SAVING CHRIST; IT’S IN THE CARDS Chapter Five (Warning Sexual/Physical Abuse May Be Uncomfortable)

*Please note this chapter will discuss sexual and physical abuse issues that may be uncomfortable for any reader, especially any younger reader.

Chapter Five

Joy will be shared whether one speaks of it or not.
Joy; completion of a project, attainment of a goal, or the end of a long and difficult journey.
The fifth card the probable outcome and message from God, The Father of Christ.

I truly believe that heaven may be found here on earth. As we begin to truly understand what and who we are, more and more will experience it and their joy will be contagious. Time and space are part of the illusion created by the confusion of Christ and protected by the Sabotaged Ego as a place of punishment of the Son of God for leaving His Father and committing a sin worthy of death. It is also the remedy for the situation which, when resolved will find an end. Sadly the loss of time and space produces fear in the ego because it relates it to death.

Fear takes its place in the consciousness of man, even in the greatest of environments, and crushes the spirit, silencing the voices of those who have the power to create worlds. As a society built on fear we tape shut the mouths of those who were sent to set us free. “Let only those speak who follow the protocol established by our fore-fathers” seems to be the consensus of humanity.

There will be rebellion and there will be improvements, but even those improvements can circle back around on us and keep us under the glass that keeps us from our freedom. There will come a time when this will cease and true freedom will reign.

Fear will be gone and freedom of speech for all will be recognized. It will signify the Kingdom of Christ has been restored to mankind. Christ will be recognized in all of true creation, personally, whole, and complete individually for there exists only that which is of God and His Love.

The ego or personal identity is not something to fear, but something to be claimed, calmed, and reminded of God’s Love and its Omnipotence and Omnipresence. There truly is nothing else but spooky shadows that fade with the Light of Truth.

The Shadows of Fear cannot be banished to an endless well like the Boogie Man in a child’s cartoon. Each must be allowed to recognize the light within himself and the total ridiculousness that he would not be recognized and embraced as a Child of God. Non-acknowledgement kills (See the movie “Rise of the Guardians” to see how it plays out. “Cypher In The Snow” is a Mormon Classic that teaches this same principle.).

I believe this is the true finding of the infamous test on the babies who were not touched. I believe it was lack of acknowledgement that allowed them to die. Basically they were not acknowledged as alive. That includes not only touch but looking in their eyes and seeing them.

Fear was the thing that put my burden of pain so large the world imploded on me and I will never again be what I was before my daughter died. She and I struggled through the years. We had a few good moments in that last year though. We both knew it was coming and that there was nothing either of us could do to stop it.

That said, nothing could ever stop the love I have for my children and nothing can end the patience that I have to wait for them to understand how great and complete my love is. I have been blessed with a witness of my parents love for me, despite their mistakes and being at a loss of what to do.

And this is how I know of God’s love for me and you. It is also how I know that He would not kill one child for the “sins” of another. I know it was my daughter that helped me grow beyond my prejudices that I had maintained, in large part, because of my training in traditional Christianity. The things that I studied before the year before her death and after, to get confirmation of where she was going and how she would be, moved a mountain inside of me and forced me to catch ahold of the Spirit in a new way and fly on the current higher and higher until I was able to be in a place where the pain and the taunts could not get to me and I knew that whatever discomfort I felt, and her children felt, it was not for nothing.

I say this even as I now feel so alone in a world of humanity. My movements are slow, my desire to mingle with people, while still there, feels a bit defeated. Why bother? Who will care to hear? And they all are trapped in their own issues, addictions, or laws of silence that we are not allowed to see each other anyway.

I do not know if it is because of my age and my history or because I currently live in a small rural town but these walls that keep us so separate seem so strong. I have lived here two or three years now and I feel the people have pretty well slapped a label on me and closed the door behind their polite smiles, if they do not actually look the other way. What else are they supposed to do if you will not step in line with their view of life so that their sense of stability and sanity may stay in place?


Robotic is how I thought of it as a child of eight or nine. Today I understand that we each play a role that Christ gave us to fulfill his belief that he had separated from God and was worthy of death. Perhaps that is the role of many of us today. We have so many of our basic needs met. Food, clothing, shelter are not hard to come by for the masses, though I do recognize that many have agreed to live outside even these blessings. The children, yes, the children as well, agreed to come to such challenging circumstances to fulfill His misconception.

