Live freely, the adventure is just beginning.
The Cat; Independent, Healthy Boundaries, Nine Lives
The first card in the reading would restate the question for the card reading, which was “How do I get my message out there and received”.
I had had a few months to wait once I signed up for my seminar. I was going to write a sixty page outline of what I wanted to share, but it never came together. Other things seemed to take presidence. I knew I was following the Spirit, not just procrastinating, so I had to let go and let God and those who knew the whole picture direct me. Even the twenty page outline did not manifest itself. However, when I did the reading of the cards on the twenty-seventh day of September in the year two thousand seventeen, I knew why. The book flashed itself before me and it was in a form that had the simplicity in which I could speak of the chaotic and deep issues that were in my heart.
Little did I recall the effort it takes to bring the material to print or the evolution that would occur inside of me in the writing of it. Now, in the process, I recall one of Brendon’s teachings. Don’t forget that just because you had the first victory and you conquered your fear to do whatever (for me it was writing my first books in my fifties); you will still need to put forth that same effort, and maybe more, with the birthing of your next project or step. I cannot remember if he used the analogy of birthing or not, but it is a very real thing to me as a woman and publishing ones thoughts in book form can emotionally feel like giving birth.
I know that someone can tell me a truth that I do not understand yet, and if I am not ready, I simply will not hear it. That is really worth repeating. I know that someone can tell me a truth that I do not understand yet, and, if I am not ready, I simply will not hear it. This happens even among those who consider themselves very open minded seekers. It is also the argument that can stop a conversation between two individuals very rapidly. Here is where faith and a basic confidence in what you believe in at this moment is important. Trust me, the Spirit is attentive to your heart and where you are at in the moment and what you are willing to receive.
Even dear Brendon made some goofs from my perspective, during the seminar when he made fun of, not once, but at least two times from stage, his wife’s cats. Maybe it is a comedian’s prerogative to criticize that which is very dear to the heart of someone they love, but I do think this is a protocol that should be avoided. It makes me shudder to think that he does not realize what he may be doing to his relationship when he “tricks” her onto the stage before 1,500 people. And to use one’s charisma, popularity, and name on the rental for the hall, to push one’s political agenda, seems tacky and disrespectful to me. “Have the courage to say the hard truths” was his counsel to us. I wonder if he considers his status on Oprah’s team and on the cover of Success Magazine to put him above reproach? I hope not, for I mean no offence.
It is important to remember that we are all in the process of learning, which to his credit, Brendon admitted to during the conference. At least it seemed like that just before he told us he ran some sort of four-day marathon for us and dipped himself in a painful ice tub to be able to do the four-day conference. Somehow that seems to raise him up and shoot us down if we do not follow suit or take his advice. Maybe it is just the way I heard it.
To not recognize that each of us lives in our own world, manifested by how we choose to look at the world, is to do ourselves and the world a great disservice. I would suggest that the words on the card (independence and healthy boundaries) suggest that everyone, wherever they are in their understanding of life, maybe just where they need to be. That can be really hard to take; especially when we are aware of things like the Las Vegas shooting that occurred on October first of this year (2017).
It really demands to look at the big picture to feel at peace with this. perhaps in direct relation to the question I asked on how to share my witness with the world, I need to remember to claim my witness as mine and establish healthy boundaries for those who would strike it down and perhaps even with those who would agree with or desire to join with me, because this is not something that we will be able to ride into on someone else’s testimony or coat tales with. We will each need to come to an understanding of it ourselves and, our relationship to each other, before we will be able to enter the kingdom….yep, you got it…drum roll….of heaven.
One thing that I am still finding a bit challenging, is determining if I am speaking from the ego fabricated frame of mind or from the one who dwells in the presence of God’s love, as I read the cards. That is why I broke it out into this five card spread*. (See Appendage A for the just the card reading itself.) I may get inspired to create something clearer as I walk this walk, but for now, I will need to work with this possible faulty foundation in mind. This is the situation in all communication except with Spirit. Or at least when we communicate, as if we are separate.
Is it possible to have independence and not be separate? Only when we acknowledge absolute wholeness, completeness, and (for this purpose), the perfection of ourselves individually, and that it comes because we are of God. I think the infancy stage of the body is a conjuncture of the ego. Part of the fabrication to create the illusion that we are separate beings and that we are somehow dependent on others; which, when you think about it, is actually the truth turned inside out. Our true wholeness encompasses all of creation. Nothing can be lacking because it is of God. He takes no emotional part in this realm, because it is a fabrication, yet we, even in our current nightmarish state, have Him within us.
