It Has Helped Me Transition

“I started watching the Netflix original “Heartland” while I was in the state of Washington. I have always loved horses. The mountains, gorgeous trees, etc. I can pretend I am there or a part of it somewhere in my brain and it brings me comfort.

I have not been familiar with horses really throughout my life. Mainly because I feared their size. I had one step on my foot when I was about eight or nine years old and it frightened me. And of course, (seemed like anyone who interacted with me got in trouble) my step-cousin who brought him to me did get into trouble for bringing him up to the farmhouse in the first place.

Seems I always have a negative tag for an otherwise pleasant experience for I had truly wanted to see the horse and to touch him. I replayed that kind of scenario in my youth. I might conclude that this was a big part of my role in fulfilling the “Christ-Conscience” assignment Christ gave me.

In ACIM Jesus has told us he will wipe away the challenges and only the joy and love will be present and carry any emotional charge. I do believe this is what will occur. That is my hope and witness at this time.

I have always connected to the earth and what the physical body can give us in a big way. My joy for life when it is unveiled is typically more than people want to deal with. It is like someone has to shove it in my face or down my throat. Yet they do not want to see a sad face. Smile.

Smile and put on your mask so we can convince the little ones it is worth the struggle. No! It is not worth it, I mean the smile. So much hurt and phoniness happen behind a smile. ……I suspect that this is one of the “Christ-Consciousness” symptoms we are all a part of. Make no mistake though, this life is worth it!

“Heartland” addresses this attitude a lot at all ages. Yet, somehow the people on this ranch believe that they are worthy of joy and happiness in life. They do not shrink from the challenges people or nature hand them but support one another in facing it. They believe in one another and this makes them family. This makes them connected.

This concept is one I would say is founded firmly in what I have found to be a truth. I say this so “meanderingly” because the truth is yet to be in its’ entirety. In fact, when we get back to our rightful place without time, I suspect that truth will be ever evolving and experiential in its fullness and entirety and will be absolute bliss and euphoria. The only truth we need to be firmly aware of in the here and now is that God IS and all other “realities” are based on that.

“Heartland” has the beautiful trees, mountains, and hills that remind me of the Northwest and the majesty of nature and appease my longing for both somehow. It is like a dream in waking hours.

And then there is the family. I have watched Amy, Mallory, and Lou all grow up and interact as a family. I love the way it is presented. Of course, it is fiction and I cannot say that I have observed that kind of interaction in the families I have witnessed over the years. I am so grateful that they kept the family together with all their challenges. (I had just finished Season 7 when I wrote this.)

My family life was blown out of the water before I got here. I knew that when I arrived as a full-grown spirit taking on the persona of an infant. Like each of us, I came with limited recall that would be completely forgotten as I learned the language and social/cultural expectations of my surroundings. It would take the Spirit to remind me where I came from.

I had been prepared for the bumpy ride. I also had numerous assistants, seen and unseen, committed to getting me through my chosen path and assignment. That does not mean it would be easy.

Somehow “Heartland” resonates with my soul and touches me in a way that goes beyond words. I did not feel guilty about the “friend” who introduced me to the program or the horse that I was allowed to groom for a couple of weeks that I left behind in Washington. I was a bit surprised at that. I think it is a choice I made to not feel guilty. I knew that I was led by the Spirit as I walked my walk in Washington and separating from those relationship’s, at least physically, at the time was the right thing to do. Or maybe I just ran because I did not know how to face the challenges that I felt were coming.


In South Dakota I do not feel close to nature in the same way. I can walk in the small town community that I live in but I did not grow up here. I have not been known by the community all my life. I have not learned how to blow off the attitudes one has to put up with at work and hold down a job. How can I feel welcome when I know there are those who have. Not to mention how can I expect them to understand who I am or what I am working through because of where I have been.

Upon return from Washington I received a warm welcome from a few significant people at one of the businesses that I attend regularly, but with my background, even that feels very uncomfortable. Being welcome and accepted changes at the drop of a hat in this world. And being stepped on and laughed at is just a risk I really do not want to take. I have taken too many hits.

I feel embarrassed and shamed. like a wolf trying to join with another pack. (Grammarly wants me to change shamed to ashamed, but I do not believe I have done anything to be ashamed of. I wanted to know my mother while I could and I was told she is not my mother. Possession is 9/10ths of the law. I left so as not to be confrontational.

Rejected in Washington by yet another facet of what this world calls family. Interestingly, I was welcomed back by someone who has shoved me away and shunned me quite regularly over the years. Reality is I know that I do not dare trust it. “Trust not in the arm of flesh”, this is real and it is the ego that makes that truth sting.

That is just one of the risks we took being here in the physical world. I do believe we were taught and warned about it. Though it would have been very hard to comprehend in that world where we all knew our connection and felt the tremendous love that is still in memory in the spirit world.

Like teaching someone who has never tasted salted pretzels or ice cream before how it makes you feel. The hope here in the physical world is the witness that we are all one. No matter what challenges we go through here we will gain from it and the ultimate prize will be of such value it will be worth the frustration and heartache.

Something we knew for sure before we came here is that there is no real death. We knew we would face that here, however, it would not be real any more than all the rest that happens here that is not founded on love.

Watching the program reminds me how backwards we have things here. We think that we are creating or working toward something as we “build” our lives. The program works wonderfully with rebuilding broken lives. And that is awesome! Truly!

And we ought to do that with great joy while we are here. What we are here to remember though, is God’s Love from which we came and which, on a psychological level, we have thought ourselves to be removed from. Without this, as our foundation, we are still lost in time and space.

We do not like to hear about The Son of God, Christ, today. We have found false acceptance of our identity as Free Agent Egos capable of making and breaking ourselves and each other and  willing to just fight against life until it ends and then “get on the horse again” and come back for another life as we are re-incarnated.

Or we believe that someone else can pay some unrealistic debt for us and that some “pie in the sky” kind of love will welcome us into the bosom of “family”. Thus the symbolism of The Cross holds the proverbial “carrot in front of our nose”, as long as we are humble enough.

The problem with that is this “carrot” does one of two things. It sets me up as “better than you” while the “not worthy DNA factor” sits inside our sub-conscious and keeps us separated or I just feel belittled and overwhelmed and know that I will never make the cut. And this attitude can be there no matter what persona we put on for the outside world.

Truth is, if God IS, than that is all there is. His love either IS or is not. There is no variance, there is no in between, “partial reality” that can stand up to any real test.

I admit the witness of this is difficult to deal with, especially in the world we live in today. That does not make it an un-truth. I can do no more than walk the walk and bear witness of the teachings of the Spirit along the way.

I am grateful for “Heartland” for helping me through this time of transition. I have decided to stabilize in South Dakota for the time being. That does not mean that I cannot travel and visit throughout the US. I still sense that my grandchildren may have need of me for a time, if only from a “near-by distance” and I will reach out and find the nature that restores and balances me.

Even though I fear it, because of the threat it is to my physical body, I feel strength and encouragement from the wildlife and the earth herself. I believe she is ready for the shift about life that was meant to come even in the beginning of her existence… or fall, depending on what philosophy of life you follow.

I also know that as weak as I am as a mortal, my spiritual witness and strength is powerful and I will use every ounce that I have to bear witness of the truth of what we are, what we are capable of, and what our destiny is.

Thank you “Heartland” and Netflix and all that were involved with the making of that show. You have helped me more than you will ever know!

God bless us every One.


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SAVING CHRIST; IT’S IN THE CARDS Chapter Five (Warning Sexual/Physical Abuse May Be Uncomfortable)

*Please note this chapter will discuss sexual and physical abuse issues that may be uncomfortable for any reader, especially any younger reader.

Chapter Five

Joy will be shared whether one speaks of it or not.
Joy; completion of a project, attainment of a goal, or the end of a long and difficult journey.
The fifth card the probable outcome and message from God, The Father of Christ.

I truly believe that heaven may be found here on earth. As we begin to truly understand what and who we are, more and more will experience it and their joy will be contagious. Time and space are part of the illusion created by the confusion of Christ and protected by the Sabotaged Ego as a place of punishment of the Son of God for leaving His Father and committing a sin worthy of death. It is also the remedy for the situation which, when resolved will find an end. Sadly the loss of time and space produces fear in the ego because it relates it to death.

Fear takes its place in the consciousness of man, even in the greatest of environments, and crushes the spirit, silencing the voices of those who have the power to create worlds. As a society built on fear we tape shut the mouths of those who were sent to set us free. “Let only those speak who follow the protocol established by our fore-fathers” seems to be the consensus of humanity.

There will be rebellion and there will be improvements, but even those improvements can circle back around on us and keep us under the glass that keeps us from our freedom. There will come a time when this will cease and true freedom will reign.

Fear will be gone and freedom of speech for all will be recognized. It will signify the Kingdom of Christ has been restored to mankind. Christ will be recognized in all of true creation, personally, whole, and complete individually for there exists only that which is of God and His Love.

The ego or personal identity is not something to fear, but something to be claimed, calmed, and reminded of God’s Love and its Omnipotence and Omnipresence. There truly is nothing else but spooky shadows that fade with the Light of Truth.

The Shadows of Fear cannot be banished to an endless well like the Boogie Man in a child’s cartoon. Each must be allowed to recognize the light within himself and the total ridiculousness that he would not be recognized and embraced as a Child of God. Non-acknowledgement kills (See the movie “Rise of the Guardians” to see how it plays out. “Cypher In The Snow” is a Mormon Classic that teaches this same principle.).

I believe this is the true finding of the infamous test on the babies who were not touched. I believe it was lack of acknowledgement that allowed them to die. Basically they were not acknowledged as alive. That includes not only touch but looking in their eyes and seeing them.

Fear was the thing that put my burden of pain so large the world imploded on me and I will never again be what I was before my daughter died. She and I struggled through the years. We had a few good moments in that last year though. We both knew it was coming and that there was nothing either of us could do to stop it.

That said, nothing could ever stop the love I have for my children and nothing can end the patience that I have to wait for them to understand how great and complete my love is. I have been blessed with a witness of my parents love for me, despite their mistakes and being at a loss of what to do.

And this is how I know of God’s love for me and you. It is also how I know that He would not kill one child for the “sins” of another. I know it was my daughter that helped me grow beyond my prejudices that I had maintained, in large part, because of my training in traditional Christianity. The things that I studied before the year before her death and after, to get confirmation of where she was going and how she would be, moved a mountain inside of me and forced me to catch ahold of the Spirit in a new way and fly on the current higher and higher until I was able to be in a place where the pain and the taunts could not get to me and I knew that whatever discomfort I felt, and her children felt, it was not for nothing.

I say this even as I now feel so alone in a world of humanity. My movements are slow, my desire to mingle with people, while still there, feels a bit defeated. Why bother? Who will care to hear? And they all are trapped in their own issues, addictions, or laws of silence that we are not allowed to see each other anyway.

I do not know if it is because of my age and my history or because I currently live in a small rural town but these walls that keep us so separate seem so strong. I have lived here two or three years now and I feel the people have pretty well slapped a label on me and closed the door behind their polite smiles, if they do not actually look the other way. What else are they supposed to do if you will not step in line with their view of life so that their sense of stability and sanity may stay in place?


Robotic is how I thought of it as a child of eight or nine. Today I understand that we each play a role that Christ gave us to fulfill his belief that he had separated from God and was worthy of death. Perhaps that is the role of many of us today. We have so many of our basic needs met. Food, clothing, shelter are not hard to come by for the masses, though I do recognize that many have agreed to live outside even these blessings. The children, yes, the children as well, agreed to come to such challenging circumstances to fulfill His misconception.

Contrary to the concepts of decency, I believe that some infants even came to take on sexual abuse in some cases. I was one of those. I know there have been many others. We see ourselves as not fully developed as we enter the bodies here on earth but just the opposite is true. Am I trying to say they can be treated like adults? No, of course not, but they do have a sense of why they came and what their path will include. In Law of Attraction terms, they have sent out the vibration of what they want to experience in their formative years. It is not easy for the civilized mind to consider and certainly not stated to suggest it is appropriate for those who abuse these tiny ones to do so.

(I feel impressed to speak of sexuality here as I am commenting on the human condition. It was in my book “Reflections at Fifty” and would be suitable here for this is the culmination of my life’s understanding at sixty. I was going to call it “Surprises at Sixty” but “Its In The Cards” claimed that spot and I hope the surprises are obvious as I transitioned out of my traditional Christian mentality. Another side note is that “Reflections at Fifty” was originally titled “Portrait of a Harlot/Saint” because of my challenges with sexuality since I was young. I am considering changing the title back.)


Sexual orgasm is a term that has been used in Near Death Experiences as the feeling experienced in the presence of God’ love. This is sometimes described as having an orgasm all over the body. Is it any wonder that we would seek it out in our physical existence? It is not illogical to me that an adult spirit would be willing to appease that energy goal, in the form of an infant, in an attempt to calm the ruffled spirits of his friends and soul group.

It was misbehavior from at least one cousin that I recall as a toddler, though knowing the family of origin I would not be surprised if there were others. As I reflect on the time when at eight years of age my father opted to turn his physical abuse into an incestual relationship with me, I recall my prayer in the hallway. Hearing my seven year old brother yell as he was hit with the two by four that was our father’s whooping tool at the moment. I counted well above ten and prayed that my brother would be okay and that something would calm my father by the time he got to me. We had been called in to get a whooping for something neither of us knew anything about.

My father needed release for his rage. I had pleaded with my brother to take the spanking first and he did, for me. If I had not asked him to do that would what came after still happened? Is this the Law of Attraction in bloom?

I went in the room, pulled down my pants (as I had been instructed on many prior occasions of spankings) and bent over the end of the bed. Instead of the two by four hitting my backside, I received a warm organ between my legs as my father used me to masturbate. It was a shock to my senses in ways it has taken me years to understand. The betrayal extended in every direction I currently hold sacred. And I may never in full understand, for who can understand the insanity of what we do as we consider ourselves in the insane position of not being in God’s presence?

It is only of late in studying the Law of Attraction that I have considered that I would have desired something that would be traumatic, in keeping with my contract, and something that would temporarily have calmed him. Is there logic in this? No. Is there logic in the idea that we can function civilized or otherwise outside of the presence of God? No. Is there logic in the fact that there anything besides the presence of God? No.

Christ, in each of us, deserves to be heard, embraced, forgiven for thinking He could impose the impossible on Himself or anyone else. Christ deserves to be delivered from whatever cross we have hung Him on. Whatever physical or psychological trauma we feel He is responsible for. Let us deliver the captive and set Him free.