Contrary to the concepts of decency, I believe that some infants even came to take on sexual abuse in some cases. I was one of those. I know there have been many others. We see ourselves as not fully developed as we enter the bodies here on earth but just the opposite is true. Am I trying to say they can be treated like adults? No, of course not, but they do have a sense of why they came and what their path will include. In Law of Attraction terms, they have sent out the vibration of what they want to experience in their formative years. It is not easy for the civilized mind to consider and certainly not stated to suggest it is appropriate for those who abuse these tiny ones to do so.

(I feel impressed to speak of sexuality here as I am commenting on the human condition. It was in my book “Reflections at Fifty” and would be suitable here for this is the culmination of my life’s understanding at sixty. I was going to call it “Surprises at Sixty” but “Its In The Cards” claimed that spot and I hope the surprises are obvious as I transitioned out of my traditional Christian mentality. Another side note is that “Reflections at Fifty” was originally titled “Portrait of a Harlot/Saint” because of my challenges with sexuality since I was young. I am considering changing the title back.)


Sexual orgasm is a term that has been used in Near Death Experiences as the feeling experienced in the presence of God’ love. This is sometimes described as having an orgasm all over the body. Is it any wonder that we would seek it out in our physical existence? It is not illogical to me that an adult spirit would be willing to appease that energy goal, in the form of an infant, in an attempt to calm the ruffled spirits of his friends and soul group.

It was misbehavior from at least one cousin that I recall as a toddler, though knowing the family of origin I would not be surprised if there were others. As I reflect on the time when at eight years of age my father opted to turn his physical abuse into an incestual relationship with me, I recall my prayer in the hallway. Hearing my seven year old brother yell as he was hit with the two by four that was our father’s whooping tool at the moment. I counted well above ten and prayed that my brother would be okay and that something would calm my father by the time he got to me. We had been called in to get a whooping for something neither of us knew anything about.

My father needed release for his rage. I had pleaded with my brother to take the spanking first and he did, for me. If I had not asked him to do that would what came after still happened? Is this the Law of Attraction in bloom?

I went in the room, pulled down my pants (as I had been instructed on many prior occasions of spankings) and bent over the end of the bed. Instead of the two by four hitting my backside, I received a warm organ between my legs as my father used me to masturbate. It was a shock to my senses in ways it has taken me years to understand. The betrayal extended in every direction I currently hold sacred. And I may never in full understand, for who can understand the insanity of what we do as we consider ourselves in the insane position of not being in God’s presence?

It is only of late in studying the Law of Attraction that I have considered that I would have desired something that would be traumatic, in keeping with my contract, and something that would temporarily have calmed him. Is there logic in this? No. Is there logic in the idea that we can function civilized or otherwise outside of the presence of God? No. Is there logic in the fact that there anything besides the presence of God? No.

Christ, in each of us, deserves to be heard, embraced, forgiven for thinking He could impose the impossible on Himself or anyone else. Christ deserves to be delivered from whatever cross we have hung Him on. Whatever physical or psychological trauma we feel He is responsible for. Let us deliver the captive and set Him free.

There are those who will check me and my thoughts off as insane because I went through this experience. “Give her meds and put her out of her misery” or “Put on your big girl panties”, etc.” I have lost association with blood relation past, present, and future, in this place we call life. That does not take away my love or respect for them, nor my opportunity to testify of the wonderful truths that I have obtained working my way out of these challenges

I have been shunned by family and peers. I have no church home because I speak of God and I speak of the only true hope for all of mankind that I have ever found. I struggle in the work place because we are not allowed to address things that are out of line. This does not take away my joy. Angels buoy me up and the Spirit bears witness of truth. I cry for the suffering that we allow ourselves to be in at times. And still, the JOY outweighs it all because I know the Love of God and its patience and strength and I know that it is all there is and we will rejoice when we are willing to lay down our weapons of not being willing to see or hear how we harm each other and ourselves by not acknowledging The Son and His error toward God and His Love.


We know ourselves and our relationship with each other with much greater clarity as an infant than we do at nine or ten, maybe even the type of life of denial of God’s love that we will experience, at least in those early years. In other words, at that time we remembered the contract we have made with each other in this dream of nonsense that suggests we might be separated from God.

I fully believe that there are angels that travel along with us in life. They steer us in the direction of our plan or mission. I do not believe it is given a right or wrong judgment and as such they will be sure that we get the traumatic experiences that we signed up for. This has come to my understanding more of late while being a mother and grand-mother and knowing that there was only so much that I could do to protect my children from difficult situations.

