The View From Where I Stand Now

NOW, in the moment, the present, I had defined it in 2014 as No illusion, All-encompassing, the W is to me, an upside down M to bring from heaven Christ’s Millenial Reign that I had been taught throughout my Christian years.

I am only now (18 years later) reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. This book is adding dimension and confirmation of what I have been taught by Spirit about NOW.

We are all worthy of joy and I understand this. Each moment is what we have and I get this. I am also a mother of seven, with five still living and when they hurt I hurt. When they feel betrayed I get it. I still follow the Spirit for the guidance in my own life but it does not mean that I do not feel their cries and calls for help.

My youngest is 32. The eldest died at 39 in the middle of 2014. My grandchildren have often called out to me with their eyes and pleaded for help from Gramma. They still believed that I had the power, as they “know” that their parents have the power over them.

I had to stand by and support my children as best I could without getting in their way. “This served the grandchildren best” was my thought.

Everyone gets their own role to play and they are the main actors in the making of their part of the Christ Ego that makes up this world.

The power lies in our ability to know this is not real.

“Christ’s Guilty Conscience” (CGC), while it may have provided our life circumstances in this world, does not hold the highest power in our existence.

The highest power comes in the form of Deliverer and Redeemer. Redeemer of whom? Redeemer of Christ, of course. The Christ in each of us that believes He is worthy of punishment.

One may offer a portion of assistance to another in this walk but it is primarily “the other” that must walk on his own.

We each have the armies of heaven awaiting our every command in service to that which is our true desire and objective for this life.

That is hard to understand here, especially when modern Christianity teaches us to help our neighbor, not to mention our children and the grandbabies.

Our own empathy, conscience, or “Christian” upbringing wants to take care of others and keep them safe and protected.

I see this as also keeping them locked in the dream. We are meant to stand on our own, in our own faith and witness.

That goodness and joy are a part of being, not relying on someone else to give us a reason for existence. Namely our parents or main caregivers to supply the definition of our existence for us. And yet this is what we typically do.

We take a piece of this circumstance and what that person said or how this made us feel and we create a “monster” that roams the earth as our ego trying to defend itself and give meaning to its life.
This is not who we are.

We are divine creatures on a divine mission of waking a sleeping god.


I have never felt adequate as a parent or able to supply all the needs for my children.

I have no family associations that supported or sustained me through life on my mother or father’s side. In fact, those that could have shown me respect taught only hate and disrespect for what represents my place in the world.

Likewise, there is no financial support or structure in place to lay out the parameters of my children’s well being or safety. To give credence to the ego monster that Christ has given them to walk as.

I gave my children access to “family” so that they may have an experience that I did not have. Each of them has their own opinions about me because of that.

I try to give them all the tools I can to meet the challenges that they will face in life.

It is only recently that I understand that they chose these particular challenges because the Christ in them wanted to understand something. I cannot tell you how this has lifted the burden that I bear, as I desire only good for my children.

The terms good and bad have become neutral in my understanding and spiritual awareness. This does not take away the sting and sometimes horror of what vices they allow themselves to believe they have been put in.

The empathy of sorrow at separation is not something that I believe we need to set aside. It is something we can share and comfort one another with.

I believe that like all other witnesses in this place of illusion it enhances our joy at the reality and truth in the awareness that we are divine beings and all is ours, as it is our Father’s.

Of course, we each will come to the “waking up” to that awareness in our own time and way.

Life’s experiences in the ego (CGC) give me a reason to reflect on the place of a woman in this world and the kind of emotional and psychological pain that the illusion causes her throughout her life.

I realize that if I am going to testify of Christ in the manner that I have set my cap to, I will be exposed to all the trauma that can befall a woman emotionally and that I will be able to survive and not be crushed by it because of my commitment to my ultimate calling of choice which is to testify of Christ and of His Father’s Love for Him.

This has not been a fun ride to be on, nor pleasurable in any way. (In others words I am personally not a masochist.)

It does, however, bring me comfort as I reflect on my mission and think that I might be worthy to experience such things that would be transformed by the Spirit into something gloriously incredible beyond measure.

My NDE studies are so much spiritual food to me of late. I feel a synchronicity in the readings so great that it feels as if the messages these brothers and sisters were given were to be recorded so that I might see them at this particular time. It is a fabulous feeling.

I could not help but note that it feels like a testimony meeting where someone says just the thing that you needed to hear.

I will close this message today with a huge heart full of gratitude for the purpose and plan of our existence.

I bear witness that there is meaning beyond our current understanding that once known it will obliterate all the trauma and heartache of the challenges that we have been asked to experience.

Till next time,
God bless us One and All,
It is only in stepping out of the ego(CGC) status that we have the opportunity to understand the meaning of our life in any given NOW.

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