Shattered and Shell Shocked

How do I let people know who I truly am and what I am feeling right now when I am so shell shocked, disappointed, and heart broken I have one of two choices, to crumble into a blob on the floor and take medication to numb my brain so I just do not care what is going on around me or allow the pain and anguish that I feel to catapult me into a place of strength and courage that my enthusiasm frightens those around me?!?

To be sincere and honest with people up close is simply not allowed in our country, communities, or homes. Has it ever really been or is that just another of the long list of propaganda that the media feeds us as they lead us, sometimes not so gently, to the work fields and eventually to the slaughter?

Have I given up on humanity? No, only because of my faith in Jesus Christ, his promises are sure and true. I have experienced the power of the atonement in my life and I know that there is hope in Jesus Christ. I also know that he sent each and every one of us into this world to face the “wolves in sheep’s clothing” along with the other dangers. The wolves in sheep’s clothing are the most dangerous I believe.

As a people we are trained to put blinders on, to avoid that which is none of our business and to “turn the other cheek”. Note how Christ’s teachings are more than welcome when it fits the objectives of the adversary that desires us all to be in bondage and to lose our inheritance. The adversary has seduced many a man and woman to meet his objectives.

Today our society has many advantages that even a decade ago where not available to the masses. At the same time the illnesses and attitudes of those who could allow such things as 9/11, the Holocaust, and Christians being fed to the lions is rampant. There is no nation, community, village, hut, or home where his hatred has not numbed the minds and hearts of those we live among.

Theft, bullying, false accusations, adulteries, and “soul crushers” abound. As a child growing up in a very dysfunctional environment I felt certain there were those out there in the world somewhere that were whole, kind, decent, safe, caring. I have looked for 57 years and I have found only one who has that capacity in its real form without the camouflage of prejudice and self aggrandizement. At the very least they cannot “see” me and my suffering because they do not even acknowledge their own fully. We all do this and will do this as long as we continue to claim this as life, instead of seeing it as a portal through which we must pass to receive life.

No one save the Savior himself has yielded fully to this truth. He did it by being true to himself, so many say it was in being true to God, the Father and, yes, he did that but not before being true to who he was and acknowledging that completely. We have to do that as well. We need to allow ourselves to “be” and then we can truly turn ourselves over to him and his will. If we do it the other way around we only put on pretense that can fool even ourselves into thinking we are something we are not.

It is through a knowledge and continual study of his teachings that I am able to continue my work and my life here on the earth. I have come to know Christ. I have felt his presence and his love for us. I have felt his continual outstretched hand that says “Come, follow me”. It takes courage and strength of character to be able to admit who we are in this sphere. Christ said “Only God is good”. And I believe he meant that in all its meaning. He likewise was in a developmental stage. He did not come here without things to learn about himself and the flesh.

The power of discernment is huge for us to be able to “see” what we need to see to do to be healed and follow through on fulfilling the instructions and work we were given here to do. We must be able to “hear” the whisperings of the Holy Ghost that will guide us in our individual responsibilities in this work of Heavenly Father’s of bringing all mankind to the place where they may choose life. We do this first by getting ourselves there, no matter what it takes.

I am committed to this work and am willing to give whatever it takes to do it. No embarrassment or mishap will stop my determination to do what I can to declare the truthfulness of this man’s mission and my commitment to it. I do not expect it to be easy. I do trust that he will honor my efforts and guide me along and stand by my side if I do not falter in my resolve.

Prayers for this work and that of thousands of others who have the capacity to “see” would be most appreciated…till next time, God bless and bye for now.

About Yvonne Debra Simmons aka Christa-Ann Faith Godsdaughter

Welcome: Please read at your own risk and be responsible for your own edification and enlightenment. Disclaimer: I no longer consider myself a traditional Christian. I do still follow the Jesus I have come to know and I follow the Holy Spirit, as I recognize Him. I believe that Jesus taught us that we are the Christ and the "I Am" he referred to encompassed all of us. Thus, I believe we have misunderstood many teachings of Jesus. I consider myself a seeker and a believer in humanity and that there is a purpose to being; and an answer as to why we have the suffering that we do. I believe that the Holy Spirit is the instructor we should seek and that means trusting your own heart and being responsible for the guidance we follow. That means learning to hear and heed the voice of warning, instruction, or confirmation. I continue to be a student and an observer. Watching for something that tells me my hypothesis is wrong, or that I need to tweak it in some way. Writing is my greatest instructor these days. When I begin a book I do not know where it will end up or how it will develop, but I do know that I will be a changed person when I finish, knowing myself better. That may just be the best we can hope for in life. I feel as if I have died and gone to heaven numerous times as I have uncovered secrets that I long to share. My body will age and fulfill the contract I made with Christ (meaning all of us) to bare witness of His divine curse of suffering, but my spirit and intellect will bare witness of His innocence and the beauty and expanse of The Father's Love for His Son. To me, this, for now, is the ultimate freedom. I wish no argument with anyone. May we each be true to our own conscience. God bless us every One, Namaste~
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