I will continue with where I am in my studies at this time though it will NOT be all-inclusive of the many things that I consider and ponder. Where I live right now is like sitting on the back of a fire breathing dragon and with very little weaponry save a broken heart and a contrite spirit. I know that I have not only the ability but the responsibility to tame the dragon. Caution is required because I do not desire to destroy or seek vengeance but to calm and sing the mighty dragon into an awakening, quite the opposite of the sleep of death one might think would be required.

I do not seek the accolades of man but the meaning of the word of God, wherever I find it. Since I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints (for whom I do not speak) and maybe even before I have been seeking to retrain my brain. So really the wonderful avenues of study that have been given to me the past few years are right in line with that endeavor.

A Course In Miracles is a channeling of Jesus to a non-Christian woman and a man who was likewise. I study this on my own, not with or through others. I have not been familiar with channeling that I recall, other than the case study of Private Dowling during my NDE studies. (Recently I have seen other channelings and I do not support or feel the same way with all that I have witnessed, especially concerning Jesus, even though the numbers are limited.) The first two channelings mentioned do seem sincere to me.

In ACIM there were many things that were already taught to me by the Holy Ghost/Spirit in my personal circumstances, so when I came upon Jamie Butler’s channeling of Jesus on You Tube I was intrigued. I have said before that I watched that video repeatedly and I still reflect on it.

Not unlike my experience with ACIM I felt the prompting to look into the other works she did. Cautiously at first, with prayer and listening, I found myself engaged in the blog of Dr Medhus and the 5 years of archives. I have read them and followed the links at the end of the blogs that are recorded. My heart and mind have been stretched and exposed to different ideas and perspectives. I feel as if I have been in the hearts and minds of others (many quite well known). I feel as if my sense of the world has expanded to include multitudes of galaxies and dimensions as well.

I hope to record my reflections on the Channeling Erik blog through the lens of the gospel as I do my NDE study. I plan on putting my NDE studies into book form once I get my personal story out there.

I feel that it needs to be said that I do not desire psychic ability, of which channeling is a part, although I do believe that we all have and are capable of psychic ability. The empathability and cognitive awareness that I have of humanity leaves me a bit shy in the world, not so much because of what they can do to me but because of what I understand about them and my awareness that I am such a threat to those who wish to hold on to the delusion of this world. I also feel that the telling of my story must happen before those gifts are opened up to me. I have had limited expression of them in the past but, again, I really feel my story must be expressed soon and first. Before it is lost because as I grow it does not affect me as much and it is losing its ability to influence my day to day actions. I do want it recorded how I got to this place. Not that others need to follow in my footsteps but to testify that it is possible. I believe this is a responsibility we all have; to record our journey of awareness and awakening.

I do want to give extreme caution to those who would consider viewing Dr Medhus, Channeling Erik blog. You will find course language and vulgarity, mainly from Dr Medhus and from her son, though I believe what comes from her son, especially of late, is to make her feel comfortable that it is him and at times I sense his frustration on it needing to be that way. My opinions may not be correct, but I feel I would be negligent in not stating them since her work is so much a part of me now. You will also find all manner of attitudes about death and about life on her blog.

Many people who comment on the blog have spiritual and emotional issues….truly, who of us doesn’t….most have lost loved ones, some very recently, myself included, and I have seen it stated that they felt brought to the blog by their passed loved one as I did…however the General Authorities of the church say that we are to stay away from those who use bad language and what not. So I am not going to encourage it as a member of the church.

I just know that for me and my kin and what I need work on in this life this was and is a significant reading and education for me. I mean if I can go to a Brigham Young University class on anything and be instructed to read a testimonial of a man in a prison being raped, I think I can have the right to read this blog and learn what the Holy Ghost would have me learn. (Yes, that did actually happen around 2009 or 10. I am not trying to be crass but don’t tell me Mormon means Pollyanna.)

I also am nervous because my verbiage can be very raw sometimes. Right now I am actually nearing the feeling of embarrassment for studying her work. Recently her lack of discretion, human decency, and courtesy has been very evident. I understand that she is a mother in mourning but that does not give her the right to invade in peoples space, whether they are living or dead. Her desire to bring her son to nearly the position of savior of the world is, well, embarrassing also, while she shuns the divinity and calling of Jesus. I can have empathy and understanding but that does not mean that it is right.

She is the one who seems to like the raw with no compassion, the dirty, the course, even asking a serial killer who cannibalized his victims what part of the body he best liked eating. Jamie was obviously distressed and expressed that and Dr Medhus just plowed right over her. You might ask why I not take this directly to her. For one thing I do not believe she would hear. And the other is that she has made her work public and I do not wish to interfere with what she feels she needs to do. It occurs to me that she may just be trying too hard to make it work and to be non-judgmental, which on its own is very commendable.

