I write my personal story, not to become it, but to find out who I am by revealing my perception on the experiences I have gone through and witnessed. I read a statement recently stating that the earth is a great classroom for mankind and in that one side has to understand the other in duality, right and wrong, and so on. It went on to say “If a portrait has no contrast -I mean zero- its just going to look all monochrome… You are not going to know who…is in the picture.” Is it not important when seeking freedom that we know who that freedom is for?
That really describes why I write, besides wanting to leave some clues for those around me and that come after me as to what this life is all about. I want to find out who I am. Like etching a form into a plate of glass I tap out ever so carefully who I believe that I am. One wrong tap, too heavy or at the wrong angle and the whole thing explodes and cracks and I am left to begin again, in this life or for those who believe, in perhaps another life on this earth.
The fourth volume of Portrait of a Harlot/Saint, The Evolution of Christa-Ann, will be sent to Amazon.com soon and it will shortly begin a journey in the public domain to take on a life of its own, even if that is only to add to the human consciousness my witness and no ever reads it, it will have fulfilled its purpose. I put no expectations on it. I only know that this is what the Lord would have me do, so I do it.
I find that I need to start out slow, primarily because of the challenges that life gives me as I live in a conscious state and the growth that occurs in the process. I suspect I will be adding to the book as I go along and create multiple editions of the book. One of the great advantages of the era we live in is the ability to write our truth as we understand it and put it out into the world. It is a wonderful therapy and growth enhancer to write of one’s heart and soul. The book will encompass my growth over nearly a decade that took me from the world into heaven on earth.
This volume begins with a very brief recording of how I took on the name of Christa-Ann Faith Godsdaughter in the summer of 2006. I have a strong sense that this is something that I need to do, for myself and for the world at large. I am not saying I will ever be known. I am only saying that I know that what I do and think affects the consciousness of mankind, so what I do put out there. I do not take this opportunity lightly. I do not consider myself unique in this either. I believe it is something that we all are all capable of giving to the world and that we would be greatly blessed if more would do it. Great authors have shared under the guise of fiction because they think this does not harm others, but I believe that we are giving in to the false reality that this is life when we approach our writing that way. This is not life, this is only the place where we learn what life can be and as we share our unique perspective we open the door and turn on the light so that others may see and come out of the darkness as well.
Throughout my experiences, I feel as if I have died a thousand deaths and soured to incredible heights, so much so that I can confidently state that I feel as if I have died and gone to heaven. On this journey there has been one faithful at my side and that is the Lord, Jesus Christ. He taught me of my Father in Heaven and of His love for me. He sent the Holy Ghost to guide and direct me along the way. We are a team, these three and I. Humanity fails us on this sphere and I suspect even beyond the veil we have our limits, but in these four, and yes, I include myself, I can build on a sure foundation that I believe will last all tests and all challenges. This is how I choose to proceed with my life and beyond.
I am a composite of my understanding of other philosophies, experiences, and even groups of people; immigrants, illegal aliens, wealthy, middle class, the poor. I have been privileged to live among great diversity. Within my personal belief system is Christianity, Latter-day revelation as taught by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, various eastern religions and philosophies, Native American to some degree, A Course In Miracles (ACIM), near death experiences (NDE), quantum physics and, of late, the work and writings of Elisa Medhus, MD, the creator of ChannelingErik.com and author of My Son and The Afterlife, Conversations From The Other Side. Elisa, Jamie, and Erik’s work has introduced me to a whole new section of society on an intimate level. It is from her book that the quote about earth being a classroom and how we need the contrast to define ourselves and understand who we are as individuals like the etching on a glass plate.
Please note that Elisa and Jamie do not profess to be Christians, nor did Erik before his passing. His teaching and even his vocabulary bear witness that he is being taught by those who know the word of God and its meaning by the power of the Holy Ghost. This is my witness anyway. I have done an extensive study of their work and once The Evolution of Christa-Ann is up and two other tales that will wrap up my personal learning in this worldly sphere I look forward to writing about what I learned there through the lens of the gospel (Biblical, LDS, and ACIM) as I studied Dr Medhus’ work and over 600 accounts of NDE. Erik’s niche is with teenager’s who feel they do not belong and seek suicide as an answer (this is the way Erik took his life at age 20). The language is course as is so often the case when we feel trapped and frustrated at our lack of personal empowerment to manifest what we believe is our will in our lives.
Cautiously, yet determinedly I was drawn into the archives of her blog at ChannelingErik.com. And I have recently completed reading her 5 years of blogs and interviews. I have to admit that I was taken aback by Erik’s language and demeanor at times but something drew me. Part of it was the death of my daughter and her interest in the paranormal and the language, well, it is what I grew up with, what most of my children live, and what I had worked for years to rid myself of. Since I did not feel drawn to its use, but I did feel drawn to the message, or perhaps the cry would be a better way to say it, I proceeded.
Her interview with Jesus Christ, which can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi130bfr7oY is what first captivated me. My interest in NDE and ACIM made me receptive to listening to that first interview (over and over, and I still ponder it today). (I also personally believe that my daughter who passed may have had a hand in helping me find this resource. Maybe it was just my way of trying to dodge the pain of her death.) In my opinion it is one of the greatest recordings on Christian missionary work I have ever seen because he comes to a non-believing, even hostile (to the teachings of Jesus anyway) environment and bears witness of who he is and is not. (I would also note that it is the only interview that she ever did where someone who taught or professed a completely different outlook on life chose to be a part of the interview, that is from all the ones that I viewed and read about which may or may not be the total.)
Some of Jesus comments are shocking and cause one to think about who they thought he was, but having had a relationship with the Savior throughout my life and knowing the witness of the Holy Ghost I could feel him coming through. And yes, it has changed me, as a Christian, forever. Because I am grounded in the word of God, I was able to catch many nuances of his comments and his reactions to the behaviors and statements of those that were at the interview that I do not believe were picked up by those present. I give strong caution and warning to anyone with a weak testimony or not motivated by the Holy Ghost about watching it because it may challenge your witness of Jesus as the Christ. It is not for the weak or shallow in faith.
May I state emphatically, my faith, that looking to Jesus Christ and his teachings and those who teach his principles, whether in his name or another is how we will be able to come to know who we truly are and what our role is at this time in the evolution of mankind. That which divides mankind be it from the “right or the left”, the “wrong or the right” is not of God in my opinion. We all have our part as His Children and bringing the light of God’s love into a darkened world, even those we may feel live in the darkest of those places.
I have felt driven and led to seek out and discover my relationship with the deity wherever it may lead me. I look forward to playing my part in the evolution of man by walking my walk and telling my story.
Till next time,
God Bless and By For Now…
Portrait of a Harlot/Saint Volume 4 The Evolution of Christa-Ann
Check out Volume 1 Reflections at 50, Volume 2 Becoming a Little Child (how I keep my testimony in the church, with imperfect situations), Volume 3 Story of My Life. I also have three volumes in my Gramma Series.