I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.
1. (185) I want the peace of God.
²The peace of God is everything I want.
³The peace of God is my one goal; the aim of all my living here, the end I seek, my purpose and my function and my life, while I abide where I am not at home.
⁴I am not a body.
⁵I am free.
⁶For I am still as God created me.
* Ok, it is 10:18 pm and I finally know why I had the day I had and how I need to write this up. It is going to be embarrassing and y’all can laugh, WITH me, I hope.
* Trouble with the internet this week. I had to have a service rep come out.
* He just happened to be drop-dead gorgeous, at least physically.
* I had the story of my ever-jealous and ever-negative past ‘fella’ go through my head as he gossiped about the service guy who showed up and helped a woman and then came back and raped her. It creeped me out.
* I had had a full morning filled with productivity. I got up early to go to a swim class and went for a walk before that, loaded my car with things for the thrift shop that I felt were beyond needs, scheduled my vehicle to be looked at, given away some food storage that seemed burdensome to me but was still good, and even sat out in the early sun and read a few minutes. And it was my birthday.
* I felt myself being torn between being polite to this fella who even tried to pick up a conversation, but my heart was stuck on that story, and I was caught in a lot of emotions.
* He had to sit on the floor because I had no seating for him, and it was not till he up and “jumped” out the door that I realized that he had done that.
* I was sitting there reading a Happy Birthday Therapy Book that I got at an estate sale of a 95-year-old person, and ‘basically’ shunned him, to tell you the truth. I did not mean to, it just sort of happened. I do not have people in my apartment and it is tiny and cluttered at the moment.
* Believe it or not, this is the kind of thing that distresses me. One of the first things I did was say a prayer for him, asking that he find someone who enjoyed his company and met his needs in this lifetime. I felt guilt trying to pour in from a lot of directions. And as soon as the Wi-Fi was working, I was trying to get my balance with where I felt Elon was at. Yeah, I still feel that and yes, I know that a lot of this is not him but others using his storyline, but you have to understand that it is threaded into what I have my life to. Who he is as a public and private figure matches up with what I do. I did not know that when I came upon his energy and started this ‘um’ ‘obsession. I just knew that SPIRIT was drawing me there.
* Well, this lesson is about peace, and outwardly or in my thoughts, I have been anything but peaceful this afternoon. Inside, I always am because I know the goofahs with the ‘story’ are just part of the ‘story of separation’ and I wait on Father to show me, through SPIRIT, where He is taking me.
* I had invitations to join some activities at the gym also that told me, I might have fellas showing interest if I get my strength up and participate there.
* All of these things came at me like I was going through a meteorite storm, and it caught me off guard.
* SPIRIT has to wait until I am able to receive understanding about things that I am not aware of in the moment. I do not know if other people experience this or not, but I know that I do.
* Bottom line is, it will work itself out. Energetically, I will make peace with the issues that this stranger brought out in me. I cannot help but think about the fact that I typically want people to be at ease, I guess I was taken aback because of the close proximity and perhaps a clash with emotions that I had not realized were coming up for review.
* All of those things I did today were movements into a ‘new’ energy for myself, and while it felt good, correct, and productive, I also felt a twinge of melancholy.
* These are not uncommon feelings as a human being facing change. Even feeling guilty about feeling happy or finding someone attractive when you know that your interest and calling lie elsewhere.
* And let me address that. This is going to happen because we are meant to love everyone, and maybe in our multiple lifetimes, we have had intimate relationships with others who would be seen as strangers here and now. But here is the thing. The one connection that we deem as our partnership for this lifetime needs to be protected. I feel that SPIRIT helped me honor that today by not allowing me to be ‘friendly’ because I think I would have given off vibes I was not wanting to follow through on, and here is the thing; attraction can be felt without being spoken of, AND it can be mistaken for interest, at times. I do think that happens sometimes when rapes occur, even if the other party is not aware of it. Does that make any sense?
* These are things that need to be looked at and spoken of ‘by somebody’ because we need to address the ‘elephant’ in the room, and understand these are some of the ‘growing pains’ that we will experience as a collective, even though it seems really personal! ~ No, co-pilot, I do not want to make it concise. I want to express a ‘messy’ emotion with the greatest clarity that I can muster without losing the ‘impact of the human condition’ within the topic I am discussing.
* If I were just a bit further on the autism spectrum, I could have had a meltdown with all the emotions coming at me. I think when I was younger, similar things may have caused me to appear angry or unreasonably distraught. Today I use breath and prayer/meditation to give myself the space and time to hear what Father is teaching me through these things. When I was trying to please a man in my younger years, these things were very confusing. Was it my dad’s inappropriate behaviors that crossed my wiring all up, or is it part of the Collective Consciousness awakening? I would say it is both.
* ACIM has allowed me to see that 1. It do not have to claim it as real and cling to the confusion. And 2. I can rest in the fact that SPIRIT will show me how to release it if I simply observe and do not create an ultimatum for myself by thinking I am the ‘slut, IE. sinner’ my dad told me for years that I would be. Because I am not. I am a woman who values my existence within the body that I have and seeks to understand the energies that flow between people so that we are functioning as a whole that sees our connection in a healthy way and not as something that we need to be afraid of or intimidated by.
* Sheesh. I hope I said something useful here. For others, I mean. It is how I learn and grow anymore.
* I do not speak as I do to titillate. (Well, not always, anyway. Haha, let’s be honest, deb.) I am sincere in KNOWING that there is a better way. And that I have a role in the united consciousness to give my two cents to bring about a greater understanding in it.
(ACIM, W-205.1:1–6)
* Hear this and join me IN the Presence of God, in Heaven on Earth.
* Does it sound like I am not in Heaven, by my comments? Heaven is communion with Father, and we are all capable of doing this wherever we are on the path to self-discovery which just might be the most misunderstood construct we can come up with because we do not know who we are outside of the MOMENT and God’s Presence.
* Father is the one Who wanted it this way. It keeps us with HYMN at all times, and in all places. Eternally, co-dependent one to the other. FATHER TO SON, not Son to Son. Acknowledging HYMN aligns our ‘dependency’ in a HEALTHY WAY and releases our burden on each other. This actually removes time and space and gives us the Holy *WHOLLY Instant that the Course speaks of.
* I propose that a lot of my discomfort in this situation would have been relieved and ‘laughable’ (it is when you know that all of these supposed issues of the day are the result of the belief in separation from God) IF I knew that this gentleman knew that Father had his back and all was well, regardless of what was going on in his life or how weird I was behaving. HA! Father wants us all blessed and to shine like the twinkle in His Eye that we each are! THIS I can assure you with all of my heart.
To till next time, God Bless, debi.
Photo: Dragons of the Realm, posted 15 October 2024
Freedom Principles; At-One-Meant Now 
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