A Mother’s Lament; the Obligation to Share What She Knows, Even if She is Emotionally Fragile

I am not interested in making money off of this page. I have never had money to speak of and that has its advantages. Would I be up for the challenge if that were to change?

Emotionally I am hamburger. What I know about humanity is powerful and it is only by the grace of God and angels that I carry on. But if I have a message that could ease human suffering, do I not have an obligation to share it? Do people want to hear my particular perspective? It is really different from any I have heard or seen.

I spent over 30 years in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and bore testimony regularly. I taught my children within this structure, so I am inclined to feel my sharing where I am in my walk in the world is important to somebody.

(PS I am no longer satisfied with the teachings of the church and do not attend. In no way do I speak for them. At the same time I cannot deny their teachings have not affected me.)

I thought about doing a TEDx talk and got so emotionally shook-up when I saw one I could apply for locally I put my back out again. At the same time…

I think I would be short-selling myself if I did not send in an application for the TEDx Talk. I am not sure that they will accept me though, they want only good solid science. My talk would be social science, if you will, what the effects of religion and have led me to understand as a means of coping with the world. I believe it should have merit in that environment. I will know within a month if I am accepted.

I want to share the love I feel and that I believe comes from the Holy Spirit, as I came to know Him over a lifetime of trying to understand things.

My prayers of late are that those who would benefit from what I share will find me. I just choose to put it out there and let it be what it is. I continue to grow in my understanding of things and know that no one has all the answers. I never expect to and certainly do not want to lead anyone into a darker place.

I come from a place of chemical, physical, and emotional abuse and I sought for years to understand the world around me. My journey has taught me many things. It has pretty much separated me from family and humanity. And yet I have a great compassion for humanity and a desire to comfort and take away the desire and “need” of suffering to the extent I am allowed.

I believe that the amount of suffering we have is a choice. Pain, we will all experience, but pain does not equal suffering in my mind, because it ends. The psychological crap we lay on ourselves does not end, unless we choose to think differently. It continues and recycles throughout generations.

I still follow where I believe Jesus and the Holy Spirit lead me and you will not find another person that sees life’s experiences in the way that I do. Never have been a mixer, though I can meet most situations.

I see a lot of hurt in the world and I empathize, but I do not want to partake in it and I believe that Christ is the One that is allowing me to function daily, while I live through what I used to believe hell would be like. Where my children where suffering and I could not help.

That was when they were little and I thought of giving up on the world and ending my life. Today I feel that life, while very challenging is not ours but Christ’s and that we have empowerment, by forgiving The Christ Consciousness that created this world, and this identity that lives in this body for being willing to live a life of suffering.

Joy is our destiny and we need to reach out and take it.

May the angels walk along-side us as we do our best to bring light into the world.

Till next time, God bless, Namaste~

About Yvonne Debra Simmons aka Christa-Ann Faith Godsdaughter

Welcome: Please read at your own risk and be responsible for your own edification and enlightenment. Disclaimer: I no longer consider myself a traditional Christian. I do still follow the Jesus I have come to know and I follow the Holy Spirit, as I recognize Him. I believe that Jesus taught us that we are the Christ and the "I Am" he referred to encompassed all of us. Thus, I believe we have misunderstood many teachings of Jesus. I consider myself a seeker and a believer in humanity and that there is a purpose to being; and an answer as to why we have the suffering that we do. I believe that the Holy Spirit is the instructor we should seek and that means trusting your own heart and being responsible for the guidance we follow. That means learning to hear and heed the voice of warning, instruction, or confirmation. I continue to be a student and an observer. Watching for something that tells me my hypothesis is wrong, or that I need to tweak it in some way. Writing is my greatest instructor these days. When I begin a book I do not know where it will end up or how it will develop, but I do know that I will be a changed person when I finish, knowing myself better. That may just be the best we can hope for in life. I feel as if I have died and gone to heaven numerous times as I have uncovered secrets that I long to share. My body will age and fulfill the contract I made with Christ (meaning all of us) to bare witness of His divine curse of suffering, but my spirit and intellect will bare witness of His innocence and the beauty and expanse of The Father's Love for His Son. To me, this, for now, is the ultimate freedom. I wish no argument with anyone. May we each be true to our own conscience. God bless us every One, Namaste~
This entry was posted in Personal Started December 2018 and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s