There are those who will check me and my thoughts off as insane because I went through this experience. “Give her meds and put her out of her misery” or “Put on your big girl panties”, etc.” I have lost association with blood relation past, present, and future, in this place we call life. That does not take away my love or respect for them, nor my opportunity to testify of the wonderful truths that I have obtained working my way out of these challenges

I have been shunned by family and peers. I have no church home because I speak of God and I speak of the only true hope for all of mankind that I have ever found. I struggle in the work place because we are not allowed to address things that are out of line. This does not take away my joy. Angels buoy me up and the Spirit bears witness of truth. I cry for the suffering that we allow ourselves to be in at times. And still, the JOY outweighs it all because I know the Love of God and its patience and strength and I know that it is all there is and we will rejoice when we are willing to lay down our weapons of not being willing to see or hear how we harm each other and ourselves by not acknowledging The Son and His error toward God and His Love.


We know ourselves and our relationship with each other with much greater clarity as an infant than we do at nine or ten, maybe even the type of life of denial of God’s love that we will experience, at least in those early years. In other words, at that time we remembered the contract we have made with each other in this dream of nonsense that suggests we might be separated from God.

I fully believe that there are angels that travel along with us in life. They steer us in the direction of our plan or mission. I do not believe it is given a right or wrong judgment and as such they will be sure that we get the traumatic experiences that we signed up for. This has come to my understanding more of late while being a mother and grand-mother and knowing that there was only so much that I could do to protect my children from difficult situations.

Whether it be of abundance (which still claims separation by virtue that it can happen to others if not to us or vice versa) or neglect and abuse, we came willing to fulfill the measure of suffering that would be experienced as we thought we had left the presence of God’s Love. It has been said we came to get lessons or learn things and this may be so for those who are not incarnated at the moment. My witness is that those in that realm, including Jesus, have forgotten the absolute witness of God’s Love and it must be discovered in the realm or sphere of the flesh.

Christ comes with us into this life from the very beginning in our spiritual/psychological coding. I can hear with my spiritual ears the instruction from His Father. “Calm him like a little child, for he is My Son. Forgive and encourage Him in yourself and in others. Know that I love Him and wait patiently for the return of each of you. What a celebration we will have!”


We do not need to take on our emotional state, our financial state, physical state or anything else to define or know who we truly Are. We Are before this existence in the physical and even before what we speak of as the spiritual reign where we existed before coming here. That sphere is still part of the illusion of separation from one another and the Love of God.

The media tells us what is acceptable and what is not. It tells us who has knowledge and clout and who does not. It basically tells us what to think and wear and do and approve of, etc. Money without end is spent on this endeavor. Bodies, the ultimate in idol worship, is altered given the generation spoken of, yet how can one have the same body as everyone else? And if you do not have the right body type you are not to be heard as a real voice of reason.

Does this attitude make it so? Is this really true if we are all from/of God? We are warned in the Bible not to have idols, yet every “body” on the planet is looked at in just that way. As an idol that distorts the true meaning of humanity as a Child of God.

At a recent doctor appointment I shared Louis Hay’s idea that bunions or carpal tunnel had to do with not being able to receive joy. The doctor stepped back and looked at my physic as I pulled my shirt down over my ample belly. His dismissal of me was pretty obvious. Will you do the same if I do not look the way you think I ought to? Will you give me a chance to speak my understanding of the moment? Having written it I have put it out to the universe and I will grow from that action. This much I know.


The suffering in the world is meant to be a stone that stacks upon our hearts so much that we can do nothing but call out to God to carry the weight of it for us and give us an understanding for the meaning of it. Mankind’s inheritance and creation was not so that they could learn by suffering. Suffering is not the great hero or catapult to humanity that allows us to grow and know what we want. We were not meant to embrace the pain and think of it as love or hope. We were created out of Love/God and we are Love/God. We are One In Him, even as Jesus was and is.

Life experience is meant to be so overwhelming that we give it to God so that He can show us who we truly are and what we are capable of. What we want to get our minds around is that there is nothing wrong with JOY. There is nothing wrong with thanksgiving and embracing the good and we are not so dysfunctional that we cannot recognize it without pain and suffering.

Whatever your circumstances, whatever your situation, you are meant to have joy. You were created to have peace, fulfillment, and abundance. All sorrow and every tear will be wiped away by the witness that all that there ever was IS God. There is nothing else and you are of Him/Her/It. I do not care what label you want to give it, this is what we are and ever will be and eventually all will understand this.

May I unequivocally declare that it is possible to have JOY and the witness of God’s Love no matter the circumstance, countenance, or even the thoughts of your mind in this moment. Because this is what you are. JOY! LOVE! God’s LOVE manifested! And your one purpose before the FATHER OF CHRIST is to forgive His Son and embrace the love and truth that are His Son’s as you by inheritance.

Out of this purpose is the ability to – through faith in God, the One God, the Only God, the all there is God – live the oneness that we Are with All that is.

Choosing suffering and ensuring that it will be the inheritance of our children seems to be acceptable with many in the world. I do not agree. Suffering is misunderstood and even looked at as a good thing in some teachings (aka Law of Attraction), as it gives us contrast and shows us what we do want. Sadly this allows us an excuse to become complacent with it and not fly above this place of sorrow and set Christ free from His false declaration that He, meaning We must die.

The Law of Attraction works to be sure, it was given to Abraham in the Old Testament as the Covenant. I believe it will not be honored in full, as it was meant to be, until we deliver Christ from bondage. In truth, the Law of Attraction is meant for the Whole Christ Consciousness.

All of us, as a whole, may receive whatever we desire. Each of us individually as well. Abraham-Hicks says that Source becomes it or that it is put into an Escrow for Us. The question is how do we access it and I believe it is by relieving Christ from His need for punishment.

The only reason it appears that we even are able to desire to harm others is because we believe that we have lack in something. The primary something is lack of God’s Love and Appreciation and this is a falsehood that we have the power to wash away.

The only time the Law of Attraction works fully will be when we are united in the understanding of who we are. I am reminded of the Tower of Babel in the Old Testament. The Christ/God shuffled the language because when mankind is speaking the same language (which includes an understanding of the intent of the words) he is capable of doing whatever he sets his mind to. The God of this world, Christ, in His fractured form and belief in His deserving of punishment and death could not accept that.

It was an affront to the disconnected ego of Christ and could not be allowed. Dear Ones, it is Christ that we were sent here to deliver and return to the remembrance of the Love of God.

Without this understanding the Law of Attraction is another chain letter or multi level marketing trap that works only for a chosen few. What falls short here in the linear sphere of time and space, also falls short in the Law of Attraction because, since we are One: We may have all the abundance we can obtain in this life and if we know another person or being is lacking we can never be truly happy. We must see Christ as the common “enemy/savior” so that we will unite in setting him free and releasing him from bondage that we may all receive our freedom and salvation.

Fear walks hand in hand with most of humanity. Darkness seems to cover the earth. It cannot be though. Because, truth IS, all there IS is the Light. Let us See Him. Let us acknowledge the Christ within ourselves and put out the fear and the superstitions.

I watched a video of Ophrah accepting an award and she concluded her speech with something like “no one needs to live in a world where we say “Me too”.” (Remember that Facebook concept that went out in the fall/winter of 2017 to indicate if a woman had been sexually assaulted or harassed.) We will not have a solution if we keep putting the problem in front of our faces without including all of humanity in the equation. “Me, too.” is not complete because it does not include the boys who were and are being abused.

If we focus on what we do want to think about and be a vibrational match to respect and dignity of everyone we will create more of it. Abraham Hicks says otherwise we invite that which we dislike into our experience and I tended to agree from an experiential and logical position. Here is the catch; during that transition of understanding who we truly are and what we mean to each other we will need to acknowledge how we feel. We will find that we need to be honest, at least with ourselves and then forgive what seems to be difficult. Keeping the joy and love in our hearts for each other. Separating physically, and/or, in our day electronically may be required for a time. Through prayer for those who offend us we send out healing. We honor the connection that is what we are.


I love how ACIM says that there is no hierarchy in the performing of miracles. There is no hierarchy in that which harms or is not of truth either. We like to say that a rapist or a murderer is horrific, yet the shunner and one who considers himself isolated or rejected is just as destructive to the truth that we are one whole.

There is only one real problem and that is seeing ourselves as separate from anyone else, including, if not especially those who are harming us. Instead, let us see Christ in all and forgive, that we may be forgiven and returned to the memory of our wholeness.

Will humans ever have appreciation for the horrors of the world, the struggles and the real atrocities that all of us are privy to? I believe that we will, as we understand that we are eternal beings; whole, complete, perfect, and with abundance without measure.

In this world of the ego we need to have witness of the challenges to motivate us to look beyond the physical and call upon the divine. In other words the atrocities are there to show us that this is not real and not of God’s love. Please, embrace God’s Love! Embrace Him! Embrace one another!


I met a man on the balcony of the hotel as I was taking photos of the Mormon Temple in St George, Utah. He had a story of great gifts and great tragedy. As a student of Energy Medicine I offered him a technique or two. A sufferer of PTSD, he declared adamantly that he could not participate in anything that would potentially heal it, because the government gave him over $2000 as long as he took his meds and had his illness. This is not an uncommon dilemma. With this kind of set up how will we be able to set ourselves free?

I am not saying take away his aid. I am saying give him what he wants for having a healthy life to begin with, and just maybe we would not need to pay him for a sick one. Yes, I really did just say that. We are all worthy of having our needs met and beyond, just because we are. This is not just a New Age/Entitlement mentality. It is the truth.


The Bible speaks of eternal life. That begins right here in accepting your role as Christ. Your role in Christ. Even Trump stands as a symbol and icon of the civilized world at this time. He reflects the best the ego can come up with. Intent to help that which is unhelp-able, that which fights itself at every turn. All the while acknowledging tom-foolery and plain ignorance in some behavior, especially in the past. His leadership is currently enforced primarily by fear and he is feared often by the very ones he seeks to help. This is currently what the human ego demands to be respected.

The ego will not sustain our nation/world/communities/or families, or our mental/social/financial/intellectual/ or spiritual stability in the long haul. No matter how it may seem to be doing so in the moment.

Who we are truly in God, will. And it will allow us to flourish and evolve.
Christ must be recognized and honored for who He is, in each of us as a part of the Whole. And not who we want Him to be; some fixture we can lay all our hopes and dreams on, while we fade in and out of life and suffering for all time.

Only in this fashion will mankind be able to open the pathways of resistance that have bound them since time began. Christ is the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega. He is that which created this world and the means by which it will change and receive its paradisiacal (as in the time of The Garden of Eden) glory.

This witness does not come from outside. It is not something that can be taught, though it needs to be spoken of and declared throughout all creation, all dimensions, time, and space. It is found in the heart of the intelligence of life. A witness that, in choosing Christ, we may each be set free from the sub-conscious, self-saboteur that denies itself the Ever Present, Ever Lasting, Ever Patient Love of God.

When man speaks of thinking for himself and looking at what stands right in front of him, he can be talked out of it. We seem to fear how delusional and intrusive following your heart or gut or passion can be, especially in the unskilled hands of would-be good doers. Again, the media has a lot to do with where we get these attitudes. Just because errors can be made we do not need to throw out the entire concept as unworthy. A wheel has the potential of running over someone but we did not do away with it.


What could be a more fitting end of our reading or outcome of our journey together than joy. I pray that this includes the sharing of what I have to offer to the world. It is the whole of me and the best of me as I stand today. I know that in giving this away, by writing it down, I will be blessed by all that is and be allowed to obtain further knowledge. This will apply whether the world is ready for what I have to share or not. I feel privileged to have you take the time to hear what I have to share. Thank you.

The bottom line is. The war is won. God wins. God IS. I AM. No illusive destruction or reincarnation will change that. The false idol created by the misguided ego will not triumph. Christ is truly our hope, our salvation, our Joy. And Christ is You And I.


Summary: Card five is the message from the original creator/Father of Christ, The Divine Father, the one that I would call God. (I believe that the one that I called Heavenly Father throughout my years as a Mormon was Christ). It also personifies the logical outcome of the situation. In other words, it makes sense if you give it a chance and can get by the brick and mortar of traditional thought.

Joy is the card of celebration for accomplishment of an outcome pursued. It also embodies the sharing of ones discoveries and sources of joy. Outside of time it simply is what you are. Celebrate! The task has already been accomplished!

The Father of Christ does not worry about His Son’s circumstance. He simply awaits His awakening. He does not even do this because where God is time has no meaning.
Recognizing Self as Christ is The Beginning of Eternal Life. That witness comes from Spirit. The experience of seeing Christ in everyone and everything you come across with another is opening one’s eyes to the truth that sets you free. It establishes you and all you observe in the presence of God’s Love, which is where we have always been.

What joy to know that we are the Christ and the saviors of Christ! It cannot help but lift others. It is not until EACH ONE is willing to remember, that our joy will be complete. Imagine all the pleasure you will experience along the way, knowing that anyone and anything that does not have this witness as yet, is but asleep and will awaken to who they are and their place in God and the fullness of His Glory.

We live in an incredible time! A time of true, delightful magic, and the ability to create what we desire with the assurance it will be as we envision and better. A glorious, joyous WE! I salute you and am grateful for each of our roles in this magnificent tapestry that is the Son of God.

Posted in Family of Mankind, Freedom's Core, Learning To Fly, Men in the Family, SAVING CHRIST; ITS IN THE CARDS | Leave a comment


Chapter Four

Where power and potential meet the magic of intention.
The Mystery; “It is the sacred place where all things are created but not yet formed.”
The fourth card in the reading represents counsel from the ascended masters, angels, guides, including Jesus and Christ.

“You will understand when you get older.” That was a common statement in my youth. As an adult, I see this as just a way of saying that nobody had any real answers or we basically live in a lose/lose world. Sadly, we think this is life and that is really just not the case. We are of God and God is Love, Abundance, Joy, and Peace. Suffering is not required to understand Him because we are Him, period.

Life may sometimes seem like you are going backwards. It would be easy to look at humanity this way. Especially, now, in 2018. It seems that slavery, now called human trafficking, is alive and well, and so many other challenges and atrocities like the bullying and sexual harassment are being brought to the public eye. Elitism is alive and well, spread across the face of the earth, not just in isolated places. Racism and genderism and all sorts of divisionary “isms” are creating a pandemic of near hysteria in some areas and hearts.

It seems that all that humankind has found to torture itself with is alive and well today. This was prophesied to be the case just before the change or shift in the understanding of mankind due to the arrival of Christ (first or second time depending on if you are Christian or Jew), when His will would be done on the earth. I believe that it is the awakening of our minds to the witness that we are the Christ, individually and as a whole that is the coming that was prophesied.

It used to be that survival was the leap that humankind would make. More recently it is productivity and industry that lifted the quality of living of so many more beyond that even of kings in eras gone by. Recently we have seen the information and connection explosion cover the earth. Now, does that mean that this progress has come with no challenges or that everyone used them to serve their fellow man? No, simply put, no. That does not take away the wonderful advances these opportunities have brought to the masses.

