It seems that the only way we can truly be one with the Whole is to be alone. I like to think of it as All One. It seems isolating and even cruel to the human psyche that is so bent on social interaction as being their mark of success, and yet this principle has been understood since the beginning of time.
I want to know that people are safe and happy and I suppose when I am alone is when I can best visualize that. I look forward to a time when humanity can be together in the physical and feel the same way.
Perhaps it is because when alone we can experience the essence of who we truly are and embrace our union with all.
The idea of compromise so that bodies can come together in the same room falls very short of witnessing of the Atonement to my way of thinking. This seems to be what we do for holidays, especially. Alcohol often is used to hide from what is going on, only to back fire and create unwanted trauma.
We either know we are ONE or we do not. It is an individual choice to accept. We all will eventually. How long it takes is up to us.
To force others to meet with us because of societal obligations or attitudes seems cruel to me. And then, in one another’s presence, and in the presence of the little one’s, we bash ourselves and each other. This seems a very unnecessary form of torture.
I am always in the process of learning. I know that these are issues that I am faced with making right now and decisions are needing to be made. I do not believe that humanity was created to suffer. (Well, I do believe that Christ made it for that purpose, but I also believe His Father will deliver Him -you and me- from that.)
On the flip side:
My alone time can feel haunted by despair. Not my own, but that of my family that has chosen to separate. They separate and call out for assistance, but I am at a loss. They have cut off communication.
And this world does not give me enough tools to reach them and bring them into a safe shore. Faith in God’s love for them can be all that gets me through it.
I feel like the fellow who built his house upon the sand as I watch my family fall apart one member or branch at a time.
And then, when I am with people, I feel as if it is so fragile and that it will come falling down like a house of cards. Sometimes I can enjoy our being together, but during the holidays, when memories and longings for family become so prominent, it is hard. Especially if there has been a recent break.
I know the only thing I can do is ride the tide sometimes. I do not want to be in a position where my concern gets expressed in a harsh way.
I know that I go numb sometimes. I do not know what to say or not say. And so I speak when I should not and do not speak when I should.
It breaks my heart. Even while I know it is not possible because we are One in God and nothing can change that. Comfort comes to me, even in this situation, because I know that God would not put such a burden on Himself. It is an impossible situation that has no place in the presence of God. And, even if I must experience this, it increases my faith in God and His love for His Son. That is my faith, my trust, and my hope in Christ.
This is why I do the work that I do. I believe with all my heart that we need to get on one page. All of the human race needs to get on one page. We need to identify one common enemy that we can unmask and see Him for the Child that He is.
We need to refuse to buy into the subconscious suggestion that we are here to suffer. Sometimes that means that we may be alone. I hope that others will understand.
PTSD is real, we need to have patience with ourselves and with each other. We just have to understand that we are all suffering and that we individually can choose to forgive the illusion for the benefit of all humanity. This is my prayer.
Till next time, God bless, Namaste~