Whether it be of abundance (which still claims separation by virtue that it can happen to others if not to us or vice versa) or neglect and abuse, we came willing to fulfill the measure of suffering that would be experienced as we thought we had left the presence of God’s Love. It has been said we came to get lessons or learn things and this may be so for those who are not incarnated at the moment. My witness is that those in that realm, including Jesus, have forgotten the absolute witness of God’s Love and it must be discovered in the realm or sphere of the flesh.

Christ comes with us into this life from the very beginning in our spiritual/psychological coding. I can hear with my spiritual ears the instruction from His Father. “Calm him like a little child, for he is My Son. Forgive and encourage Him in yourself and in others. Know that I love Him and wait patiently for the return of each of you. What a celebration we will have!”


We do not need to take on our emotional state, our financial state, physical state or anything else to define or know who we truly Are. We Are before this existence in the physical and even before what we speak of as the spiritual reign where we existed before coming here. That sphere is still part of the illusion of separation from one another and the Love of God.

The media tells us what is acceptable and what is not. It tells us who has knowledge and clout and who does not. It basically tells us what to think and wear and do and approve of, etc. Money without end is spent on this endeavor. Bodies, the ultimate in idol worship, is altered given the generation spoken of, yet how can one have the same body as everyone else? And if you do not have the right body type you are not to be heard as a real voice of reason.

Does this attitude make it so? Is this really true if we are all from/of God? We are warned in the Bible not to have idols, yet every “body” on the planet is looked at in just that way. As an idol that distorts the true meaning of humanity as a Child of God.

At a recent doctor appointment I shared Louis Hay’s idea that bunions or carpal tunnel had to do with not being able to receive joy. The doctor stepped back and looked at my physic as I pulled my shirt down over my ample belly. His dismissal of me was pretty obvious. Will you do the same if I do not look the way you think I ought to? Will you give me a chance to speak my understanding of the moment? Having written it I have put it out to the universe and I will grow from that action. This much I know.


The suffering in the world is meant to be a stone that stacks upon our hearts so much that we can do nothing but call out to God to carry the weight of it for us and give us an understanding for the meaning of it. Mankind’s inheritance and creation was not so that they could learn by suffering. Suffering is not the great hero or catapult to humanity that allows us to grow and know what we want. We were not meant to embrace the pain and think of it as love or hope. We were created out of Love/God and we are Love/God. We are One In Him, even as Jesus was and is.

Life experience is meant to be so overwhelming that we give it to God so that He can show us who we truly are and what we are capable of. What we want to get our minds around is that there is nothing wrong with JOY. There is nothing wrong with thanksgiving and embracing the good and we are not so dysfunctional that we cannot recognize it without pain and suffering.

Whatever your circumstances, whatever your situation, you are meant to have joy. You were created to have peace, fulfillment, and abundance. All sorrow and every tear will be wiped away by the witness that all that there ever was IS God. There is nothing else and you are of Him/Her/It. I do not care what label you want to give it, this is what we are and ever will be and eventually all will understand this.

May I unequivocally declare that it is possible to have JOY and the witness of God’s Love no matter the circumstance, countenance, or even the thoughts of your mind in this moment. Because this is what you are. JOY! LOVE! God’s LOVE manifested! And your one purpose before the FATHER OF CHRIST is to forgive His Son and embrace the love and truth that are His Son’s as you by inheritance.

Out of this purpose is the ability to – through faith in God, the One God, the Only God, the all there is God – live the oneness that we Are with All that is.

Choosing suffering and ensuring that it will be the inheritance of our children seems to be acceptable with many in the world. I do not agree. Suffering is misunderstood and even looked at as a good thing in some teachings (aka Law of Attraction), as it gives us contrast and shows us what we do want. Sadly this allows us an excuse to become complacent with it and not fly above this place of sorrow and set Christ free from His false declaration that He, meaning We must die.

The Law of Attraction works to be sure, it was given to Abraham in the Old Testament as the Covenant. I believe it will not be honored in full, as it was meant to be, until we deliver Christ from bondage. In truth, the Law of Attraction is meant for the Whole Christ Consciousness.

All of us, as a whole, may receive whatever we desire. Each of us individually as well. Abraham-Hicks says that Source becomes it or that it is put into an Escrow for Us. The question is how do we access it and I believe it is by relieving Christ from His need for punishment.

