It seems like, even today, at nearly 60 years old, when I feel good about a task or a choice I have made someone who is a person of trust, a friend or an authority figure, will come up and tell me that I messed up and it nearly cripples me inside. It seems as if the message is basically suggesting I have no business being happy.
It really has been a common theme throughout my life. What I am recognizing is that I can take charge of the energy and charge their words or attitudes have on me. I now know that those attitudes come from them and they show how the person feels about themselves, not about me as it would appear at first.
This is a huge part of the illusion that we live in thinking that we are influenced by what is outside of us and this is a deep topic so do not get unnerved by it….though it is unnerving isn’t it. Rather, they are projecting their own lack of self worth on to me in the form of a criticism and I am only now beginning to figure out how to get out from under the attack without just withdrawing from them. It is important to understand that these kinds of projections come back on those who send them out in a long term sense. I do not believe in a permanent hell, but I do believe that these are the things that will bind us, these criticisms and attacks on others, because we do not realize that it is ourselves that we are attacking.
That is not to say that words and attitudes of others do not hurt, but it does help to understand the nature of existence in the scheme of things so that one does not desire to return the attack and thus continue the abuse upon himself. There are many tools that will allow us to release the emotional trauma that we have been given at others behavior or lack. They can allow us to feel like an integral part of humanity as we forgive others and keep ourselves emotionally in a safe place. Over time the sting of someone’s critical opinion will have little impact but to be a reason to offer them forgiveness and even to allow divine guidance to offer healing in the form of self love.
This will come as we grow in the experience of being true to ourselves and acknowledging when we have been attacked hurt and finding a way to express that this is what happened. Two of the techniques that I am using as I am training my psyche to understand I am not my body are Emotional Freedom Technique, which is also known as tapping, and Energy Medicine as taught by Donna Eden.
I had been exposed to both modalities for many years but it is only the last year or two that I have done tapping on a regular basis and I have just begun the energy medicine work with great results.
I want to mention another experience that I had concerning the body and emotions and how even though we know certain truths to be true we may have body reactions. I experienced this the other day when I typed a sentence about my daughter being dead. Even now my energy shivers and quakes. I know she lives and I know that this is illusion and yet I must have compassion for my body and for others suffering. Knowing this is not real does not relieve us from trauma, nor does it make us less accountable for having compassion towards others. Jesus said to mourn with those who mourn. We are not to jump up and down and claim, “It just isn’t so”. In this sphere we need to exercise compassion and mercy and those things that he taught us about because we are needful of those things ourselves.
Thank you Heavenly Father for giving us this capacity and for our use of it.
In Jesus Name
Till next time,