Churches throughout the ages have done their part in establishing forms of governing and management that have blessed the world thus far. Not to mention seeing to the less fortunate. And while no one can dispute the fact that religions have done their share of harm, we are able see the good and hopefully put the rest behind us.

We are capable of creating (in truth re-fabricating) a new emotional, intellectual, and physical environment for humankind. Let us see humanity as one entity; undivided in lifting and preserving the whole. Once humankind thinks as a unit and communicates fluently with each other as equals in their current manifestation there will be nothing that we will not be able to accomplish.

We are entering a phase in evolution that will open the doors of spirituality like nothing else ever has. The veil between the living and dead will be removed and it will be commonplace to speak of those who have gone out of their mortal bodies among us as if they are still very much with us. Insights and guidance from unseen entities will be the norm and people will step “out of the closet” as receivers of information important and pertinent to all.

Some that I have become acquainted with in the past few years are Dr.Elisa Medhus, with her son, Erik at and The New Amendment. These people ride on the shoulders of CA Cacey, Claudia Moore, and Abraham Hicks. Relative newcomers like Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine bring dignity and fun to things seen as forbidden, such as Tarot reading and lifestyles that are not considered the norm. People like Ophrah, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Toole, Louis Hay, and Wayne Dyer open our minds to consider other ways of thinking that are more focused on looking inside than pointing fingers at others and keeping the population in line and manageable.

Energy work combined with psychology are taught with Donna Eden’s Energy Medicine and her husband’s work in Energy Psychology. Other energy work is becoming mainstream such as Bio-genetics, meditation, brain scanning, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as Tapping), are exposing people to the reality of the invisible atom-like energy that swirls and moves through their physical being (much of this has been known and accepted by eastern societies for centuries) and has impact on their emotional and physical well-being.

There are many resources already in place that will help us with the transition into the Christ Consciousness or Christ Awareness. He will be known and acknowledged in general society and His place in our subconscious will be recognized as the saboteur that it is.

As we see Christ in ourselves and each other and forgive the delusion He came with about being separate from God and each other we will be acting as saviors to ourselves and those we interact with.


Prayer and meditation that allows us to be in touch with our higher selves is fundamental to human existence. Tools of communication, including the alphabet, paper, telephone, computers, and Angel Tarot Cards allow us to recognize and honor that connection and hear from one another. It is not just those that we can see here either. It includes those who have passed on or are not in a body at the moment or that have not chosen to take on a body as well.

The We that we truly are is the Whole of the manifestation and imagination of Christ. Channelling is another form of communication. The witness of the Holy Spirit is a form of channelling and this too is a form of communication or communion. Communion=being One.

We are waking the Christ within. We are waking the Christ among us and He will be recognized, heard, and healed. Ted-Talks are a great example of the multitudes having a chance to reveal their insights of the moment to the masses. YouTube and their counter-parts give people the opportunity to share like the kings of old could not even begin to dream of.

Even the President of the US that we have in office today is part of this transition as each of us have been. This is not something that will be done by one individual, it will take many individuals and organizations. The structure has been laid out since the beginning of time, but clarity like in no other time in history is present today. Technology, and the ability to share ideas quickly and across all borders and demographics, is huge as well.


I get the feeling that to use the term Christ when speaking of spiritual things is almost an insult to many. Christ is so associated with Jesus and the legends that have been built up around him that we are not allowed to speak in any other way for fear of having the doors of peoples hearts slammed in our faces and most especially by those who say they follow the traditional organizational establishments of the Christian religion.

You might say that it is my commitment to testify of Christ that I feel puts me in a most confusing place at this time. To speak of Christ is not really okay today even in churches unless you follow the specified protocol. Many have Him so identified with Jesus that they cannot hear the teachings of Jesus that said that we are each a part of Christ. My only absolute is that God Is. Without this, I would be lost.

Most of my life I did not think much about guardian angels or guides. I knew they were there but they were something that I felt I knew too little about and that could get me into trouble. Since I was four years old I knew that Jesus was watching over me and would answer if I spoke to him. Today I am very comfortable with the idea that we have many guides and assistants, according to commitments made prior to our coming here, according to our needs, and according to our alignment with our agreed outline for our walk on the earth.

I do believe that a plan was laid out by us, with Jesus as the head of this sojourn on the earth, primarily because of his being the eldest brother and his willingness to take the role. I believe we assigned helpers to help us get those assignments done that we agreed to. There are many types of angels and I cannot say I have done an extensive study of them, though many have.

A big step is being willing to see that we have help. Then comes the recognition that sometimes they can do nothing unless we ask. The reading of the cards is giving them an open invitation to participate in our lives. I really believe that many of these ascended masters and deceased loved ones have a pretty well-developed sense of humor, often at our expense as well. Let me just say to be careful what you accuse others of or what you wish for. Wink, wink.


I have to be honest and acknowledge my belief that we are all deranged or off balance mentally while we function in this illusive world. Like many, I have my share of enemies and many of them are those who, by the world’s terms, are meant to be close and supportive, because of blood connections.

I personally think these are a special group that agreed to give us the opportunity to experience the most challenge or contrast because that is currently what lifts us as a race. Did Jesus not say that the prophet is not welcome in his own land and among his own people?

Why do I think we are crazy? I believe it is because we are trying to maintain a false idea that life is rational in the way we are given it today. As long as there is a scape goat or a sacrificial lamb we are willing to cast the concept of understanding out the door.

Instead, we fabricate whatever story is convenient for our society and “punish” those who do not yield to that story line. We have created scape goats and sacrificial lambs of all sorts to appease the gods that belong to the idols of our egos (meaning the idol is our ego) because we believe that the body represents who we are. And what threatens it, threatens us.
We will defend it to the death in most cases.

In days past non-conforming individuals were simply set outside the boundaries of social safety and left to die or set up as an example of the punishment received for non-compliance, such as the stockades. It still happens today in your average school room or work place settings.

Today there is a sophisticated form of snobbery and shunning that occurs when we do not see eye to eye. We are told by the latest trends and theories of psychological development to rid ourselves of negative influences in our lives. That council is in the cards I use and religious leaders of our day still preach that message. Stay out of harms way, but separation alone will not correct the problem and I do believe there is a solution.

I truly believe the resolution lies not in separating ourselves but in neutralizing the effects by understanding who and what we are as children of One God that is One Whole.

So the bottom line is…da da dahhhh…I have to step out of this world or at least above all of this and see the big picture. Like the hawk, the owl, or the eagle, if I am to see what I am after I need to soar high above that which I need to address. You and I both know that the teaching that I grew up with is “Keep your feet on the ground!”. “Stop daydreaming!”, “Grow Up!”, and today it is a little more mellow, “That is just the way it is!”, “Get over it!, “Suck it up!”.

At nearly sixty-two years old I want to say, “NO! I will no longer accept that what we think of as normal has anything to do with normalcy; unless you are willing to see it as “normalized insanity”. I think that we, and our children, deserve to live in an awareness of what mankind is capable of being, today, not tomorrow, but right here and now.

Thank goodness for people who dared step out of the box and show people that we are really able to take on a lot more personal responsibility than was thought. It have given us electricity, indoor climate control, the ability to travel, and to learn. We have communication potential in a way that we have not seen before in recorded history.

We have access to well-developed programs of organization. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a tremendous example. Not that they always, individually, carry out the splendid principles their doctrine is based on but the management, industry, and welfare program for those who struggle for a time is renowned.

And the concepts of education and confidence in public performance is truly inspiring. Sadly, I believe, that it too misses the mark of what it truly has in understanding and setting the people on fire with a desire to challenge themselves and lift one another.

If a teaching only inspires or includes those who opt to participate, it is more like the chain letter concept I was referring to and if you do not “make the mark” you are left to feel unworthy and are in fact told that is what you are, unworthy.

Also, if family members do not adhere they will not get blessings either and even lose their place in the family. I see that as another form of shunning and I do not believe it is a legitimate reflection of the Love of God. (P. S. I DO believe the info and ancient plates where given to Joseph Smith Jr. I just do not believe humanity was ready for anything greater than what was given them at the time. Look at how the world received the believers, as well as some took advantage of their knowledge and allowed themselves to be puffed up.)

Extremism in any philosophy simply creates another maze that humanity can never win. When we teach that there is only one way to eat or have a family or dress we set ourselves up to failure, judgment, and condemnation. Even in the field of energy we can get extreme and insist on not purchasing recycled (second-hand) items for fear of the energy of their previous owners and yet recycling is kind to the earth as it helps keep things out of her landfills.

I believe that there are behaviors that are supportive of a good quality of life and that we will be inspired to pursue them individually, as we are ready, but I do not believe that it should be imposed on others. The Spirit will guide us individually in our own correct time to gently alter course and awaken Christ.


I was a sincere, deep student of Christianity in my youth and young adulthood. I became a Mormon at twenty -seven and remained active for thirty-one years. I have currently been a student of A Course In Miracles (ACIM) for around four years. (I feel that I need to state here that I have not studied ACIM through other venues or opinions but through the lens of the Christian –Biblical and Mormon– scriptures that I had studied regularly for over thirty-five years.) I have also studied other faiths and philosophies.

There was a time I thought we had no reality and that we were just an hallucination of Christ, but these verses from ACIM tell me that the personal identity we have is real and preserved as a thought of Christ, which is part of the extension of God that began as Christ was created. It is just what is false that will be removed.

ACIM Text Ch5, IV, 8:2 “All your past except its beauty is gone, and nothing is left but a blessing. 3 I have saved all your kindnesses and every loving thought you ever had. 4 I have purified them from the errors that hid your light, and kept them for you in your own perfect radiance. 5 They are beyond destruction and beyond guilt. 6 They came from the Holy Spirit within you, and we know what God creates is eternal.”

While I study all that I can, I do not accept everything as I am in the process. I wait for the witness of the Spirit. It has taken me years to recognize Him in my mind and heart. Now when He confirms or speaks I do not doubt or hesitate. If I ask for confirmation He is willing to give it. I have found sometimes I need to wait for that confirmation and walk in faith being very observant along the way.

On my third time through ACIM I am currently reading about how we are to overlook errors or not see them and in so doing we are doing as the Spirit does and that is bizarre to me. I have long faced this accusation. How dare I acknowledge something is not right! I must be judging them or it!

Yeah, I agree, I judge. I have to judge (decide) if I am awake or not before I get out of bed! And everything that I do thereafter requires judgment. I judge all the time and plan to continue to do so as a conscious being. That judgment helps me decide how I choose to act and think about what I perceive at the moment. It is not something that needs to be locked in stone but it gives me a basis from which to grow and I claim it as a right in being alive.

I suspect that the council to not judge is so that we do not shut down our communication with the Spirit as we walk through this world. We need to be open to the whisperings of the Spirit who can see and hear and remember what we cannot. With this guidance we are able to walk in confidence no matter what the circumstances bring us.

I do not agree with something that Jesus said to Helen in ACIM about overlooking error and not seeing it as is found in ACIM Text Chapter 9, III and IV. I personally believe it was translated incorrectly, Or perhaps my understanding of reading it this time is in err. It seems to suggest that we can meerly overlook errors in our life. This is sheer nonsense.

What we are being asked to do is recognize that Christ made an error when He thought he had separated from God. This leaves us free to forgive all that we perceive in this sphere of dense darkness and gives us room to address what appears to be harmful without judgment on the person from whom it is coming.

In other words, we forgive all before any offense has ever occurred. I do believe that this is the way that babies come into the earth and explains their seeming resilience and ability to bounce back from things. It is not because it does not hurt them but because they know that what they have experienced has no real meaning, intent, or validation on their identity as part of the whole that is loved.

Something that really confuses us here on earth is the linear appearance of things and the seeming appearance of separation being the only means of individual identity. In the concept of wholeness, without time or space there is no concern of identity.

Those who have been channeled are cognoscente of their presence in all places and dimensions and yet are able to maintain their identity with us as they desire and place their focus. (Now, I do know that there are charlatans out there. I also believe there are true teachings to be found. This is one place the guidance of the Spirit comes in so strongly. As it does in all communication from my experience.)

What has been removed from our awareness of our full capacities here on earth was agreed to because of the value that would be found in doing so. I have always needed the Spirit to translate and guide me in all I do. If I do this I do not fall, when I do not listen to that still small voice, I bump my nose, one way or another.

It is my desire to raise a banner of a different perspective on life that will allow us the ability to enjoy one another and embrace the glory that is part of being of God instead of needing pills to calm our inner voice that screams something is not right here.


One thing I have struggled with in writing this book were the attitudes around me that “no one cares”, “its impossible so why bother”, or “nothing is going to change even if you find the answers”. An awareness of the Divine/Universe/Source/God/Heavenly Father/Chi/Spirit/Energy or whatever you want to call it, that claims that we are progressing and urges us onward is vital in our evolution. ACIM says if only one gets it the tide will shift and I am willing to do my part.

As I reflect on the state of the world as it has developed over the past fifty plus years it is easy to see Divine Intervention at work among the children of men even while allowing humankind to develop at their own pace and persuasion.

While preparing this book I was led to delve deeply into the works of Abraham Hicks, author of The Law of Attraction. This influence can be felt and seen everywhere and is a continuation of the concept of what goes around comes around and Karma, as noted previously. With the adjustment of forgiving the saboteur of our peace here on earth, in other words, by forgiving the erroneous judgment of unworthiness Christ imposed on His creations due to believing He had left the presence of God, we will find a way to communicate freely and manifest that stockpile we have all built up in the Vortex of what it is we do desire.

In summary: The fourth card in the reading is the counsel from ascended masters, angels, and guides; including Jesus and Christ.
The Mystery, unknowable with our veil of flesh, in its complexity and fullness. Holding sacred the true power and potential of all that is, individually or collectively.
The Mystery reminds us of that sacred space where creation and intention are in the process of becoming manifest.

You are each a part of the web of life, weaving in and out of each others lives, consciousness and sub-consciously, creating the identity of the Son of God. Your experiences, and responses to them, create the sacred place where all that is has not as yet manifested. As a being of God you are a creator. Each of us, with all others are creating a most incredible future for the whole. This you may rely on.

Even if it looks like you are going backwards or that humankind as a whole is, nothing could be further from the truth. We are in a divinely created dream state, given to the Son for the purpose of remembering who He Is and the Love of His Father. To embrace the oneness we share with God is our inheritance. Reach inside for the remembrance of your divine nature and for the faith that will support you in an upward spiral of understanding and guidance.

Posted in Learning To Fly | Leave a comment


Chapter Three

A well-thought-out strategy is worth the effort.
The Wind Faery: Thoughts, Words, Intellectual Analysis
The third card in the reading is representative of the Whole Christ Ego/Consciousness.

One of the key things I went to the San Diego conference for was to find support or like-minded thinkers. Those who care about the condition of humanity and who might help me establish a board for a non-profit organization. This organization would consider how humanity Christ is the common enemy were understood and corrected.

I just could not get into a comfortable place with anyone. Perhaps it was I who was not ready.