I recall one time when I was home alone, I was rocking my baby, nursing my eldest daughter. I looked into her eyes with the desire to tell her that I would do my very best with my limited capacities. It was a mindset to speak to her of my heart and my insecurities. What I saw, in her eyes, shook me to the core. I knew that there was an intelligent being in that little body. One that had, at least as much knowledge as I did, and on reflection maybe more at that time. It was an alarming awareness which I continue to learn from.
Perhaps if I had had family support or structure I would not have had that private moment, when I was open to seeing who she really was, so that I could assess how best I could serve her. I do give thanks for that supposed lack in my life because she taught me incredible things; as have all my children and grandchildren, and that continues to today. She is no longer in the world of the flesh, and while I feel her presence, and my message is also for those in the dimension where she has consciousness, I reach for a higher place that is right here, or wherever we visualize ourselves to be. It is the preparatory place for being completely united once again, mind, body, and spirit, with God.
The question occurs to me today, why did I not see myself, as I saw my daughter? Having come into the world with an identity that did not need to be created by those to whom I was birthed or reared. Instead, I had created a monster self of labels that came from multitudes of caregivers, teachers, classmates, television shows, etc. I saw myself as “not enough” in a world of those who knew what I did not know. I truly lived a distinctive double standard, before the Spirit was able to teach me, of our similarities and completeness before God.
Our finite and linearly fabricated consciousnesses have difficulty understanding that which quantum physics teaches, but that does not eliminate its truth. So how do I tell the world this is just a fabrication? Especially when I live yet in the fabrication myself? This is where I feel that faith and Spirit help us individually to transcend this. All of us have access to our gut feelings, our instincts, our inspiration, and the voice of Spirit. It is quieted and not talked about in so many circles. Even where it is recognized we are still advised to close it down so that we meet the wishes of those in charge at the moment. How many organizations or churches do you belong to where you have seen this?
And how do I get heard above the addiction to Oprah, Ellen, Tony, Brendon, and so many others? There has been a great deal of tearing down of the icons and saviors, that people wish to live in the limelight of, so as not to be aware of their own light. Priests, football players, government officials have come crashing from their pedestals in the past several decades. Still, there is no end to the list of saviors that the world would look to, as a whole. Yet the vital teaching is to recognize that you are the savior, in your sphere, and by living that reality, you teach others that they are the saviors in their spheres of influence.
The mouths of the prophets have been closed. By this I mean individuals. You cannot go anywhere and speak an opinion without using the name of some movie, multi-millionaire, or publicly recognized personality, or you look the fool.
I wish to open minds, to the idea that this is the fabrication, and we each have the ability to heal the fabrication and step into a place of creating where heaven lies, right here in the flesh. This is not unlike what Abraham Hicks has been teaching with the Law of Attraction for a few decades now. I want to take that concept even further, and focus it on bringing in the shift that has been prophesied in so many faiths.
While living in the fabrication we will have to accept the present conditions and vernacular, or manner of speaking and relating, that the truth may be realized in a gradual sense. Even while knowing that gradual, is a possibility only in the fabrication of time and space and division.
Here is where it gets a little touchy. Will we simply be absorbed into the mentality, essence, and presence of God, to lose entirely, our witness of human existence as the eastern religions seem to suggest? Or, will we recognize that He is of us and We are of Him and that We were created by the original Being, to manifest indefinitely for His/Her pleasure and Ours. I suspect that sharing the joy and experience is a delight even to God, or Source; which is the term Abraham Hicks uses.
About seven years ago, when I was first following Brendon Burchard, he spoke of being a self-proclaimed expert, and this was a fairly new attitude. It was part of the new reality we have been given through computers and other technology. Today there are webinars on every topic, free with good nuggets therein, as he (Brendon Burchard) taught us, and they are to get you to want to know more.
I do have to respect the way that our social consciousness behaves at this time. Specifically speaking to the need to have someone else tell us what we think and how we feel. In the past this has been seen in organized religion, though that is fading rapidly. In the recent past, as noted, we have followed sports stars or the latest movie craze or cartoon character; each of them teaching their own faith or philosophy. We follow those who have what we believe will bring us happiness be it fortune, fame, security, a sense of belonging, etc.
Those that have shared that sense of power that comes from “moving the energy in a room” or skills like Neuro-Linguistic Programming that give us an edge up on our “uneducated neighbor”, or computer skills to sell products and reap the rewards as people pass through your specific cyber “tole” way. We are still functioning in a very dog eat dog kind of world, for as haves and have-nots is still the way we choose to see ourselves. We are set to leave that, and worse, to our children. And ourselves, if you, as I do, believe in reincarnation.
