When we undertake to develop a new perspective or paradigm things are going to happen on a subconscious level that we would do well to understand. In my study of A Course In Miracles I am being made keenly aware of the subconscious interactions that I have with the world and myself. ACIM uses the term ego and that makes sense to me. The ego seems to be that part of us that is really fixated on “this world”, meaning the world of the senses or physical body and declaring those things and only those things that can be seen or explained with the 5 human senses are real. Here is an example of how the subconscious/ego was trying to trip me up as I recorded it on Facebook:
Do you realize that it is possible to feel “guilty” for being happy? What a sad state of affairs!!! I have blessed by the Holy Ghost to understand this about myself. I am grateful that I did not listen to the world’s rational because I could have placed it on PTSD for any number of things but He told me it was because I was feeling happy and in a safe place. I just need to tenderly and firmly let myself know that it is okay to be happy. For this witness I am truly grateful!!!
I mean really! I know that I would not have come to this understanding if I had not allowed the gospel of Jesus Christ to be laid under all that I view as life and the use of the teachings from ACIM is like having a college course in the scriptures and doctrine of Jesus Christ. It is not for the ones who want to live in the world and believe in God also. It is for those who are willing to see nothing accept God and the manifestation of His love in their lives.
I look forward to continued growth and progress. Each step is magnificent and right on target toward my goal of eternal life in the presence of my Heavenly Father. Forgiveness and not holding grudges or justifying behavior that is not good for me is very key. It does not mean that I will not make mistakes. Quite the contrary, like the beautiful testimony given by my bishop this morning, we are able to make mistakes in the gospel and still go on in the Lord’s work with joy and rejoicing. (Do not misunderstand here, these are mistakes not out right going against his commandments. Yet on a higher level perhaps, ACIM teaches that even those things that appear to be greater sins or with more choice and intent away from God’s purposes are only mistakes in understanding who and what we are as well.)
At any rate joy is our goal, joy is our inheritance, and peace is the reward we want to seek if we would be all in the world we were meant to be.
Listening to General Conference talks I cannot help but hear them with an ear aware of the teachings in ACIM and it warms my heart to hear corresponding information. The gospel is true in whatever form it is found and wherever it is found.
On another note of transition sugar has given me a run for the money. I mean that it has been something that I have been seeking to avoid for over a year and the restructuring of my mind by ACIM has made it difficult to hold to my convictions, but not impossible. I have floundered with it by falling off the wagon and twice just doing an all out free for all. Years ago when my world was severely shaken I rocked the boat with morality…I am grateful to have sugar be that which can shake a bit as I acclimate to a new way of seeing the world. It is funny to watch how the ego tries to justify things that will sabotage my well being. I go on and off of the wagon but I am stabilizing and getting an exercise plan back in to my daily routine and that makes me feel very good. I also was tempted to give up my goal all together because of understanding that carbs such as breads and pastas turn to sugars in the body. I have told myself that I do not need to give up the ones that change into sugars in my body and that even if I occasionally partake in a sweet at a social event it does not mean I cannot be stable and choose to avoid main processed sugars for the most part.
I have to admit that a lot of my inner person is undergoing a definite reshuffling as I go through my studies. The gospel is taking on a deeper and keenly different meaning in my life. I look forward to sharing these new understandings into the future as I gain confidence and testimony in them. They are raising my current spiritual walk to a whole different plateau and helping me to understand the teachings of Christ at a more personal, realistic, and powerful level.
Ho’oponopono is another methodology that is rocking my world!!! It has a magical capability to change what is going on with others in the world my changing you and your choice to see a negative outside yourself. If you have not been exposed to it yet check it out online. It is really worth your time!! (It also resonates with the things I am learning in A Course In Miracles.) I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, and Thank you are the 4 things you want to say to yourself in the face of conflict or distress with those things that appear to be disturbing to your peace that you believe are coming from other people. This is something that I do not fully comprehend (could we ever in this sphere?) yet I can feel its power and have seen its impact.
There is the “second childhood” phenomenon that I am going through right now as well. I have felt many people and circumstances in my life have allowed me to experience some of the traumatic situations and personalities of my infancy and youth. It is as though I am being given the opportunity to witness that feeling or circumstance again and be able to say things like: “I do not have to look at this the way that I did as a child. They do not really have any power or control over me. I can look at this in a different way and not call myself names or emotionally beat myself up. The list could go on and on and since I did have a very unsettled childhood perhaps that are yet many things I will encounter in life that will allow me to see that I am able to respond differently. This definitely feels like a healing experience to me. I suspect that this may be part of life at my age, but also that the walk in the gospel of Jesus Christ will bring us to review these things as well. I believe that the EFT (tapping), meditation, scripture study, prayer, service, and A Course In Miracles is encouraging this as well, in fact I found a reference to just this in an article I read today on this site: http://www.personalgrowthcourses.net/stories/hendricks.chemistryofblame1 It is a very interesting read and a site that I am interested in reviewing further.
May you be able to understand according to your willingness to hear and may you feel of my love, admiration, and gratitude for each and every one.
Till next time God speed and blessings to you and yours.