Christ is the creator of this false world; begun at His creation in that micro-second He thought He had separated from His Father. From there all forms of “Thought-Separation” began and were created in spiritual form, to be acted out in a greater fictional fashion, through the material world. This material world simply being a place of “Thought-Darkness”, if you will, where the density of self-deceit is most embraced. There would be so many things to consider and reflect on.

The way we think about who we are is what is responsible for the challenges that we face. Time has devised many forms of understanding the chaos we live in. I do not believe that we have taken the many sacred teachings to heart that teach love and forgiven of ourselves and one another. It only takes one. Jesus began it, but even He was focused on local, definitive issues, not the whole prerogative of mankind. And He really was not allowed to speak after he was put on the cross. Not from a place still in the flesh.

Today our world is global. We can be aware of so many at the same time. The diversity of illusion and confusion has no end. We cannot find peace in this world only by reconciling what is here. We must be willing to reach out beyond ourselves and our traditions and circumstances and embrace the Whole Christ. None can be omitted or the cause has been compromised. No past errors, views of insurmountable differences, lusts, or blame will allow this to manifest.

We each have within us the ability to set Christ free and give Him back His kingdom; where His true will is manifest as a cooperative whole. This would alter all of our primary social functions, if not everything about life as we know it; i.e. schooling, parenting, commerce, business, etc.

I am not suggesting an organization to lay out rules and regulations or one that would define behaviors or teach us what to do or how to think. There are plenty of those upon the earth right now. It would be a small group to begin a visualization of possibilities and the potential differences in our society if we de-regulate and embrace the Beloved Christ in each of us.

I did not get out my business cards, nor did I really talk to anyone about my foundation. I guess in some ways I froze, didn’t I? “Who wants to talk about Christ? No one will let me.” That was the mentality I was in and that is who I brought into my circle of influence. When I left the conference I had a sore throat and was not feeling well at all. I thought it was because of all the yelling that we had done.

In Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life, she says that sore throats indicate that you are “Holding in angry words. Feeling unable to express the self”. I would have to admit that this is where I was. And who had created the challenge? Me! I was thinking it was everyone else, but I can see now that I fabricated that trapped feeling for myself. I need to find a way to turn this around. Louise’s recommendation is to use the affirmation. “I release all restrictions, and I am free to be me.”


Thoughts create the reality we will experience. And yes, we came into the world with thoughts. We created this in its entirety spiritually before it became physical. It was the thought of The Son that fabricated all that we are able to experience today. Why do I say fabricated? Because this thought was with doubt and lack of understanding. We were spun into a state of time to allow us to correct the illusion, to correct the thought that He had separated from God.

True creation does not have the ability to corrode and decay, as this life is prone to do, it simply holds its truth of being. We have the opportunity to become true creators as we become children. A Course In Miracles states it is a gentler dream that we are leading Christ into. Like we used to do in kindergarten, let’s pretend, and give ourselves a happy forever.

Christ is the brain at the center of the “Matrix” because it is He who sleeps or dreams the nightmare of having separated from God. Christ as a Whole was freed instantaneously at His creation. It is those He created or the many parts of Him, that received His doubt in our psychological make-up that need to turn this all around.

The doubt is the part of Christ that will live in us until we practice complete forgiveness and gratitude. I am not talking about just forgiving each other or ourselves, but forgiving Christ for having had the thought of separation in the first place.

The concept of separation is without meaning, as is all the painful trauma that has evolved since. It is a dream from which we will awake. Even though it will not be complete until all recognize this truth, we can shorten the pain and suffering in time. When all accept their place in the Whole. Christ will fully return or be restored to His rightful place in our complete United-Consciousness.

Belief in separation is what will self-sabotage all of the self-talk work, Law of Attraction work, prayer, fasting and planning for peace, that we do. Nothing is separate from God. He is omnipotent. He is ALL there is.

If Christ is the brain of the “Matrix”, then ego is “Mr Smith”, the protaganist, and his counterparts. The ego makes sure that Christ’s belief that he’d separated from God and deserved to die is protected and preserved.

The ego is what self-sabotaged me at the seminar. The ego that said what I had to share would not be accepted here or anywhere. Or maybe it was the ego that just demanded that it be done in my time and my way?!

All communication is double meaning and self-destructive because it holds us accountable to the idea of separateness. Everything that is in this fabricated space and time we live in has the DNA of death and annihilation with the human ego as the defender of the fabrication.

I believe the ego is also the restorer of truth and “the awakener” of Christ to His to place in God’s Love. I believe the ego may be calmed and tamed. The ability to analyse and think about one’s thoughts and words and their potential impact and influence is critical to calming the ego and giving each of us our true purpose or goal and that is to awaken Christ to the love of His Father.


I just watched Postcards From the Edge from the semi-autobiographical novel by Carrie Fisher. I also watched a short YouTube interview with Carrie, where she claimed the movie did not reflect her relationship with her mother and yet, I sensed that at different points the energy was there or at least felt by others, even if the two of them did not acknowledge it. I especially liked the phrase “war buddies”, it really seems to fit what I am talking about in this fabrication that we live. Why are we willing to settle for war buddies as humanity’s peak example of unitedness?

Being talked over and discounted as a human by nearly everyone is so real in this world. Pride and Prejudice showed us a similar reality. How odd it is to be having a conversation with someone and know that they are having quite the discussion and have no need or desire for input from you at all. This is very typical in human conversation that I have observed, at least once we have grown up enough to define the protocol of our reality.

Children on the playground are still very much prey to bullies because they have not gotten those “social” skills yet. Bullying is seen creeping into older ages now with greater force as high-level autism is acknowledged and awareness of “social skill” blocks are seen. Words hurt or heal for they come from the heart and reflect fabrication or light. This is not something that affects only one age or culture or any other singular type of being.

We seem to have so many places to put blame and fault, but we rarely look at the true source of our existence here. I believe the source is where we will find both the cause of the disease and the cure. Abraham Hicks speaks of Source and I like that. If I understood correctly, they did it to not encourage our automatic assumptions when we think of God.

Do not throw Him altogether though, please. Agnostics and atheists, I suggest it is only the idea of putting a personality to God that agrivates your sensitivities and I can truly appreciate that. Pronouns have been the  baine (archaic; something, typically poison, that causes death) of humanity in knowing themselves.

A friend said, “My story would have to be one of faith. I discovered I was my own worst enemy. I had to give it all over to God.” Doesn’t that make sense? I would add that we are able to see that God, meaning Christ, in the doubting mind gave us the ability to appear to fall or fail, and when we look to Him in faith and see Him in ourselves, we will have the capacity to choose to receive the Love of the Father of Christ and claim Christ’s innocence and perfection.

Perfection does not mean that we will not make mistakes or not have the ability to grow. We will make mistakes and we do have the ability to grow into the light of awareness that we are, in fact, The Christ, The literal Son of God, worthy of all the benefits and blessings that The Father would pour out on Us/His Son.


One of the significant things that I learned on my west coast trip was that there are people who are willing to help. We often just need to ask for it and then we need to let them do so. Indeed, the trip would have been impossible if this had not been the case.

I was relying on OnStar to get me from my hotel to the five-star hotel where the seminar was being held. Being anxious to get on the road I drove out before I had gotten a proper connection to OnStar. I decided to turn around in one of the parking lots of another hotel and expected I would be connected momentarily. There were still issues with the signal from the vehicle and since the turn on to the highway was just ahead I felt I needed to turn again to get time to be connected.

It just so happened that I did not turn into a parking lot this time but onto a pavement that led to a gated empty lot. It was strewn with various small pieces of debris which probably also consisted of the nail or screw or whatever it was that gave me a flat tire by the time I had truly gotten on to the highway.

Thankfully, I was able to pull over to an exit, however, the traffic there is continual and this was still early morning so it was constant. I connected with OnStar and they called for assistance from highway help and also called a person to change my tire. The exit I had pulled over to had a curb on it so I could only get over so far.

The person who works with the police on highway emergencies was the first to arrive. He said that this was a very dangerous spot to change a tire and the tire that needed to be changed just happened to be the one on my driver’s side and the person changing the tire would be exposed to the on-coming traffic.

He made a call and confirmed with his supervisors that he could wait for the person who was to change the tire so that he could alert the traffic to the situation and help prevent a further tragedy with this incident. Everything was managed quickly and I was soon on the road to my seminar with a grateful heart.

I believe that there were many helpers in this situation. Both seen and those not seen. I believe the timing of all that occurred was so that I could have this undeniable experience. I received a personal witness that there were those, among the seen and the not seen, that would come to my assistance if I sent out the request. And this with no questions asked about my religion, sexual persuasion, education, financial resources, or any of the other demographics that mankind has come up with to categorize and separate us. These were people on a job, yes. They had an agreed on service attitude that I believe we would have if we understood who we are.

Children can be taught of the Oneness, without losing their identity and uniqueness that we so need as a society to be productive and growing. This would be the creation, a choice to walk in the light, and not fabrication and manipulation. Today we teach our children that to unite is to become blind followers of nonsensical behaviors, thus movies like The Lottery are shown to my third-grade class where a son and father are willing to stone their mother and wife to ensure a good of the harvest. This, to me, is heartbreaking.

I choose to really see my experiences and take them to be personal education from Spirit. This is really all that I want to see anymore; His instruction. I do not see people and circumstances that I can judge against my set of standards, but silhouettes of teaching opportunities for me to understand what life could really be if we lived it as God intended.

I live knowing that there are no coincidences. There are no wasted happenings in God, nor in the Whole Christ. I also know that I matter to Him and that He will allow those things to be in my life that will get my attention to the things that I am so desperately trying to learn and understand.

When we decide to work as a whole for the individual of the self (Christ) that we are, we will be able to have each other’s back and forget our differences. We will rejoice and embrace differences in food, looks, talents as a witness of our own life and vitality; instead of our guilt, shame, stupidity, and unworthiness.


Divide and conquer. What do we divide? How do we divide? By our thoughts, by being elitist. This is always the way. I believe that we would do well to teach the children and ourselves to believe the divine is talking to us, individually and collectively, through the experiences we are each having. Even if we do not teach it, I believe it is so and many faiths would uphold this belief.

By age eight and nine we are taught to fear all the world and give up our divinity and power. It is the age of baptism for Mormons and when the reptilian brain has completed its formation. It is said that this is when the dark side can have an effect on the child whereas before this age they are innocent. Those who educate us know the change that takes place. This is when the human being puts itself at the mercy of the laws of the ego and no longer relaxed in the trust that they are taken care of by a higher power.

My third-grade class was shown The Lottery in third grade, as I mentioned. This taught me that a child and husband could stone a wife and mother and consider it commonplace or a blessing. We do not have to destroy the family to have unity in a community. Yet that is what we have been trying to teach for some time.

That is really propaganda teaching, isn’t it? Here in our “free” Western society. Capitalism and the educated take it upon themselves to decide for us what is acceptable. Prayer is not allowed in school because there is already a religion and train of thought that is being taught. Prayer would individualize and empower the student, as well as unify him in reaching out to something higher than himself for the benefit of all.

Capitalism, as we have it today, needs us to consider only appeasing the body and its senses. This makes us willing to work on behalf of the gain of the producers of products and services that they have taught us we need. In fact, we go to college to learn to create the need for the people to purchase a product they would not have before. Makes you wonder how or why the water got so polluted, doesn’t it? How far will we go to create the need?

As free as we think that we are, what we are is very subjected to the whim and will of those with the power, money, and influence to feed their propaganda to us so that we fill their insatiable ego addictions of power, money, and influence. Yes, I will acknowledge that there seems to be freedom of thinking, but this is carefully watched and monitored so it is given just enough credibility to not bring us out of our stupor of controlled biases and manipulations.

I am not saying “Yay” capitalism or “Yay” socialism. What I am saying is, I believe it is possible to unite in this sphere with a common enemy and in recognizing that enemy and setting him free we will be able to free ourselves from self-induced oppressions that we are. Bear in mind, this is more than just a blending of two ideas it is a relinquishing of each and creating a new perspective that sees each part as a whole and the whole as each of its parts.

Recently, a child who was to turn nine in four days told me she feels sorry for her fourteen-year-old cousin because if they do not get enough people to go to war they could draw names for it and he might have to go to war. Sadly, she started the conversation with, “We are going to war.” I told her that is why I do the work that I do so that someday, maybe we will not have wars. I believe that is a possibility. I truly do! This is what my faith in God and in mankind gives me.

Where was the sense of connection in the people who heard the woman in New York yelling as she pounded on door after door, stabbed twenty-one or so times, while they heard her yelling for help and yet no one came to her aid or even called the police? Where was the sense of community to help calm the toddler in the boy’s arms as he was taken from the mall before his child-kidnapper placed him on the railroad tracks? We can change these circumstances if we will recognize what happens to one happens to all, to me.

There are heroes who stayed in freezing water to see that others got out when the plane crashed, not to mention the many who gave their all to save so many from the Holocaust or other atrocities, like the genocide in Rwanda. Yet, everyday bullies are observed and not responded to because we have built a society of separateness that puts us at the mercy of the bully if we do not keep our mouths shut.

Each one of these persons is me. Each of these persons, in each scenario, is part of the body of Christ and thus a part of me. What can I do to honor them, bless them, show them they are of God? Do I remember their trauma? Do I lock them into forgetfulness or hold their trauma up for all to see? Is this how I flood them with God’s love? Why not lay the blame where it belongs? At the feet of Christ; The Father of this World. The creator of all things sour, shameful, sorrowful, destructive, unworthy, and false. Then, and only then will I be able to see how silly this all is, how futile and nonsensical, quite like the place Alice in Wonderland visited. An impossibility really, except in the delusional nightmares of a god.


The evening, on the final day of the event I attended, saw the horror of the shooting at the Los Vegas concert. The highways of Los Vegas were very different when I came back to the Midwest, the Strip was closed. The huge neon signs posted condolences to the family and thanks to the EMT’s. I would like to acknowledge the devastation of it, especially to the families and the surrounding communities. I offer my condolences to the families and the world at large. I want to review some of the coverage of the event, but not the news. I want to discuss some of the changelings that were done.

I have been a fan of Erik and follower of Channeling Erik for some time now. I read the first five years of archives and watched several of her videos. I have reviewed the first interview with Jesus, in which Quinton Crisp also was present, several times now and still learn more each time I view it.

I must say that I find Dr Medhus’ ease with highly emotional and sometimes very sensitive issues to be startling but overall I respect that she is doing is what she feels is best for herself, her son, and the world at large really. I have gained a lot of insight from ChannelingErik and this is where I really had confirmation that we will not be given answers that we are not willing to receive, no matter how directly we ask the question, as pertains to the human condition and where it is going. We simply will not hear it. (I have two books planned on the topic or Channeling Erik and feel Eric saying, “Let’s get with it then! Ha, ha!)