The only reason it appears that we even are able to desire to harm others is because we believe that we have lack in something. The primary something is lack of God’s Love and Appreciation and this is a falsehood that we have the power to wash away.

The only time the Law of Attraction works fully will be when we are united in the understanding of who we are. I am reminded of the Tower of Babel in the Old Testament. The Christ/God shuffled the language because when mankind is speaking the same language (which includes an understanding of the intent of the words) he is capable of doing whatever he sets his mind to. The God of this world, Christ, in His fractured form and belief in His deserving of punishment and death could not accept that.

It was an affront to the disconnected ego of Christ and could not be allowed. Dear Ones, it is Christ that we were sent here to deliver and return to the remembrance of the Love of God.

Without this understanding the Law of Attraction is another chain letter or multi level marketing trap that works only for a chosen few. What falls short here in the linear sphere of time and space, also falls short in the Law of Attraction because, since we are One: We may have all the abundance we can obtain in this life and if we know another person or being is lacking we can never be truly happy. We must see Christ as the common “enemy/savior” so that we will unite in setting him free and releasing him from bondage that we may all receive our freedom and salvation.

Fear walks hand in hand with most of humanity. Darkness seems to cover the earth. It cannot be though. Because, truth IS, all there IS is the Light. Let us See Him. Let us acknowledge the Christ within ourselves and put out the fear and the superstitions.

I watched a video of Ophrah accepting an award and she concluded her speech with something like “no one needs to live in a world where we say “Me too”.” (Remember that Facebook concept that went out in the fall/winter of 2017 to indicate if a woman had been sexually assaulted or harassed.) We will not have a solution if we keep putting the problem in front of our faces without including all of humanity in the equation. “Me, too.” is not complete because it does not include the boys who were and are being abused.

If we focus on what we do want to think about and be a vibrational match to respect and dignity of everyone we will create more of it. Abraham Hicks says otherwise we invite that which we dislike into our experience and I tended to agree from an experiential and logical position. Here is the catch; during that transition of understanding who we truly are and what we mean to each other we will need to acknowledge how we feel. We will find that we need to be honest, at least with ourselves and then forgive what seems to be difficult. Keeping the joy and love in our hearts for each other. Separating physically, and/or, in our day electronically may be required for a time. Through prayer for those who offend us we send out healing. We honor the connection that is what we are.


I love how ACIM says that there is no hierarchy in the performing of miracles. There is no hierarchy in that which harms or is not of truth either. We like to say that a rapist or a murderer is horrific, yet the shunner and one who considers himself isolated or rejected is just as destructive to the truth that we are one whole.

There is only one real problem and that is seeing ourselves as separate from anyone else, including, if not especially those who are harming us. Instead, let us see Christ in all and forgive, that we may be forgiven and returned to the memory of our wholeness.

Will humans ever have appreciation for the horrors of the world, the struggles and the real atrocities that all of us are privy to? I believe that we will, as we understand that we are eternal beings; whole, complete, perfect, and with abundance without measure.

In this world of the ego we need to have witness of the challenges to motivate us to look beyond the physical and call upon the divine. In other words the atrocities are there to show us that this is not real and not of God’s love. Please, embrace God’s Love! Embrace Him! Embrace one another!


I met a man on the balcony of the hotel as I was taking photos of the Mormon Temple in St George, Utah. He had a story of great gifts and great tragedy. As a student of Energy Medicine I offered him a technique or two. A sufferer of PTSD, he declared adamantly that he could not participate in anything that would potentially heal it, because the government gave him over $2000 as long as he took his meds and had his illness. This is not an uncommon dilemma. With this kind of set up how will we be able to set ourselves free?

I am not saying take away his aid. I am saying give him what he wants for having a healthy life to begin with, and just maybe we would not need to pay him for a sick one. Yes, I really did just say that. We are all worthy of having our needs met and beyond, just because we are. This is not just a New Age/Entitlement mentality. It is the truth.


The Bible speaks of eternal life. That begins right here in accepting your role as Christ. Your role in Christ. Even Trump stands as a symbol and icon of the civilized world at this time. He reflects the best the ego can come up with. Intent to help that which is unhelp-able, that which fights itself at every turn. All the while acknowledging tom-foolery and plain ignorance in some behavior, especially in the past. His leadership is currently enforced primarily by fear and he is feared often by the very ones he seeks to help. This is currently what the human ego demands to be respected.

