I will be still an instant and go home.
* I am there. I do not have to wait until all of my behaviors that fear of separation are gone to be there.
* I could not begin to stay here if I thought that was the case.
* Acknowledging God is how I get there and remembering Him is how I stay there.
* You have to start where you are. It might be faith on the possibility that God is real and you matter to Him. One of the gifts of the Spirit is faith in someone else’s testimony. I suspect that it was Jesus’ witness of God’s Love that I relied on at first. I also believe that Jesus is the ONLY one with recall of what it was like when we were all one in God and knew it. It had to be Jesus who had the first (and only?) idea about separation from God. Is this not why he is our eldest brother? And the Atonement? He has done the undoing, now we need to forgive him for the error that we might have recall of the God Who created us all.
1. This world you seem to live in is not home to you.
* The past few lessons we have been told that this world is restored to blessings when God is seen.
²And somewhere in your mind you know that this is true.
³A memory of home keeps haunting you, as if there were a place that called you to return, although you do not recognize the voice, nor what it is the voice reminds you of.
⁴Yet still you feel an alien here, from somewhere all unknown.
⁵Nothing so definite that you could say with certainty you are an exile here.
⁶Just a persistent feeling, sometimes not more than a tiny throb, at other times hardly remembered, actively dismissed, but surely to return to mind again.
2. No one but knows whereof we speak.
* This means that we DO KNOW about that feeling like this is not our home.
²Yet some try to put by their suffering in games they play to occupy their time, and keep their sadness from them.
³Others will deny that they are sad, and do not recognize their tears at all.
⁴Still others will maintain that what we speak of is illusion, not to be considered more than but a dream.
⁵Yet who, in simple honesty, without defensiveness and self-deception, would deny he understands the words we speak?
3. We speak today for everyone who walks this world, for he is not at home.
²He goes uncertainly about in endless search, seeking in darkness what he cannot find; not recognizing what it is he seeks.
³A thousand homes he makes, yet none contents his restless mind.
⁴He does not understand he builds in vain.
⁵The home he seeks can not be made by him.
⁶There is no substitute for Heaven.
⁷All he ever made was hell.
* How can I ever expect to have an existence with someone in hell when I am in Heaven because I know who I am and Who God is? How can two minds come together? I am not better than by ANY MEANS. But how do I convince him that I know this?
4. Perhaps you think it is your childhood home that you would find again.
²The childhood of your body, and its place of shelter, are a memory now so distorted that you merely hold a picture of a past that never happened.
³Yet there is a Child in you Who seeks His Father’s house, and knows that He is alien here.
* THIS Child is Who you truly are as a part of God’s Son.
⁴This childhood is eternal, with an innocence that will endure forever.
⁵Where this Child shall go is holy ground.
⁶It is His Holiness that lights up Heaven, and that brings to earth the pure reflection of the light above, wherein are earth and Heaven joined as one.
* This is what and where we need to be and to make a mistake or do something someone does NOT understand IS OKAY.
* NOTHING can take away our INNOCENCE OR OUR WORTHINESS.
* This is the Child that I KNOW I am and so is everyone. I do not want to be a “grown up,” ever.
** That has nothing to do with being responsible in the presence of a little human being. It has to do with knowing no matter what our ages we are all brethren as part of the Sonship of Christ, even to our babies.
5. It is this Child in you your Father knows as His Own Son.
²It is this Child Who knows His Father.
³He desires to go home so deeply, so unceasingly, His voice cries unto you to let Him rest a while.
⁴He does not ask for more than just a few instants of respite; just an interval in which He can return to breathe again the holy air that fills His Father’s house.
⁵You are His home as well.
⁶He will return.
⁷But give Him just a little time to be Himself, within the peace that is His home, resting in silence and in peace and love.
* NO, I do not want to play this game of almost finding that Christ is me. Maybe Bill and Helen needed it but I must be where I am. I will have my heart and mind recognize that THIS is the ONLY TRUTH that COULD BE MINE. I BELONG WITH FATHER AS DOES ALL THAT IS.