Humans are addicted creatures in this state of fabrication. Their ego existence relies on it. Addiction to that which seems to provide strength in the fabrication, or addiction that seems to destroy that which we have been given or created in this fabrication; either way it is false and not lasting. Addiction, of any sort, only leads to a craving for more, until it washes away our common sense. We see this in our public representatives and icons more and more. Eventually, we are left with our faults glaring openly before the masses and yet, as a mass (or should I say “mob”) we are willing to forgive them because they had the voice that gave us so much; the voice that fed our yearning for recognition and superiority.
Jesus and Hitler used this technique, although Jesus’ audience was not as big at the time. These things are still what humanity wants to glamorize and follow. In ACIM Jesus says that a good teacher, a true teacher, wants the student to outgrow them. When instead we feed the ego or the fabrication there is no satiation of the addiction to the power that teaching/controlling gives.
This power will pass as the body leaves us. Influence, yes, like Louise L. Hay and Wayne Dyer, but even that influence needs to be allowed to segue for the guidance of the Spirit for those yet among the ones who walk in the wardrobe of the flesh. I wonder if the Zombie Apocolypse has something to do with the state we live in as we function in a world created by those who have moved on and created a sort of living dead society as we do not allow this moment and the living to create our present gifts. We do not have to throw all of yesterday out but let’s keep only what was good and allow ourselves to Be now.
Even being a person of integrity and claiming one way is correct after giving so much good in another direction is a form of power play. Many a lover does this to their partner and it has been done by people of celebrity also. I am not seeking to throw stones. It would not serve me. My purpose is to identify the challenge of communicating publically with a concept or idea that serves all of us when the fabrication gives us so many false witnesses of truth.
Doreen Virtue is a woman of drive and discipline. Her three doctorate degrees testify of that. Her ability to do hard work and share things from a spiritual source is obvious in her many programs, books, and cards of which I have five. She has chosen to say Jesus has called her to something else; though in listening to the testimony of her vision of Jesus, I neither saw nor heard anything to suggest anything other than a witness that to serve others without ego was what Jesus was teaching.
I feel she may have allowed herself to yield to social influence because of her desire to have a social environment where she feels she may exercise her own creativity. The voice of the other can seem very comforting when we feel trapped. Her wardrobe witnesses that she has allowed herself to be used as an advertisement. And, while there are those who have tackled the mountain of being an ad while maintaining their own integrity, I suspect it is a gruelling journey.
I believe that her shift may have more to do with her trying to restore her personal power than that Jesus has called her to renounce her previous work as it seems to some of us to be the case. I had only known of her for about four months before she made her announcement and I found comfort in hearing the word of God and prayer. Many of us send her prayers and we wish her safe journeys of discovery and abundance.
Seeing this transition I thought this would give me the crack in the door that I needed to be able to talk about Christ again. I also knew that I wanted to take the Angel Tarot Card Reading certification course being offered at Hay House. Radleigh Valentine has made the course fun. I have observed the shift that occurred publically and am well aware that this had been being prepared for some time. I wish Doreen every good thing as she establishes herself in a different direction or even another if she feels so directed.
When we teach from a true place we stabilize and feel joy in the success of another and their flight. And do not need to continue to maintain the status quo of “being on top”. We recognize that another’s success is our own, as another’s failure or loss is as well. This comes from an awareness that there is no separation among people. Sadly, this is not the attitude that is taught from the stages of those who would lead us at this time.
In the beautiful sunshine on the veranda overlooking the bay, I chatted with another attendee at the seminar. She was quite the adventurer and achiever in her own right apparently as she spoke of books and marathons. She told me how someone who had attempted to get people to bring music to those who were in hospice and how it was shunned and scoffed at first by those who should have seen its benefit the most. She went on to say that over time this had been overcome and currently there were several choirs and more organized all the time to meet this sensitive need. It was a very inspiring story and I asked her if I might comment on it in a book I was writing.
The conversation went well until I clarified that I was going to present some new insight on Christ and Jesus that could help set the world aright. There was no allowance for discussion after that. Apparently, we have established that all that needs to be said about this paradigm has been discussed. The conversation became very superficial after that.
It seems to me that Jesus and Christ have been taboo discussions probably since Oprah declared that Jesus did not come to earth to die upon the cross; such is the power of an icon and their influence on those who follow them. Interestingly, I have to say that this influence may have been felt even into very established Biblical organizations because I experienced this in the Mormon church, as an adult, for over thirty years as well.