The ego will not sustain our nation/world/communities/or families, or our mental/social/financial/intellectual/ or spiritual stability in the long haul. No matter how it may seem to be doing so in the moment.

Who we are truly in God, will. And it will allow us to flourish and evolve.
Christ must be recognized and honored for who He is, in each of us as a part of the Whole. And not who we want Him to be; some fixture we can lay all our hopes and dreams on, while we fade in and out of life and suffering for all time.

Only in this fashion will mankind be able to open the pathways of resistance that have bound them since time began. Christ is the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega. He is that which created this world and the means by which it will change and receive its paradisiacal (as in the time of The Garden of Eden) glory.

This witness does not come from outside. It is not something that can be taught, though it needs to be spoken of and declared throughout all creation, all dimensions, time, and space. It is found in the heart of the intelligence of life. A witness that, in choosing Christ, we may each be set free from the sub-conscious, self-saboteur that denies itself the Ever Present, Ever Lasting, Ever Patient Love of God.

When man speaks of thinking for himself and looking at what stands right in front of him, he can be talked out of it. We seem to fear how delusional and intrusive following your heart or gut or passion can be, especially in the unskilled hands of would-be good doers. Again, the media has a lot to do with where we get these attitudes. Just because errors can be made we do not need to throw out the entire concept as unworthy. A wheel has the potential of running over someone but we did not do away with it.


What could be a more fitting end of our reading or outcome of our journey together than joy. I pray that this includes the sharing of what I have to offer to the world. It is the whole of me and the best of me as I stand today. I know that in giving this away, by writing it down, I will be blessed by all that is and be allowed to obtain further knowledge. This will apply whether the world is ready for what I have to share or not. I feel privileged to have you take the time to hear what I have to share. Thank you.

The bottom line is. The war is won. God wins. God IS. I AM. No illusive destruction or reincarnation will change that. The false idol created by the misguided ego will not triumph. Christ is truly our hope, our salvation, our Joy. And Christ is You And I.


Summary: Card five is the message from the original creator/Father of Christ, The Divine Father, the one that I would call God. (I believe that the one that I called Heavenly Father throughout my years as a Mormon was Christ). It also personifies the logical outcome of the situation. In other words, it makes sense if you give it a chance and can get by the brick and mortar of traditional thought.

Joy is the card of celebration for accomplishment of an outcome pursued. It also embodies the sharing of ones discoveries and sources of joy. Outside of time it simply is what you are. Celebrate! The task has already been accomplished!

The Father of Christ does not worry about His Son’s circumstance. He simply awaits His awakening. He does not even do this because where God is time has no meaning.
Recognizing Self as Christ is The Beginning of Eternal Life. That witness comes from Spirit. The experience of seeing Christ in everyone and everything you come across with another is opening one’s eyes to the truth that sets you free. It establishes you and all you observe in the presence of God’s Love, which is where we have always been.

What joy to know that we are the Christ and the saviors of Christ! It cannot help but lift others. It is not until EACH ONE is willing to remember, that our joy will be complete. Imagine all the pleasure you will experience along the way, knowing that anyone and anything that does not have this witness as yet, is but asleep and will awaken to who they are and their place in God and the fullness of His Glory.

We live in an incredible time! A time of true, delightful magic, and the ability to create what we desire with the assurance it will be as we envision and better. A glorious, joyous WE! I salute you and am grateful for each of our roles in this magnificent tapestry that is the Son of God.

About Christa-Ann Faith Godsdaughter

There was a time when I thought that I spoke out from a minute corner of the world. Speaking about the shadows and darkness I found myself in. Then there was a time when I thought that I shouted with the fury of a mother pleading for help to protect her babes. There came a time of introspection and circumstance that had me realizing that I must reach out for myself...if I was to help those I felt I had been sent here to guide...meaning my children, or so I thought. The time has now come where I understand that I speak literally for all creation in all time and all dimensions and all thoughts, past present and future. This would apply to earth and its substance but in no way would be limited to this planet or even this galaxy. What I have to share is for all creation. ALL, THE WHOLE OF CREATION, IN ITS ENTIRE CIRCUMFERENCE OUT FROM GOD AND BACK ROUND TO HIM AND BEYOND!
This entry was posted in Family of Mankind, Freedom's Core, Learning To Fly, Men in the Family, SAVING CHRIST; ITS IN THE CARDS. Bookmark the permalink.

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