There are immense things on a psychological/spiritual level to be discovered in her work. I have been able to gain a lot of insight. Non-judgment, is key here, of course. So why am I even commenting on my uncomfortable feelings? Because I still live in the world and at least partial judgment is required in this sphere. I am not judging her as an individual other than to say I believe that she is confused and misguided if she thinks that making light of the dark side of things will bring others into the light. I do believe that is a lot of what Erik thought, in the beginning anyway. I can tell by his words though, that he is being taught by the true source of light and will guide us without the brashness if she will allow him. I am thinking of his use of the old English word “hence” that was noted in her first book, My Son And The Afterlife, for example where he says he is doing away with the foul language. She is working on a second with him about his life after his passing; maybe I will be proved wrong.

What I am seeing now however reminds me a bit of the paparazzi in chasing down the celebrities that will put her and her son in the limelight and give him credibility by one-upping the competition. This feeling primarily comes from the recent interview with the young woman who was killed by an extremist group. She had only passed a few days before and was tending to her own transition and enduring what she was seeing her family go through. Was there peace offered in this to anyone? Do you really think her family was searching for that kind of confirmation? I suspect they are in a form of shocked relief terror that will take some time to work through. It makes me sad for Dr Medhus. Perhaps Dr Medhus was seeking to give comfort but there is a part of me that says this is not so.

I have studied her work, as I do all studies anymore, looking for what the Holy Ghost would have me understand about myself and my relationship to God and other people and this world at large. She has shared that she comes from an abusive background as do I, and in that, I understand the lack of healthy boundaries. As I write this, I reflect on my own issues in this area.

I say these things here as a warning or precaution about the work and so many things that the world, especially the internet, offers today. Please listen to that still small voice and when the caution signal comes up heed it and proceed with caution and when the signal says “run” or “drop it” do not be afraid to do so.

That having been said, I believe that anyone would find much food for thought here. The obvious question to me is “do I believe that she is actually communicating with her son”. I have to say that I do. Do I believe everything she talks about, no, but I am open to many possibilities. I can say that I have found greater understanding by reading her blog and I am very grateful for that. The bantering between the three has taught me a lot about our relationship with the other side and about our relationships here. I will speak more on this another time. I definitely proceed with caution and the red flags are up and I may just drop and run away with what I have and leave it alone because dark things cloud our minds and weaken our common sense and mourning is one of those kinds of things. In the meantime I will also offer prayers on her behalf.

I am thinking of my interactions on her Facebook support pages. I have limited the content that I see on one of them so that I do not feel impressed to comment as often. I do not feel the concepts of Jesus are not welcome there by Dr Medhus, the lady who manages the pages, or Jamie. Erik would welcome the conversation I think, if it was approached in proper context. My confidence in God is great and I tend to have the impact of water or fire on people. I either inspire them to grow or cause them to go deeper into the shadows. I try to temper my ways and even back way up when I sense that they choose the shadows. My goal is to lift others, not to create a greater burden on them. I take it one day at a time.

I have decided to ask for an interview with my bishop to let him know what I am speaking about on this blog. I currently carry a temple recommend and I want to have that in good faith. The things I will be writing about in the future may well be controversial, especially with regards to the teachings of the church and the counsel to stay in safe places. I believe the challenge is that there are no real safe places on the earth and someone with the heart of Christ needs to journey among our brethren and find the threads that remind us of our kinship, because just as we cannot be saved without our dead (meaning our ancestors), I also, personally believe that we cannot be saved without our brothers and sisters with who we live in this current (and all) generation(s). I will accept removal from the church rolls if I must, before I will stop my work and witness though, I would continue to keep my covenants, for those with God and not with man.

I also will not in any way tell the General Authorities, including the Prophet, how to manage the affairs of the church. That is not my responsibility. My responsibility is to keep my covenants and bring all truth into the church according to the timing of the Lord by seeking it wherever it may be. Sadly, yet I suppose at this point in time understandably, we are not allowed to speak of these things at church. I did hear a wonderful talk by a young man on angels recently, though, and our church is based on miraculous manifestations. I know and trust the bishop will be led as the Lord would have him proceed at this time. And I will accept it gracefully.

I have a witness of the Holy Ghost/Spirit and I know, as I know God lives and loves us, that I must continue the work and leave it in Gods hands whatever the outcome may be.

Till next time, God Bless, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.     ~Namaste~