When I saw that Dr Medhus, Erik’s mother, interviewed the person responsible for the Los Vegas shootings, I felt impressed to watch it. Her video has over 89,000 views as of the 17th of July 2018. She said that she did the interview on the anniversary of the day her son took his life so it had special meaning to her, I suspect.

She is a very courageous mother and still incredibly wounded. I admire her greatly and owe her a debt of gratitude for it was her site that comforted me to some degree when I lost my daughter and I do believe that it was my daughter and Erik that brought me to her site.

Before I review this let me add that what we consider to be difficult and challenging in this life may be what God, The Father, is allowing us to seem to experience so that we may put away into escrow (or a reserve, as taught in the Law of Attraction concepts) that which we truly desire. We will, when we are ready, have all that we have longed for and “learned” to value from our walk here in the illusion.

This is in line with the idea that we have a loving and benevolent Father, meaning the Father of Christ and nothing is wasted or in vain.
Dr. Medhus’ interview was aired on the tenth of October 2017. I viewed it on the second of November. Erik and the medium both said that they were willing to do the interview because it would bring information that would be educational. Education brings enlightenment to those who are willing to incorporate a broader perspective. I know that what I heard gave greater meaning to my work and added an urgency to it for me when he said that this was done to bring attention to mental illness.

A Course In Miracles says that we are functioning in an insane reality with the ego and as such we are going to be walking, living, and rearing our families among those who are mentally ill. I have seen first hand on numerous occasions what occurs in facilities for mental health and I do not believe that we do have this taken care of.

We treat mental illness as we do unruly children and give out drugs if distracting practices do not work. We are all in a state of just surviving. No one is to blame it is just the state of affairs of the world.

You cannot correct a situation until you are willing to address the core of the problem. This is a simple reality seen in repentance or change of any form. Nothing will change until the reality of “what is” is recognized and not excused or brushed aside as inconsequential. Justification is not a viable excuse either. Mankind needs and deserves to have another answer. They need a scapegoat.

They have one and I am telling you that it is Christ. He was set up in the very beginning by His Father, for He is the instigator of this that we call life. He is the Savior, because it is His hallucinatory state that has bought us to this position. I say this with great reverence and respect. He is also the creator of our eternal “beingness” making us creators like unto himself and his Father.

This is what Jesus, Buddha, and so many others have been trying to get us to understand. If we hold on to this life and its insanity there will not be resolution and God will not intervene because He knows it is just a nightmare that His Son will wake up from someday, but for you and me it is very real and devastating and we do not have to continue in it if we are willing to wake up to where we are and who we truly are as saviors one to another and unto Christ, as a Whole. The choice to move beyond this cycle of suffering is ours to make.


There are so many things that I could address about this interview. What I wish to focus on is his statement that the timing was key to what he did and that he wanted to give attention to mental illness. Also, that our children are not raised on love or in an awareness of love or connection and that this will continue to lead to more and more violent outbursts and loss of life, not to mention the simple loss of spirit and joy that man should be embracing in this place we see as life.

For me the timing was powerful as it was the night of the final day of our seminar. Also, I would pass through their midway on my journey home. As I said, I do not see anything as coincidental or wasted. Every such outburst causes my innards to scream “Tell them what you know!”.

This world of confusion will not resolve mental illness. It is like the MLM (multi-level marketing and the chain letter. The best it can give us is a place where very few will “hit the jackpot”, many more will be strung along on the hope of winning and others will just not try.

There are answers and hope as we move out of this existence and create a new one where we know that we are one entity and we live and thrive in that knowledge. What happens to one, perceptually or actually, effects the whole and is, in fact, experienced by the whole.

Each of us has the ability to consider these things logically, realistically, and yes, with faith and hope in the possibility, mind you, only the possibility is required…that humankind is worthy of God’s Love as the Son of God.


There are a lot of philosophies that teach that the way to get along in the world is detachment. Detachment is a good thing, but you want to detach from the right things, without losing your connection to the Whole; where love, peace, and joy are found. What do we want to detach from? From false beliefs, such as, that we can push people away or get them out of our lives and be untouched by them or their influence.

For instance, here is a list ten toxic people from an online article that claims they should be avoided at all costs:

The Arrogant

The Judgmental

The Twisted = out to hurt

The Dementor = highly negative

The Manipulator

The Envious

The Self-absorbed

The Victim

The Temperamental=no control over emotions, they project, use you as an “emotional toilet”

The Gossips

The article claims that “their behavior is irrational and goes against reason”. I am afraid this sums up humanity as a whole as it stands today and quite frankly, it is impossible for a part to remove itself from the whole, except in a delusional or unreal way. Now, am I saying that I want all these behaviors and their effects? No, I am just saying we need to take responsibility for them and figure out what is at the core of this dichotomy.

Keep yourself safe, while understanding that safety begins in our minds with the understanding that they are just mistaken and their behavior is a cry for help. They have forgotten they are part of the Whole and its abundance.

Debbie Ford teaches us to embrace our dark side. If we are One, then we need to embrace those we think are on the dark side and seek to understand the need they have to overtly harm others. Because make no mistake, we all harm ourselves whether we know it or not. We are all on earth to harm ourselves and each other. That was our primary assignment from Christ originally, to prove he had offended God.

We have within us the ability to turn this around to where the pain will eventually evaporate and only the beauty of God’s love will remain.

There are many other beliefs that we need to question. At the core, the question we want to ask is “Does this draw us together as a whole or does it separate, segregate, and attempt to annihilate, shun, or humiliate others or ourselves?”.


Even though we have logic and the simplicity of creation before we choose the strife, guilt, shame, haves, and have-nots, etc. magnifying the separation. Can we not see that either someone has played a cruel joke, or that God’s Love is real and, this is a dream from which we may awaken?

The lost and lonely part of us that feels separated from all that is and ever was is an illusion we can let go of, no matter what things look like right now. Finding a place where we can truly be and be ourselves may seem insurmountable. We must stop protecting the illusion. We must stop defending it and creating our interpretation of a world around it.

The Law of Attraction teaches that these hardships are putting in escrow the opposite. It is building a place where we have, purpose, belonging, and complete love and acceptance. While the memory of the confusion that Christ had at His creation remains unforgiven and forgotten within us we cannot receive all that God wants to bless us with. It is a part of ourselves that needs acknowledgment and forgiveness before we can truly manifest the glory that is our heritage and stop the circle of death we have given ourselves. We can do this one by one!

In summary:

The third card in the reading is representative of the ego of the Whole Christ Ego/Consciousness. In other words, how the reading may affect the Whole.

The Wind Faery has to do with thoughts, words, and intellectual analysis. This is so appropriate for the world where we use communication to literally manifest the fabrication that we live in. My goal is to offer another way to look at what we have been given.

Are we empowering with our thoughts and our words or are we destroying? Most of humanity has the ability to think things through. Are we supporting steps and causes that unite or that separate? As a united consciousness, we can bring about whatever we want.

It is important too, that we believe in ourselves because it will help us believe in others.

How is the mind of society focused? Is drama, mayhem, terrorism, and fear the only thing that mankind can come up with?! We can come up with another way! Jesus said a man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceedeth out from the mouth of God. And guess what! That is you and me!

When love is truly manifested in the world we will recognize who we are and we will see others in their true form, as well as seeing the costumes or roles they choose to play for Christ as he delusions about what it might be like to be separate from God. We will be able to speak openly of things that hurt so that we may bring it into the light and be absolved in the Truth.

This key is actually very obviously taught within what is commonly understood as Christian doctrine as well as many other religions and philosophies, including our new age spirituality.

At the same time it is obscure because we have fallen under the hypnotic suggestion that we are soiled, separate, and no longer worthy of God’s Love. It is as though something has been hidden in plain sight.

It is important to remember that we are all in the process of learning. To not recognize that each of us lives in our own world, manifested by how we choose to look at the world is to do ourselves and each other a great disservice. I would suggest that the words on the card (independence and healthy boundaries) suggest that everyone, wherever they are in their understanding of life may be just where they need to be.

That is really hard to take, especially when we are aware of things like the Las Vegas shooting that occurred on October first of this year (2017). It really demands looking at the big picture to feel at peace with this.

We have to stop this hamster wheel. We have the power and ability to fabricate anything we can dream of. Let’s make it something awesome, with abundance for all, instead of stifling and fit for only a few. To borrow a metaphor from Jesus; is it possible for us to feed only our hand and not our foot as we seek to nourish the Whole?

Let’s break down the walls of separation and segregation, the haves and have-nots. Let’s open our minds and lay down our weapons and build a new world, a new kingdom of prosperity, joy, and redemption for all. Let us turn our minds to Christ, forgive Him the transgression that brought suffering and separation into the world. And praise God for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!

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Chapter Two

Soar above life and look at the big picture.
The Eagle; Spirit, Integrity, Connection to the Angelic Realm
The second card in the reading is representative of the ego of the one being read for.