6. This Child needs your protection. ²He is far from home. ³He is so little that He seems so easily shut out, His tiny voice so readily obscured, His call for help almost unheard amid the grating sounds and harsh and rasping noises of the world. ⁴Yet does He know that in you still abides His sure protection. ⁵You will fail Him not. ⁶He will go home, and you along with Him.
* YES, WE ARE ABLE TO DO THIS.
7. This Child is your defenselessness; your strength. ²He trusts in you. ³He came because He knew you would not fail. ⁴He whispers of His home unceasingly to you. ⁵For He would bring you back with Him, that He Himself might stay, and not return again where He does not belong, and where He lives an outcast in a world of alien thoughts. ⁶His patience has no limits. ⁷He will wait until you hear His gentle Voice within you, calling you to let Him go in peace, along with you, to where He is at home and you with Him.
8. When you are still an instant, when the world recedes from you, when valueless ideas cease to have value in your restless mind, then will you hear His Voice. ²So poignantly He calls to you that you will not resist Him longer. ³In that instant He will take you to His home, and you will stay with Him in perfect stillness, silent and at peace, beyond all words, untouched by fear and doubt, sublimely certain that you are at home.
9. Rest with Him frequently today. ²For He was willing to become a little Child that you might learn of Him how strong is he who comes without defenses, offering only love’s messages to those who think he is their enemy. ³He holds the might of Heaven in His hand and calls them friend, and gives His strength to them, that they may see He would be Friend to them. ⁴He asks that they protect Him, for His home is far away, and He will not return to it alone.
* THIS IS US GOING HOME TO FATHER BY ACKNOWLEDGING HIM HERE AND NOW IN ALL THAT WE EXPERIENCE KNOWING THAT NOTHING CAN BE OUTSIDE OF GOD.
10. Christ is reborn as but a little Child each time a wanderer would leave his home. ²For he must learn that what he would protect is but this Child, Who comes defenseless and Who is protected by defenselessness. ³Go home with Him from time to time today. ⁴You are as much an alien here as He.
* Where is here? It is that place where judgment, competition, struggle, and death are considered existence.
* It is where entitlement is the main course whether you are young or old. The cruelty of the elderly is just as challenging as any pre-school or high school, actually much worse. And why do we think that it is entertainment to act like fools and damage each other and ourselves?
11. Take time today to lay aside your shield which profits nothing, and lay down the spear and sword you raised against an enemy without existence. ²Christ has called you friend and brother. ³He has even come to ask your help in letting Him go home today, completed and completely. ⁴He has come as does a little child, who must beseech his father for protection and for love. ⁵He rules the universe, and yet He asks unceasingly that you return with Him, and take illusions as your gods no more.
* There is NO DUALITY in #11 as the wording suggests! Christ IS you, you ARE Christ. As is everything else.
12. You have not lost your innocence. ²It is for this you yearn. ³This is your heart’s desire. ⁴This is the voice you hear, and this the call which cannot be denied. ⁵The holy Child remains with you. ⁶His home is yours. ⁷Today He gives you His defenselessness, and you accept it in exchange for all the toys of battle you have made. ⁸And now the way is open, and the journey has an end in sight at last. ⁹Be still an instant and go home with Him, and be at peace a while.
* Is innocence the “HOME” that we are seeking? God IS HERE with us.
* He NEVER LEFT. We NEVER LEFT. IT IS AN IMPOSSIBILITY.
* We ARE ALL INNOCENT.
* I do not do the work I do to impress anyone. I do it to have a relationship with Jesus and with Father. Long ago I knew that I would do it set me apart and I understand this yet today.
* (shhh, this is private)
* I said I did not want you taking Viagra because I saw something that said the same company makes Prozac and I was concerned that they had not tested it properly and thought you might be hurt by it. I want you to know that I love you with or without that part of sex. Besides you are so twisted up in “doing it right” according to someone you are talking to (and it sure as hell isn’t me) that we may never get together again.
* I really think it was me saying the f-word that threw off your perfect little plan of how “This was gonna be done right!”
* Been there, done that! I do not march to anyone’s tune. I lost my second daughter over that EXPECTATION.
* That’s part of being innocent. You are who you are, not marching to someone else’s expectations! You are a CHILD of God and HE will Guide you. We are simply to delight in each other understanding it is okay to be spontaneous and free under HIS Guidance.
