It is one thing to obtain freedom for oneself and quite another to live free among people. Especially people with varying capacities and understandings of freedom.
I have never been more grateful for the standard works (the scriptures) in my life than I am now because without them I would be so lost. Even though I have read them over and over they are like a life line to God’s will and his plan for the children of men. They help me steady my course and “man my ship” as I go through life, one day at a time.
With all that is going on I have had a major breakthrough in that the whole sum (meditation, tapping, family circumstance, job circumstance, church relationships, etc) has finally been able to get me to do something that I have not been able to do before and that is to be silent and be the observer and be okay with that, at least for a time. There are a lot of components to this because #1 speaking openly was the only way that I held on to my sanity in a world that was definitely wanting me to believe that I was crazy, and unimportant, so that the status quo of “harm one another, especially if they let you” was allowed to thrive. Number 2 is that the scriptures testify that we are to proclaim the truth boldly and warn our neighbors. Today the General Authorities are stating this profoundly.
And yet here I sit with an understanding that is so profound, I have need to absorb it, and listen to the still small voice of the Holy Ghost, so that I might be able to understand how to proceed with this understanding. What was that understanding? That no amount or type of oppression from outside (or even from inside through sin) may take away my value before God, my power or ability to influence for good before man and God, or my voice before the children of man. So significant is the mere existence of the human being that even the mental or physical capacities of the individual do not destroy this reality. Now this was significant to my one heart because I felt the “social oppression” spread by the soft murmurings of jealousy within my one safe hold…the church. I rejoiced with this understanding for myself and knew that the whole of them could not take those things from me.
As days go by with this understanding, I realize, that this applies to all other human beings, including the precious children, brought into this world through my body as co-creator with God and their father, as well as their children, whom I hold so dear to my heart. There is no one though that I do not recognize for their value and their valor, their tremendous strength that is manifest by their place on this earth, no matter their circumstance, blessings, or limitations. Not even those who have chosen to follow the adversary are without that honor and privilege.
So that means, not only do I no longer have to defend myself and my right to be alive, but I do not have to step in the way and protect or defend others by my own limited means as I have tried to do, with little success, in the past. Rather, I am able to let go of the attachment…(You might say I have discovered the secret to the detachment sought for by the masters and gurus of yoga and meditation.)…What this means is that I can get myself out-of-the-way and let God have the reigns in my life.
I think of the Lord’s prayer and the part that says “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”. I believe that when I go in with my own ego into the presence of another and seek to share a better way that I risk the sin of trespassing the territory of the Lord but when I go in representing Christ alone, having acknowledged myself and given up myself to represent him alone through, sincere and complete repentance, and covenants I can allow his will to be done through me and his miracles and glory to be manifest. May it prove to be so or may I learn what he has to teach me as I go on this journey. In Jesus name, amen.