So this chapter is going to be about me. I know that speaking about yourself is not the appropriate thing to do in current writing protocols but I am going to not let that keep me from my objective here. And let me state that my view of myself is altering daily. It is odd and yet it seems natural and truer somehow.
I find myself saying “Wow” as I read the cards because they surprise me. I do place my faith in them, inasmuch as I interpret them correctly. I am fairly new at this, but I hope that the “Wow” never leaves, because it is like a charge to my spirit that says “Yes, you are connected to something much bigger than the body you see in the mirror before you”.
The eagle was one of the first cards that I ever saw in this deck and it struck a cord in me that was significant. It came along with the bee and the bee has significance to me; as my name is Debra and its meaning is the bee, with its origin in Israel and Hebrew. Both cards were in my first reading and just touched my heart somehow.
I do feel that I am working with assistance that is unseen. There are many who are helping me put this together. I feel them in different ways at different times. I have a sense of my other “selves”, be they my personal past lives or the witness of the oneness that I have will all that is, or angels and guides, I do not know. I do know that this person in this flesh is not able to claim full authorship to this work. “With the eagle’s help and guidance, you can soar above life to see the larger vista.” This has been vital for me to do the work that I have come here to do and I believe this requires divine help.
With my opportunity to see the states I was once again reminded of the personality traits that come with the different geographical environments that we are raised in. It is like a certain energy is projected onto us from the very ground around us. The mountains make us hearty and daring. The snow and cold make us sturdy and preparers. The ocean makes us in awe of life and willing to live it come what may. These are some of the environments that I have lived in and the attributes of the local culture I have observed.
On returning from California I found some of the fun and courage to step out in life stirred in my soul and I wore hoop earrings for the first time. Little things that can give us a sense of identity and definition. The intention of my writing is not for fortune or fame. I suspect those also come with their share of challenges. The world has taken relationship after relationship from parent to partner from me many times over. I find little comfort in people relationships anymore and know them to be prone to self-destruction, even the seemingly kindest. At the same time, I do bask in the delight of human comforts (safety, shelter, food, etc) and pleasures and consider nature to be a keen source of comfort and strength.
Growing up I had faith and hope that someone or some society out there had a clue what they were talking about and could give me some answers that made sense and worked for everyone. I have yet to find that person or society. That does not mean I have given up on society. My writing should testify of that. When I feel that no one will care about what I have to share I remember that God believes in humanity and its ability to heal, in its own good time.
It seems when humanity comes in the circle it seems I must give up some sense of my own being to participate. Often I am asked to give up my need for fairness and treating others with kindness because people like to find someone in their life that they can project their unhappiness onto. This is very difficult to deal with for an empath, like me, who feels the hurt and rejection that others receive, as well as my own.
I grew up with fair skin and, though my freckles got me teased as a child, in America where I have lived I have been among the privileged. Sometimes, just the overlooked but I have gotten by. I have usually been able to get the job or education that I wanted. Even with that, there is a sense of the glass fun house, because no one has any real guidance or answers for another person that does not lend to taking away our spirit or personal integrity. (And for those who do not agree and think there is peace here but not there, you are living in a fabrication of denial for we are all privy to the same energy system. one lost is all lost. I speak not from me, my ego, but for those who would hold us up to see over the horizon into a better place psychologically.)
I have to say that trying to form words for the context of what I am understanding is difficult. One because of the speed with which new ideas come to me and secondly because I find myself shifting my own perspective and coming out of the world. I find myself wanting to change my vocabulary, taking words and ideas out of my head, as well as, developing new words and symbolism for viewing the world.
Just for clarification let me state that I believe in God. Ops, I know; the book slammed shut, and end of discussion”. But let me clarify that living in this belief and living my life has allowed me to come back full circle to my infant state of mental realization that all the world is me and it was created for me to know myself and to screw me over so bad, that I would have to admit that I am the creator of it all. Well that is my long, and short, story anyway.
I will admit that it is difficult to define or explain what I want to say from a linear, spacial, separated delusional world, but that is what I have given myself and so I work with it. I accept the God that I am and while a small part of that awareness speaks of Him as beyond or outside myself I am finding more and more space in my heart and inner being to embrace Him as me and creator of this illusion.
My history of faith is Christian and I joined the Mormon’s when I was twenty-seven years old. I was active and diligent in my pursuit of repentance and understanding for over thirty years. They still hold a dear place in my heart but I have found their teachings stifling to my own spiritual growth. It is understandable for I believe they hold a significant place in the world to give balance to a very unstable human psyche. I have been a student of A Course In Miracles (ACIM) for four years as well.
In my early fifties, after my world had crashed in a blast of mass destruction, I wrote three adult books and four children’s books. They were the culmination of my understanding of the world at that time in my life. They are filled with the words of a seeker of truth from an LDS, Christian, by-the-book mentality, and written with great love and respect for my posterity and the world at large. I also did about four years of a radio show on scriptures and my review of life, shared to a great extent as I had home-taught my children. I have taken a few years sabbatical from that work as I digested the truths I found in ACIM.
I have attempted to find a church home or a people among whom I could work, study, serve, learn, and teach. But I have not been successful. I still have a great desire to serve and share God’s blessings with humanity. I will continue to do so as guided by the Spirit. Currently, I know that I must share what burns within me. I understand that doing so will make room for greater understanding and that brings me great joy, no matter the hardship or duration of this process.
I feel as if I exist in a place not quite on the earth, for here only sorrow and have and have-nots seem to exist. I like the place that I am in. It is not mystical or out-of-body per se. I have asked that I be able to give a testimony from a place of faith rather than visions or other “extra” phenomenon. That being said, I believe in all forms of manifestation, both physical and esoteric. I believe that this which we consider solid and stable as manifested by the five senses is a collectively agreed upon creation of the Son of God and all His diverse manifestations (thoughts/you and me). I do expect that more and more esoteric experiences are on the way to me.
This place I walk in is a place that Jesus and the Holy Spirit have given me to be able to be here with you and still gain understanding in that which is the truth while having the ability to share it with you. It has been given to me over a lifetime of developing a relationship with that which we know as the Godhead, being The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost, which I also see as One, even as You and I. As an Empath the pain that I feel in the world is way too great for me to carry and several years ago I gave it to the Holy Ghost to carry for me. He keeps me mindful of it without allowing it to overwhelm and crush me and my ability to serve humanity here and on the other side of the veil.
I believe in the yin and yang concept of this sphere and that in the latter days the second coming of Christ will be ignited by a female. It makes sense to me, as Jesus brought our attention to who we truly are, which is The Christ, and spoke to us about physical things such as the fact that there is no death. The woman would bring the psychological advancement and recognition that would move us into a more gentle existence and lifestyle toward ourselves and others. Her mantra will go to past generations and those yet to come, as well as include her own generation. Her mantra will be forgiveness and gratitude. I may or may not be that individual ego persona but I will give my all to it and pave the way for another if that need be.
Forgiveness and gratitude are the two components that will detonate the atomic bomb that Einstein was looking for when he was looking for the formula to make people fall in love. The difference that will give her words power is that she will bring Christ to the forefront of humanities attention in a way that he has never been there before. She will have the ability to get people to give Christ the focused attention of forgiveness and gratitude.
This will be a woman who has forgiven herself some of the saddest and offensive of sins to mankind, at least for her gender; she will forgive herself of sexual sin. Her testimony will be so strong and so simple that it will resonate with others. They will be drawn to her truth like a magnet. It will be unresistable because that which is in each of Christ’s creations will feel the impact of the truthfulness of her message. It may be well after my death that the results are seen but to put out the word is the first step.
Because of the pain and cries of humanity that she would experience as an empath, she would be lifted by the Spirit above societal norms. She would have to be intelligent without having been transfixed, addicted to, or mesmerized by the societal culture of clout, name, fame, education, or position. This would require time in the world to experience these things and develop strength through faith in that which is not seen here. It would require the strength of character and experience to understand what the world has to offer and choose something better.
She would have to be an individual who was intelligent and a self-starter. A basic requirement would be that she able to control her self-talk and understand the challenge that this may bring so that she would have compassion toward those she seeks to influence. It would have to take self-talk clearing well below a surface level. Affirmations, EFT, NLP all are available for her to change bad tapes developed in the youth and formative years.
She would be experienced in walking the walk of sacred teachings and willing to prove herself to meet this challenge. The muscles she would need to develop would be found in challenges of relationship, mental, emotional, and cultural, with an understanding of basic financial matters.
A Course In Miracles (ACIM), which I affectionately call “the blue book”, teaches if only one person gets the meaning of these teachings and lives it literally, they would not have to speak to anyone, but just by being in the world he would begin the catalyst that would transmit that ripple around the world and cause the shift that humanity is so desperately calling out for. I can do no less than to strive to be this individual. It would not be one true personality but lifetimes and multitudes of manifestations that have led to a point where the vortex lined up the types of experiences and witnesses that would create such an individual manifestation from Christ, under the direction of His eldest, Jesus.
To me, Jesus is my big brother and advocate with the Holy Spirit and Christ. I no longer consider him my advocate to The Father of Christ, who I call God, though he is the leader of the atonement. Jesus has indeed been my guide to remembering God, but my connection with The Father of Christ is unquestionable and complete even though I may have forgotten that for a time.
And yes, I still do occasionally, as I get caught up in the ego and forget my maker, though this happens on rarer occasions now. I do not feel as if I am my emotions or even that my actions or words need to confess this separation. This is because I do believe that I am on an ordained path that was determined before I got here, though I still have an influence on what comes to pass.
I am of God. There is nothing that alters that. It is so for all creation. We are all and each God. We are one with Him, as Jesus was and is. That which appears to be dark, or troublesome or contrast is simply part of the beautiful orchestration of the witness of God’s love for His Son and the fact that He will not wake him rudely. Every whim that he wishes to experience will be given to him through his manifestations, but they can do no harm to the only truth which is God’s love for him. All the angst, sorrow, and suffering that man believes he has endured is but his nightmare; his, to release to the witness of God’s love for His Son whom he is.
If there is still a question as to why I am reading cards now when my background is of Christian training and belief, I will attempt to explain. I feel it is pertinent to what I am trying to share. It was the death of my daughter, and the spiritual guidance I received before and after her death, that pulled me into a state of seeking that went beyond the Bible and The Book of Mormon. I was well-studied in both; thirty-five times with The Book of Mormon. I sensed there would be greater things that I would need to be aware of if I was to endure the next chapters of my life. Her death gave me the courage to step into that which I had thought of as fearful, and even dangerous, or yes, “Of the Devil”.
Near-death experiences, channelling and its possibilities, as well as advice from those beyond the veil, all of these came into my world, with a force, as I grappled with my daughter’s impending death and the aftermath. My daughter herself was close to that which is not seen and had interest for some time. I have felt her presence and guidance at times since her passing in these areas. It seems like she is saying, “Its ok mom, this will help you understand”.
I dabbled in astrology occasionally for fun because it was a big thing for the family I still kept in touch with. My concern for it was not the validity, but the ability to really understand it, because I do see it as a rather precise science. I was always a seeker of a better understanding of who and what I am and I felt no way qualified to say I had all the answers. The best I could leave my children would be an example of a seeker. Basically, I study and read as guided by the Spirit, and then I take it with a grain of salt and see what the Spirit teaches me as things unfold.
I had always felt that card reading and tea leaf reading of my aunts and grandmothers were somehow wrapped up in the superstition, chemical abuse, and incestual insanity of my place of earthly origin. Messages with double meanings were around me continually it seemed. As a teen, this help from “the other side” was something that I respected enough as truth that I stayed clear of, because I felt a dark side as well, that I wanted no part of. One of the first things I did after my daughter passed was to get a free numerology reading of myself and my children. I think my cousin put up the post on Facebook. The scriptures simply were not enough, I needed something else to chew on. I had faith, but I also needed to be actively growing and my heart knew what that felt like. To be given the scriptures only as others interpret them is stifling to me. If scriptures are real, and I do believe they are, then it means that God speaks to His Children and not just yesterday, today, as well! Through many venues!
The scriptures say you will grow in confidence and that was offensive to so many of my leaders in the church(es). I had to stay under an umbrella of the leadership. I did not fit there any longer. I needed more specific information and so I went to my roots; the cards that had been used by my great-grandmother and that my father misused when he told me my first marriage would end up in divorce after a card reading. This was not something that he had any business in and did not help in my relationship with him or my husband. So; maybe instinctively, may be guided by my daughter, maybe out of desperation to find something to hang on to that could shed a bit of light on the road ahead I looked for answers as I felt guided, by the Spirit and by the Lord.
It was not something I jumped into, but I went prayerfully. Waiting, sometimes months, for the Spirit to continue to say it was okay to check this out. Slow and steady; research and more research. Listen to the Spirit. One step at a time. I do this yet today as I have for many years.
Card reading is a tool with the ability to bring people or the consciousness of Christ together; the living yes, but even more so those that are unseen in this dimension. The cards open the doorway to an opportunity to hear our own voice and the divine within us. This is a huge part of what draws me to them. It is not the me of the ego, but me of the divine. If, I do it from a place of integrity, that is. There are those who will simply know how to work the system and how to use the emotions and appetites of the ego to build or crush others for personal gain. I will not discount a tool because another misuses it.
Basically, I believe, that the whole world and all that is given to me to be aware of, is for my learning, in perfect order and timing according to Heavenly Father’s plan. Therefore things like numerology, card reading, astrology, scripture study, fasting, energy work, study, pondering, prayer, and meditation, etc. tell the divine source and unseen helpers that I am willing to hear, feel, and listen to their guidance. Personally, I do this with Jesus as my chosen lead-companion, because I do feel that there are misguided and confused entities in the spirit world of the unseen, just as there are here in the headlines of the day that testify of the confusion and despair among the children of men. Again, these are all tools to allow me to discern truth from errand to function in an otherwise nonsensical world.
I watched Charlie St. Cloud recently. There is a quote from the film, “At some point, we have to let go”. I do not believe this. There is no letting go. That is the fabrication. We are one, not divided, separated entities. As a mother, I know this with everything I am.
“Why were you saved?”, is another quote from the show that strikes at my heart and gut very big. Why were you saved? Could I have been saved from an attempted suicide, when I felt incapable of giving my children what they needed in this insane world, in 1976 to bring forth what I am trying to bring?
I drew a card, just one (12 November 2017) to see if the angels would give me the answer. I drew the Four of Raphael. Seek other possibilities; something esoteric perhaps,

instead of the fairy tales of my youth and the lies of my adulthood? Look for the magic in life. Magic of a divine nature instead of the mirrors and whistles of so-called life on earth? Be aware of your own emotions. Something tells me YES, I was preserved and allowed to remain here because I would continue to seek the answer and not settle. I would get it and not fall away from fulfilling the measure of it and sending it out into the world.
What we live here tells us what we do not want for ourselves. When we find what offends us, it gives us the opportunity to understand that it is not so, it cannot be, and know that something else is at work.
In summary: The second card in the reading is representative of the ego of the one being read for.
The Eagle symbolizes spirit, integrity, and connection to the angelic realm.
The spiritual world is the real one – the physical world is the dream. The Eagle reminds us to be sure to make conscious contact with the divine, in other words, prayer, or if you are able and practised, communion where you live in the knowledge of the whisper of Spirit.
Choices made with the Eagle or with a view of the bigger picture (which Spirit holds), as you soar above the innuendo and social norms and historical protocol of the place of your mortal birth, are made with integrity. You want to honor your highest self, which is again held safe and sacred by Spirit.
This is how I choose to live my life. I could not ask for any better commendation for the work I feel I have been called to then to have the angels confirm that this is where I walk and where I need to keep myself. I must say it is a drive inside of me that I cannot stop for anyone or anything. I say this not to boast, but because it is my calling, my mission, my life’s purpose.
I no longer find myself getting hung up on exactness of action (i.e. being vegan or church attending) knowing what is right for me will come in time, but I do focus on keeping my mental state connected to the divine guidance of the Spirit because He knows the all about me and what is in my best interest and in the best interest of those I serve/love and will direct me accordingly.
Is it impudent of me to suggest that we each have this calling and must step into this role for ourselves and those we have stewardship over? I do not believe so, for the Sonship is many, not one individual, and more than that, it is the whole of us, each individual intelligence deciding for ourselves to accept the presence of the Love of God in our lives and in the lives of those around us.
When we accept the Love of God for ourselves we are able to witness it in the lives of others around us and offer absolute forgiveness for anything they may offer us that does not appear to encompass that Love.

Posted in Learning To Fly, SAVING CHRIST; ITS IN THE CARDS | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment


Chapter One

Live freely, the adventure is just beginning.
The Cat; Independent, Healthy Boundaries, Nine Lives
The first card in the reading would restate the question for the card reading, which was “How do I get my message out there and received”.