* I am NOT trying to say we are not innocent just because I say, “I don’t ‘fkn’ appreciate you messing with my happy moment,” knowing my daughter got to go to Miami and you gotta bring up the kids who are being pulled out by the riptides! I was not mad at you or talking about what you did but what it did to me. I do not care that it was happening, I was desperate to enjoy a happy moment for my daughter! This was a big deal!
* Yeah, I guess I was the one giving it away by letting your comment get in my head. Still, I am saying I am a Child and it hurts to feel like I am separated from my sister, my baby, my kid, (speaking of the same person), OR that they could get hurt! Damn it!
* You just turned the vehicle around and said, “We’ll see who fks who!” as you raced back to my place to drop me off as you yelled at me after telling me that I could NOT say a word. I walked to my apartment alone, it was the first time you had not opened my door for me in the eight months we have known each other. You sat there yelling at me, expressing your hurt and anguish that you could not find a way to talk to me about civilly. I did not want to hear the words that would beat me up further.
* To get someone to feel safe and then punish them is not exactly the way to build trust but I do not do things by the world’s (ego=god which = no God) interpretation. I follow the Holy Spirit.
* We need to see beyond the words that piss us off! How are we going to do this?
* You are innocent, and so am I.
* Are you keeping count of what I do that is acceptable so you can put me in my place or know when to get rid of me? Maybe keeping a tab of things that I do that are displeasing, instead of talking them out and letting them go, makes you feel like you are the “good person” you want to believe yourself to be.
* DAMN! This came after an especially nice night out. It is like being hit by a two-ton truck. To give me a nice time and then pull it away when I fall out of your interpretation of grace. Well, I happen to know that I am in GRACE at all times and cannot fall out of it. Neither can you, babe!
* YOU ARE God’s Love to me, and NOTHING can make that NOT THE CASE. Period. Just as I am God’s Love in YOUR LIFE! I know this inside and I will know this regardless of what it looks like on the outside.
* I told you my testimony has to be very real if it is going to do what it needs to. If that is not something that you or your family can handle I can accept that. It will not change how I feel about who you are to me, but I will stay in my own space. Be well, darlin’.
* Welcome to “Reality Atonement,” folks!
* Life continues and you get to sort out the particulars. But you do it with an inner guidance system Holy Instant by Holy Instant.
* There is more than one part of the Sonship that is Christ.
* This needs to be acknowledged by one and all. We want to learn how to get along IN GOD by acknowledging Him First and then the Son. (Thank goodness I know I still need to learn and understand things. And that the Holy Spirit does not give up on me.)
* Around the world that knows A Course in Miracles THIS is the one element (besides the fact that God Exists and All That Is or ever will/may be is His Son and the Holy Spirit directs us in all things ~ and if truth be told, we will find out that Wholly Spirit is the ONLY thing that we EVER COULD in REALITY BE) that is missing.
* Seriously, THIS is the ATTITUDE that needs to be in every home, office, playground, classroom, and governing body.
* Anything less is making the Son something that He is NOT.
* Speaking of which…, I had to sleep on this before posting and while reviewing it I had an epiphany:
* I was surprised at what I said before it was out of my mouth but it was supposed to be said. Truth be known I was able to say it because I was feeling safe. That is a big deal since I have not felt it before. Maybe it is not you I am learning to trust but the Holy Spirit.
* The Holy Spirit. That makes a lot more sense. I forgot that didn’t I?
* That means I should have stayed there, and listened to what the Holy Spirit said when I got out of the truck and you were upset with me. It would have been me trusting the Holy Spirit then AND THAT is what I want to do! Instead, I fell back to my old defenses and ran away. Whoa! Okay, I needed to see that in myself. And that it was the Spirit allowing me to see a defense that I was holding on to. Thank you, Father, for showing me this. 
* PS, it only took me eight days to come to this understanding. I do not know if my fella will still be around but, one step at a time. Welcome to the “Undoing” Part of the Atonement.
* I have a lot to learn, as do we all as we learn to trust the Spirit and God’s Guidance and Presence.
(ACIM, W-182.1:1–12:9)
Till next time, God bless, debi.
Freedom Principles; At-One-Meant Now 
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