I had had a few months to wait once I signed up for my seminar. I was going to write a sixty page outline of what I wanted to share, but it never came together. Other things seemed to take presidence. I knew I was following the Spirit, not just procrastinating, so I had to let go and let God and those who knew the whole picture direct me. Even the twenty page outline did not manifest itself. However, when I did the reading of the cards on the twenty-seventh day of September in the year two thousand seventeen, I knew why. The book flashed itself before me and it was in a form that had the simplicity in which I could speak of the chaotic and deep issues that were in my heart.
Little did I recall the effort it takes to bring the material to print or the evolution that would occur inside of me in the writing of it. Now, in the process, I recall one of Brendon’s teachings. Don’t forget that just because you had the first victory and you conquered your fear to do whatever (for me it was writing my first books in my fifties); you will still need to put forth that same effort, and maybe more, with the birthing of your next project or step. I cannot remember if he used the analogy of birthing or not, but it is a very real thing to me as a woman and publishing ones thoughts in book form can emotionally feel like giving birth.
I know that someone can tell me a truth that I do not understand yet, and if I am not ready, I simply will not hear it. That is really worth repeating. I know that someone can tell me a truth that I do not understand yet, and, if I am not ready, I simply will not hear it. This happens even among those who consider themselves very open minded seekers. It is also the argument that can stop a conversation between two individuals very rapidly. Here is where faith and a basic confidence in what you believe in at this moment is important. Trust me, the Spirit is attentive to your heart and where you are at in the moment and what you are willing to receive.
Even dear Brendon made some goofs from my perspective, during the seminar when he made fun of, not once, but at least two times from stage, his wife’s cats. Maybe it is a comedian’s prerogative to criticize that which is very dear to the heart of someone they love, but I do think this is a protocol that should be avoided. It makes me shudder to think that he does not realize what he may be doing to his relationship when he “tricks” her onto the stage before 1,500 people. And to use one’s charisma, popularity, and name on the rental for the hall, to push one’s political agenda, seems tacky and disrespectful to me. “Have the courage to say the hard truths” was his counsel to us. I wonder if he considers his status on Oprah’s team and on the cover of Success Magazine to put him above reproach? I hope not, for I mean no offence.
It is important to remember that we are all in the process of learning, which to his credit, Brendon admitted to during the conference. At least it seemed like that just before he told us he ran some sort of four-day marathon for us and dipped himself in a painful ice tub to be able to do the four-day conference. Somehow that seems to raise him up and shoot us down if we do not follow suit or take his advice. Maybe it is just the way I heard it.
To not recognize that each of us lives in our own world, manifested by how we choose to look at the world, is to do ourselves and the world a great disservice. I would suggest that the words on the card (independence and healthy boundaries) suggest that everyone, wherever they are in their understanding of life, maybe just where they need to be. That can be really hard to take; especially when we are aware of things like the Las Vegas shooting that occurred on October first of this year (2017).
It really demands to look at the big picture to feel at peace with this. perhaps in direct relation to the question I asked on how to share my witness with the world, I need to remember to claim my witness as mine and establish healthy boundaries for those who would strike it down and perhaps even with those who would agree with or desire to join with me, because this is not something that we will be able to ride into on someone else’s testimony or coat tales with. We will each need to come to an understanding of it ourselves and, our relationship to each other, before we will be able to enter the kingdom….yep, you got it…drum roll….of heaven.
One thing that I am still finding a bit challenging, is determining if I am speaking from the ego fabricated frame of mind or from the one who dwells in the presence of God’s love, as I read the cards. That is why I broke it out into this five card spread*. (See Appendage A for the just the card reading itself.) I may get inspired to create something clearer as I walk this walk, but for now, I will need to work with this possible faulty foundation in mind. This is the situation in all communication except with Spirit. Or at least when we communicate, as if we are separate.
Is it possible to have independence and not be separate? Only when we acknowledge absolute wholeness, completeness, and (for this purpose), the perfection of ourselves individually, and that it comes because we are of God. I think the infancy stage of the body is a conjuncture of the ego. Part of the fabrication to create the illusion that we are separate beings and that we are somehow dependent on others; which, when you think about it, is actually the truth turned inside out. Our true wholeness encompasses all of creation. Nothing can be lacking because it is of God. He takes no emotional part in this realm, because it is a fabrication, yet we, even in our current nightmarish state, have Him within us.
I recall one time when I was home alone, I was rocking my baby, nursing my eldest daughter. I looked into her eyes with the desire to tell her that I would do my very best with my limited capacities. It was a mindset to speak to her of my heart and my insecurities. What I saw, in her eyes, shook me to the core. I knew that there was an intelligent being in that little body. One that had, at least as much knowledge as I did, and on reflection maybe more at that time. It was an alarming awareness which I continue to learn from.
Perhaps if I had had family support or structure I would not have had that private moment, when I was open to seeing who she really was, so that I could assess how best I could serve her. I do give thanks for that supposed lack in my life because she taught me incredible things; as have all my children and grandchildren, and that continues to today. She is no longer in the world of the flesh, and while I feel her presence, and my message is also for those in the dimension where she has consciousness, I reach for a higher place that is right here, or wherever we visualize ourselves to be. It is the preparatory place for being completely united once again, mind, body, and spirit, with God.
The question occurs to me today, why did I not see myself, as I saw my daughter? Having come into the world with an identity that did not need to be created by those to whom I was birthed or reared. Instead, I had created a monster self of labels that came from multitudes of caregivers, teachers, classmates, television shows, etc. I saw myself as “not enough” in a world of those who knew what I did not know. I truly lived a distinctive double standard, before the Spirit was able to teach me, of our similarities and completeness before God.
Our finite and linearly fabricated consciousnesses have difficulty understanding that which quantum physics teaches, but that does not eliminate its truth. So how do I tell the world this is just a fabrication? Especially when I live yet in the fabrication myself? This is where I feel that faith and Spirit help us individually to transcend this. All of us have access to our gut feelings, our instincts, our inspiration, and the voice of Spirit. It is quieted and not talked about in so many circles. Even where it is recognized we are still advised to close it down so that we meet the wishes of those in charge at the moment. How many organizations or churches do you belong to where you have seen this?
And how do I get heard above the addiction to Oprah, Ellen, Tony, Brendon, and so many others? There has been a great deal of tearing down of the icons and saviors, that people wish to live in the limelight of, so as not to be aware of their own light. Priests, football players, government officials have come crashing from their pedestals in the past several decades. Still, there is no end to the list of saviors that the world would look to, as a whole. Yet the vital teaching is to recognize that you are the savior, in your sphere, and by living that reality, you teach others that they are the saviors in their spheres of influence.
The mouths of the prophets have been closed. By this I mean individuals. You cannot go anywhere and speak an opinion without using the name of some movie, multi-millionaire, or publicly recognized personality, or you look the fool.
I wish to open minds, to the idea that this is the fabrication, and we each have the ability to heal the fabrication and step into a place of creating where heaven lies, right here in the flesh. This is not unlike what Abraham Hicks has been teaching with the Law of Attraction for a few decades now. I want to take that concept even further, and focus it on bringing in the shift that has been prophesied in so many faiths.
While living in the fabrication we will have to accept the present conditions and vernacular, or manner of speaking and relating, that the truth may be realized in a gradual sense. Even while knowing that gradual, is a possibility only in the fabrication of time and space and division.
Here is where it gets a little touchy. Will we simply be absorbed into the mentality, essence, and presence of God, to lose entirely, our witness of human existence as the eastern religions seem to suggest? Or, will we recognize that He is of us and We are of Him and that We were created by the original Being, to manifest indefinitely for His/Her pleasure and Ours. I suspect that sharing the joy and experience is a delight even to God, or Source; which is the term Abraham Hicks uses.
About seven years ago, when I was first following Brendon Burchard, he spoke of being a self-proclaimed expert, and this was a fairly new attitude. It was part of the new reality we have been given through computers and other technology. Today there are webinars on every topic, free with good nuggets therein, as he (Brendon Burchard) taught us, and they are to get you to want to know more.
I do have to respect the way that our social consciousness behaves at this time. Specifically speaking to the need to have someone else tell us what we think and how we feel. In the past this has been seen in organized religion, though that is fading rapidly. In the recent past, as noted, we have followed sports stars or the latest movie craze or cartoon character; each of them teaching their own faith or philosophy. We follow those who have what we believe will bring us happiness be it fortune, fame, security, a sense of belonging, etc.
Those that have shared that sense of power that comes from “moving the energy in a room” or skills like Neuro-Linguistic Programming that give us an edge up on our “uneducated neighbor”, or computer skills to sell products and reap the rewards as people pass through your specific cyber “tole” way. We are still functioning in a very dog eat dog kind of world, for as haves and have-nots is still the way we choose to see ourselves. We are set to leave that, and worse, to our children. And ourselves, if you, as I do, believe in reincarnation.
Humans are addicted creatures in this state of fabrication. Their ego existence relies on it. Addiction to that which seems to provide strength in the fabrication, or addiction that seems to destroy that which we have been given or created in this fabrication; either way it is false and not lasting. Addiction, of any sort, only leads to a craving for more, until it washes away our common sense. We see this in our public representatives and icons more and more. Eventually, we are left with our faults glaring openly before the masses and yet, as a mass (or should I say “mob”) we are willing to forgive them because they had the voice that gave us so much; the voice that fed our yearning for recognition and superiority.
Jesus and Hitler used this technique, although Jesus’ audience was not as big at the time. These things are still what humanity wants to glamorize and follow. In ACIM Jesus says that a good teacher, a true teacher, wants the student to outgrow them. When instead we feed the ego or the fabrication there is no satiation of the addiction to the power that teaching/controlling gives.
This power will pass as the body leaves us. Influence, yes, like Louise L. Hay and Wayne Dyer, but even that influence needs to be allowed to segue for the guidance of the Spirit for those yet among the ones who walk in the wardrobe of the flesh. I wonder if the Zombie Apocolypse has something to do with the state we live in as we function in a world created by those who have moved on and created a sort of living dead society as we do not allow this moment and the living to create our present gifts. We do not have to throw all of yesterday out but let’s keep only what was good and allow ourselves to Be now.
Even being a person of integrity and claiming one way is correct after giving so much good in another direction is a form of power play. Many a lover does this to their partner and it has been done by people of celebrity also. I am not seeking to throw stones. It would not serve me. My purpose is to identify the challenge of communicating publically with a concept or idea that serves all of us when the fabrication gives us so many false witnesses of truth.
Doreen Virtue is a woman of drive and discipline. Her three doctorate degrees testify of that. Her ability to do hard work and share things from a spiritual source is obvious in her many programs, books, and cards of which I have five. She has chosen to say Jesus has called her to something else; though in listening to the testimony of her vision of Jesus, I neither saw nor heard anything to suggest anything other than a witness that to serve others without ego was what Jesus was teaching.
I feel she may have allowed herself to yield to social influence because of her desire to have a social environment where she feels she may exercise her own creativity. The voice of the other can seem very comforting when we feel trapped. Her wardrobe witnesses that she has allowed herself to be used as an advertisement. And, while there are those who have tackled the mountain of being an ad while maintaining their own integrity, I suspect it is a gruelling journey.
I believe that her shift may have more to do with her trying to restore her personal power than that Jesus has called her to renounce her previous work as it seems to some of us to be the case. I had only known of her for about four months before she made her announcement and I found comfort in hearing the word of God and prayer. Many of us send her prayers and we wish her safe journeys of discovery and abundance.
Seeing this transition I thought this would give me the crack in the door that I needed to be able to talk about Christ again. I also knew that I wanted to take the Angel Tarot Card Reading certification course being offered at Hay House. Radleigh Valentine has made the course fun. I have observed the shift that occurred publically and am well aware that this had been being prepared for some time. I wish Doreen every good thing as she establishes herself in a different direction or even another if she feels so directed.
When we teach from a true place we stabilize and feel joy in the success of another and their flight. And do not need to continue to maintain the status quo of “being on top”. We recognize that another’s success is our own, as another’s failure or loss is as well. This comes from an awareness that there is no separation among people. Sadly, this is not the attitude that is taught from the stages of those who would lead us at this time.
In the beautiful sunshine on the veranda overlooking the bay, I chatted with another attendee at the seminar. She was quite the adventurer and achiever in her own right apparently as she spoke of books and marathons. She told me how someone who had attempted to get people to bring music to those who were in hospice and how it was shunned and scoffed at first by those who should have seen its benefit the most. She went on to say that over time this had been overcome and currently there were several choirs and more organized all the time to meet this sensitive need. It was a very inspiring story and I asked her if I might comment on it in a book I was writing.
The conversation went well until I clarified that I was going to present some new insight on Christ and Jesus that could help set the world aright. There was no allowance for discussion after that. Apparently, we have established that all that needs to be said about this paradigm has been discussed. The conversation became very superficial after that.
It seems to me that Jesus and Christ have been taboo discussions probably since Oprah declared that Jesus did not come to earth to die upon the cross; such is the power of an icon and their influence on those who follow them. Interestingly, I have to say that this influence may have been felt even into very established Biblical organizations because I experienced this in the Mormon church, as an adult, for over thirty years as well.
Even though Ophrah is doing what she can to claim her own voice and show us how to do that, there are those who choose not to think for themselves. They choose instead to simply jump on her bandwagon of being and negate themselves. And then those with dollar signs, instead of eyes, who see her influence as persuasion of the masses to purchase and thus do their part to push to power addiction on her, as do those who make the purchases. In this place of fabrication with haves and have-nots, it is very understandable that this would happen. I do not wish to be a part of this. It is not in alignment with what we truly are. We are each meant to be creators of our own world, and our own satisfaction and enjoyment, as children of God.
Another woman expressed overcoming obstacles and living the dream of following your heart; even though the financial rewards she was hoping for had not yet fully manifested. She shared her witness of the futility of having enough answers by the example of bringing up a daughter who had abundance in so many ways and yet struggled with a lengthy stretch of suicidal inclination that was very challenging for the parents.
“How could that happen?”, seemed to be her statement. I expressed my concern that no one really wanted to have answers to these kinds of questions. She declared that she would like to understand, but I could feel the wall of doubt she had against such a possibility, nonetheless, I will try to bring them forward. I truly believe that there are answers and I have a personal witness of this form of heartbreak, both from the perspective of one who has lived in a state of suicidal mentality for at least forty-odd years, as well as living with a suicidal step-mom for many years, and as a mother of a suicidal adult child.
For me, these thoughts came in response to feeling a sense of futility in being of value in a society I could make no sense out of. Currently, I feel the challenge of raising the human consciousness out of its need to self-destruct and the insistence that mankind maintains of it right to suffer and be in punished by diverse forms of pain. This is why I believe that we need to acknowledge one enemy so that we have a chance to unite as a whole entity and people despite our differences. We will then be able to move forward into a totally new experience of abundance and never-ending joy and celebration.
My message was not the only thing on my mind as I journeyed toward the west coast. Since I was getting the opportunity to go back to the place of my birth and my teenage years (I was in the Midwest, Minnesota specifically from six to twelve.) I wanted to go by the places that I felt were significant. I got the address of my parents from my birth certificate and made sure it went with me.
I followed the white lines on the road and tail lights of slower trucks into the mountains outside Denver. I had not travelled this way before as far as I could remember but I know my fear of heights that I discovered while I lived in Utah for a short while. Because of rain, and a few unproductive attempts to stop, I ended up spending the night in Georgetown, Colorado. I woke to find myself in a beautiful mountain community that I just had to explore before heading out. It turned out to be nearly dark when I set off again but my heart was full with my adventures and the idea of seeing the majesty of the mountains before I reached my destination really made me feel as if it would put me over the edge of my tolerance. Pacing myself and enjoying the beauty of the day I had just had made more sense.
I had adventures before I actually got to California and my birthplace which I will speak of in future chapters. For now, I choose to recall finding the place where my parents had lived when I was born. I breathed in the energy of the weather and the community. I envisioned what it may have looked like back in the day. I considered two adults; though, while my father was out of his Korean War service at 26 and my mother was just 20, though she had had a boy and girl a few years before I came along. They had lives that were filled and tortured already, yet they had the hope to bring in a new child. Or was it really just lust? Believe it or not, I do not wish to judge, I only wish to acknowledge life as we consider this fabrication to be as honestly and clearly as I can. Either way, it mattered not to my enjoyment of being in the place they would have walked when I was at their mercy for my survival. Today, my father watches from his place in the spirit world and my mother resides in a US state that I have never seen. Our paths divided long ago and I am okay with that.
Having an illegitimate baby which was not exactly a good thing in those days, but neither was being one-fourth Native American or from alcoholic parents. Another child was to be born before the wedding and a separation and divorce followed soon after. Did these things create who I was or did they give food and fodder for the ego identity that I would carry into this fabrication? I walked around the neighborhood and took photos. There is an incredible amount of beautiful latino influence there.
There was also a local fast food place that had photos from near the year of my birth that I was able to soak in. I got a meal because the sign boasted of pastrami sandwiches and when I went inside to order I could smell the moist pastrami that I recalled from my junior high days in California. I watched as the man put that wonderful robust and moist pastrami on the grill and dried it out. Sadly the sandwich was not quite as I remembered. The moist steamed bun and dripping pastrami juices were absent.
I do believe that memories of our past may be changed for our benefit in this place of fabrication. Take the good and embellish it. Why not? It is food for the soul and the senses. Let us be children, let us rejoice! And let us not forget that this is but a fabrication and let us remember from where it comes.
I was able to visit the junior high and high school that I had attended. At least I walked around them. Again, the subtle, quiet memories of relationships and struggles where present. Not everything was familiar. In my day the chain link fence, which on the back of the high school had to be at least twenty feet high was not in my memory banks that I could access at the moment. As a foster child first, with an aunt and then with a locally licensed couple I felt odd and disengaged from others. Starting over, again and again, was nothing new to me. Autumn had become my favorite season early in life because it meant the opportunity of better experiences. I was the eternal optimist even then.
The little corner hamburger shop I worked at my last year of high school was now a convenient store and gas station. The main window we served the public from still stood and I could envision me taking orders for hamburgers according to your liking, even though the owner had created fifty varieties for your palates’ enjoyment. Forty-five years did not erase the memory or my thrill at having had the experience.
When I speak of the fabrication I do not mean that we must give up the moments that brought us pleasure, elation, or even challenge. I mean only that we do have the opportunity to embrace that which we want and carry it with us and let the other fall away for the choice of influence has always been ours. That is inherent in our position as children of God/Source.
I do believe that it is important to claim our own sovereignty in that we each must govern ourselves and make decisions for ourselves. We also want to remember that this is not a solo journey and we came willingly to serve others. I firmly believe that goes for those who have done the most dastardly deeds as well. We each play a significant role in this fabrication towards restoration to recollect who we truly are. Do not fault yourself for not having all the truth at this moment. And know that truth will be given you by the Spirit as requested and as is in line with the timing of the fullness of the plan of salvation and restoration.
In summary: The first card in the reading is the situation or question restated.
The Cat encourages independent, healthy boundaries. And a multitude of lives; which we can see in the many people upon the earth and also in the many ways that we might choose to live our own lives.
This is who I will share my message with and is truly the essence of the message I bare. It reminds me as well that it is truly One that I wish to speak to although they appear to be in many forms. The idea that one life is sufficient to learn all that a soul craves to understand is not a realistic concept in my mind. The impact I am looking for will influence all who have experienced time forward and back. And it will affect all fabrication; all that we are able to perceive, not just the human form.
The card reminds us not to obsess about anything as obsession may drive it away. Obsession is challenging to me because it can be confused with what you are passionate about. I to choose to understand this as I would do well not to get disturbed by what I perceive currently as imperfections in the world. I do not believe this means to not acknowledge them, rather to not perceive of them as real or lasting.
Perhaps this card is Spirits way of reminding me to remember that the ones that I speak to will be able to hear what I am sharing regardless of when they do or what their present occupation or circumstances may be.


Posted in Learning To Fly, SAVING CHRIST; ITS IN THE CARDS | Leave a comment



I was worried about going. I mean, I had been suicidal for years and it would be easy to have an accident in the mountains. Would my mind play tricks on me and find a way to end this nonsense? Then there was the coast. The weather where I could survive if I just ran away. It was stomping grounds of my early years. I had been told I was not wanted here and that I should kill myself by someone I cared for very much. Hmm.
My capacity for working for a living in the world of illusion was fading away. I just did not see the purpose. I did not want to continue to feed the frenzy of discontent, neglect, and abuse that I saw all around me. Did I have enough fight and faith left in me? I had tried so many times.
One more time maybe; maybe I would find someone who would give a damn. Maybe I would find someone who would want to know what we are really doing here and our assignment from the Creator of creators to bring His Son into the Light.
So I went. I drove to San Diego, California and crossed the mountains at night so that I would not be overwhelmed and unable to get to my destination. You see, I have a terrific fear of height. Oh, my!
I did tap (EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique) on it a few rounds before I actually went into the mountains so that it would not get the best of me and I have to admit it lessened the fear quite a bit. Thanks to the tapping I was able to enjoy much of the majesty of my surroundings on the trip home.
I like that word; majesty… A study of words and their meanings has been a hobby of mine; really, it is an obsession. I take nothing for granted in trying to understand others. The dictionary has become an important resource for me as I understand that the meaning I put to a word may not be the meaning another has for it.
Now, majesty, at first I spelt it with a “g”. It sort of reminded me of magic. I looked it up to be sure and changed it. I still like “magesty” because magic is a lot of what this world we live in is about. Mirrors and illusions…
The majesty of the mountains bears witness of the destructive capabilities of the ego, for they were created, according to some legends anyway, when the earth shook in defiance and shock at the crucifixion of the symbol (my interpretation) of the Son of God. Mountains were raised and valleys created to destroy those who thought they could destroy God’s Son and thus, God’s Love.
The mountains drew from me several powerful emotions as I drove through the Colorado highways and was met with vista after vista of incredible power. I felt awe. I felt tiny. As I reflected on that fact that I was of God I realized that I was capable of these things and more. And that was humbling and brought about a sense of bewilderment as well, because I often feel so disempowered, rather than empowered.
I claim to be nothing but a human with weaknesses like yourself. For example, I had not planned for sleeping quarters except what I had to have for the High-Performance Academy event in San Diego, California. I reserved a room for the night before the event and planned to check out of the hotel the last day of the event and make do there-after. It wasn’t a very well thought out plan. But thanks to a friend, I was able to rent a room for eleven of the fourteen days that it took me to get there and back. (Sleeping in my vehicle was my choice on the other days.) The last afternoon of driving I found a shop of delights and made purchases for self and family that ate up the money for the last stay. The adrenaline to return kept me alert and frequent stops to stretch and check my energies, not to mention the abundant caffeine I had on hand, allowed me to travel over a thousand miles in a twenty-four hour period. So, yeah, I do silly things.
What will I do or be now that I am back? I am not really sure I know or care. Here, though, I know my assignment and that is sufficient for the moment. To be a vessel of forgiveness. To myself and those around me. Does that mean that I do not see or acknowledge the incongruencies or that my burning desire to yell “FIRE” to the world has ended? No, I just understand that it is not my responsibility to tell anyone. Well, that is not so. It is my responsibility and privilege to tell; it just is not my responsibility to see that others listen.
This surprised me a bit and perhaps came about because I never made the connection with anyone that I felt really cared about what I might have to say at the seminar. Since then I have read in ACIM that it is important to share with others what we have understood so that we might gain further understanding and so that we may literally partake of the blessings of what we have come to know. “Listening to one Voice implies the decision to share It in order to hear It yourself.” (ACIM Text Ch 5) In the traditional Christian scriptures, we are told to bear witness after we have searched, pondered, prayed and received a witness by the Holy Spirit. I have personally experienced this many times and been very blessed by it in the form of inner peace and endurance.
While acknowledging that there are tragedies and individual and mass confusion, I still believe that everything is in order and in place. Sadly, not 12 hours after the seminar ended, there was a shooting at a Los Vegas concert. Still, I believe, it is already set to be undone; meaning the confusion, fear, and cartilage. The fear of The Son will be laid to rest. That was a given the instant that the confusion at His (Christ’s) creation began. His Father made the way and it was done. We are each a part of the healing process that occurs in the nightmarish sleep of The Son.
The ability of thought is intense. Mankind has been talking about this in many ways for some time. Continual communion with God is a goal to be sought for since it puts us in connection with the creator of life and not the creator of the chaos.
Otherwise, we are left to the devices of the ego that are self-sabotaging and erratic. Insanity is like air to me. Confusing messages with double, triple, or no meaning are the quotient of my earthly experience. There are others that know what I am talking about. Not that they would admit it in polite society, of course.
“You are wanted, no you’re not.” “This is the norm, no this is.” “If you go this way, you will be okay, well really, that is only in some imagined scenario that has already passed in the memory of the illusion of mankind.” Hmm, the double paradoxical bind. If you did not come into the world on that plateau, you would soon be forced to see the logical-insanity in it or create your own fantasy of quips and quotes that explained, and of course blamed, the nonsense on everything but, Almighty God or Source, or The Universe, “All That Is” or whatever you wanted to call it, where it really belongs.
If you did not come into a family of origin that was just plain insane and you knew it, perhaps you recall your own confusing messages. Or perhaps you are one of the haves that believes the rest are unworthy or not good enough or smart enough to get into a reasonable life. Then there are those who do blame the creator and in this way feel justified and find many excuses for taking advantage of creation in any form they fancy.
To be a god (rather than accepting you are The God) yourself is the more common, I believe. Then you can give meaning and acceptance to what you want and cast the rest away as dross (something regarded as worthless or useless) as you play god. And people will quarrel with you only so long about it, before they give you up as dross or throw meds at you or throw your person into a mental ward or prison, though, these places are filled to the brim.
Today we have a world full of gods. All created in the form of the true God, meaning in the mind and in our thoughts. Yet mankind has a great aversion to accepting the truth that they each are, in fact, God. Sadly, we seem to think that this God of Love needs to punish others. What a sad oxymoron.
We truly are responsible for what is in our realm of experience and we have the ability to alter it as we choose, yet we would rather blame it on another because the seeming power of the ego is so strong. Today’s answer is to just shun whatever does not fit in your view of the world, only let in that which agrees. Break off toxic relationships and negativity. How does this heal the state of separation that we feel? That has always been around in some form. That is what Abraham of the Bible was told to do when his father would have him sacrificed to the gods, ….go to the promised land.
Now, we need to be easy on ourselves here. After all, we are trained from infancy that we live in a linear world. This happens, then that, then that, and so on. From that perspective, it is easy to understand why mankind feels it acceptable to blame the past or others, or circumstances for where they find themselves today. In truth, time and space are part of the illusion created by ego as a place of eternal punishment of the Son of God for leaving His Father and thus committing a sin worthy of death.
The ego comes to earth formed and adjusts to linear time as we grow into society. The ego goes on with us in death and was formed in the spirit world where we first thought of ourselves as separate and fallen. This answers the great mystery statement I have pondered since my youth. “You will understand when you get older.” What I would understand is that no one has real answers and we basically live in a lose/lose world where all must ultimately die. Being a naturally altruistic person who wants everyone included this does sit well at all.
Now, do not give up on me here. I lay this introduction out so real and raw because I have found answers. And they bring me great joy and hope and I suspect in time, knowledge. I will not give up seeking to share them, live them, and expound them as long as I have “Being”. We truly are One having come from the mind of the Son who is one with The Father. All that I have studied or experienced to this date leaves me with my current hypothesis.
The ego was created by The Son in the moment of acknowledgement of self. As he manifested himself through each of us, that concept of wrongdoing and the need of sacrifice, self-denial, and punishment came into being and expanded (for the creation activity started by God, The Father of Christ, at His Son’s conception will not be stopped). The ego has fabricated a need to punish those who do not do his will. That will have been decided by our forefathers and expanded since the beginning of time. It is decided by parents, society, churches, schools, government, wars, famine, media, the popular news broadcasters or the latest hit TV or cartoon series.
It has a core based in the three temptations of mankind, discussed at length in “Reflections at Fifty” which is published on Amazon in ebook form under my pseudonym, Christa-Ann Faith Godsdaughter. The three temptations are; 1 Addiction, 2 Depression, and 3 Unrighteous Dominion which means hunger for power as manifested in bullying, shunning, and other forms of manipulation.
The birth of Christ that we await at Christmas is our individual awareness that The Christ is Me (and all that we see or witness). It is a joyful thing to be cherished with child-like enthusiasm and faith. In the meantime, we curse others for their stupidity and bind them (really ourselves) to chains of supposed wrongs for which they suffer in an eternal hell of our discomfort, forcing them to do without our company. How ironic for the one we fear and wish to harm is oneself, even if it appears we are seeing the wrongdoing in someone near or far, appearing to not be ourselves.
As I started to type up my book I put the title as Its All In The Cards. I realize that I need to change this. All is not found in any particular place. That is if you consider All to be absolute and complete knowingness of being, for as I stated Creation has been set in motion and will continue to evolve, at the same time it is inclusive with its Creator, our Grandfather. Not even He is aware of all for it is motion, according to my understanding, without the likes of time.
At any rate, I hold no claim to complete understanding other than to know that it all is encompassed in God and that I will yet learn along my path. Interestingly, at the same time, I believe, all knowledge is within each and every tiny molecule of manifested creation and even within every concept and corner of every thought ever conceived. Because God is the creator and He manifests in each of His creations, as well as their creations, infinitesimally.
When we speak of all with any concept, theory, or organization created by man we are speaking of the ego’s perception which causes corruption and dies because it is a fabrication. A fabrication of Christ that allowed himself to be punished for the sin worthy of death which was separating from God.
The only All that I am aware of is that God Is. Anything outside of that context is fiction or at least is subject to the scrutiny of the time, space, and philosophy it occupies; including Christ’s erroneous concept of the error of himself and mankind.
As stated, all is everywhere and in everything, for it is the God in us. In this human form, everything that we experience gives us bits of truth if we will only be mindful of it and allow the Holy Spirit to show it to us.
Let me state this clearly, I do not feel that I hold all the answers. However, I do believe that there is something caught in the “gears” of human consciousness that is preventing us from moving into our next state of being. And that is Christ’s original false thought of separation.
I just read again about the concept that they say that Einstein pondered for the last couple of decades of his life. The formula for the concept of love as the force and the only truth that pushes through all matter and thoughts that have any form of fear, doubt, or destruction and continually duplicates itself. I suggest that he would have given us this greatest of equations if he had only chosen to take it into himself completely. I am speaking of that concept of self-love.
That being said, I am not sure that the real door of love, has truly been unlocked by mankind before now. Or that it will be before each of us comes to the acceptance of the fact that we are saviors, by virtue of being of the body (meaning a part of the whole) of Christ, The Only Begotten Son of God. A huge revelation occurs when we realize that the God (whatever name you wish to acknowledge him by), that most of us have been thinking of, is Christ, not the Father of Christ.
A Course In Miracles states that it would require only one person, who fully understands, to break the cycle and send waves of understanding to the world. I believe each of us has that calling. This One Person would have had to recognize their own faults, forgiven themselves completely, and any others, who they feel have offended them or done something that they feel would be shameful. They would also have needed to be exposed to many, if not all, of life’s challenges in some form or another. I personally suspect that this One will be a female, for the male equivalent appeared in the flesh 2000 years ago.
It was on the fourth day of my journey that I did the reading. I was at the hotel. I had made it to the seminar. Now to get to the task of why I came, which was to find the avenue or means by which I would share what I had been given.
I used the deck, “Wisdom of Avalon” created by Colette Baron’Reid, a favorite of mine. Everything about it just calls to me, the illustrations, the concepts, and the idea of the impact of that which today is considered a myth.
A prayer and a question open the door to guidance from guides and angels. It not unlike the preparation of reading of scripture. I do believe that we have legions of helpers waiting for our intention and request for assistance. Just as Jesus had angels that would come to his assistance when, and if, called upon.
The question was “How do I share what I understand with the world?”
I had in mind a layout I had prepared which will give greater clarity to the reading.
Card one is the situation or question restated.
Card two is how it is reflected in the personal ego of the one getting the reading.
Card three is the effects on the Whole Christ Ego, meaning our united consciousness.
Card four is the message from the guides or ascended masters which to me would be Christ, Jesus, angels, guides, Mary, Buddha, and so many more, perhaps without number. This would be in accord with the beliefs of the person being read for.
Card five is the message from the outcome or message from the original creator of Christ, The Grandfather of you and I. The one that I would call God, though He has names without number and may even be known as the Higher Self. It also personifies the logical outcome of the situation.
Bear in mind that I do not believe Grandfather is concerned about where we are for in His sphere this is all resolved. He would not allow His Son to be in harm’s way. All was set right in the moment of confusion. Our restoration will come as we acknowledge that we are of Him though none is fully delivered from the illusion till all are delivered and set free. That includes Jesus.
This is my perception of the world today. It is my strategy or map for understanding the world around me. We are all united and what one of us does, anywhere in the world, or in any time frame affects all others. I recognize this in situations that seem to be outside of myself, as well as having a dawning awareness, that in my own existence, as well, is the ripple effect that manifests itself throughout all time and space. This, I believe, is why it is possible for the one to change the course of mankind, even to the folding up of space and time through forgiveness and the witness of our own divinity and godhood.
Jesus began the procedure in an accelerated form. It is in studying his words and developing a relationship with him that has led me to what I understand today. It is up to us to continue the work and bring about the Kingdom of God on the Earth. He still works with us and is as close as a prayer or a whisper.


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