Even though Ophrah is doing what she can to claim her own voice and show us how to do that, there are those who choose not to think for themselves. They choose instead to simply jump on her bandwagon of being and negate themselves. And then those with dollar signs, instead of eyes, who see her influence as persuasion of the masses to purchase and thus do their part to push to power addiction on her, as do those who make the purchases. In this place of fabrication with haves and have-nots, it is very understandable that this would happen. I do not wish to be a part of this. It is not in alignment with what we truly are. We are each meant to be creators of our own world, and our own satisfaction and enjoyment, as children of God.
Another woman expressed overcoming obstacles and living the dream of following your heart; even though the financial rewards she was hoping for had not yet fully manifested. She shared her witness of the futility of having enough answers by the example of bringing up a daughter who had abundance in so many ways and yet struggled with a lengthy stretch of suicidal inclination that was very challenging for the parents.
“How could that happen?”, seemed to be her statement. I expressed my concern that no one really wanted to have answers to these kinds of questions. She declared that she would like to understand, but I could feel the wall of doubt she had against such a possibility, nonetheless, I will try to bring them forward. I truly believe that there are answers and I have a personal witness of this form of heartbreak, both from the perspective of one who has lived in a state of suicidal mentality for at least forty-odd years, as well as living with a suicidal step-mom for many years, and as a mother of a suicidal adult child.
For me, these thoughts came in response to feeling a sense of futility in being of value in a society I could make no sense out of. Currently, I feel the challenge of raising the human consciousness out of its need to self-destruct and the insistence that mankind maintains of it right to suffer and be in punished by diverse forms of pain. This is why I believe that we need to acknowledge one enemy so that we have a chance to unite as a whole entity and people despite our differences. We will then be able to move forward into a totally new experience of abundance and never-ending joy and celebration.
My message was not the only thing on my mind as I journeyed toward the west coast. Since I was getting the opportunity to go back to the place of my birth and my teenage years (I was in the Midwest, Minnesota specifically from six to twelve.) I wanted to go by the places that I felt were significant. I got the address of my parents from my birth certificate and made sure it went with me.
I followed the white lines on the road and tail lights of slower trucks into the mountains outside Denver. I had not travelled this way before as far as I could remember but I know my fear of heights that I discovered while I lived in Utah for a short while. Because of rain, and a few unproductive attempts to stop, I ended up spending the night in Georgetown, Colorado. I woke to find myself in a beautiful mountain community that I just had to explore before heading out. It turned out to be nearly dark when I set off again but my heart was full with my adventures and the idea of seeing the majesty of the mountains before I reached my destination really made me feel as if it would put me over the edge of my tolerance. Pacing myself and enjoying the beauty of the day I had just had made more sense.
I had adventures before I actually got to California and my birthplace which I will speak of in future chapters. For now, I choose to recall finding the place where my parents had lived when I was born. I breathed in the energy of the weather and the community. I envisioned what it may have looked like back in the day. I considered two adults; though, while my father was out of his Korean War service at 26 and my mother was just 20, though she had had a boy and girl a few years before I came along. They had lives that were filled and tortured already, yet they had the hope to bring in a new child. Or was it really just lust? Believe it or not, I do not wish to judge, I only wish to acknowledge life as we consider this fabrication to be as honestly and clearly as I can. Either way, it mattered not to my enjoyment of being in the place they would have walked when I was at their mercy for my survival. Today, my father watches from his place in the spirit world and my mother resides in a US state that I have never seen. Our paths divided long ago and I am okay with that.
Having an illegitimate baby which was not exactly a good thing in those days, but neither was being one-fourth Native American or from alcoholic parents. Another child was to be born before the wedding and a separation and divorce followed soon after. Did these things create who I was or did they give food and fodder for the ego identity that I would carry into this fabrication? I walked around the neighborhood and took photos. There is an incredible amount of beautiful latino influence there.
There was also a local fast food place that had photos from near the year of my birth that I was able to soak in. I got a meal because the sign boasted of pastrami sandwiches and when I went inside to order I could smell the moist pastrami that I recalled from my junior high days in California. I watched as the man put that wonderful robust and moist pastrami on the grill and dried it out. Sadly the sandwich was not quite as I remembered. The moist steamed bun and dripping pastrami juices were absent.
I do believe that memories of our past may be changed for our benefit in this place of fabrication. Take the good and embellish it. Why not? It is food for the soul and the senses. Let us be children, let us rejoice! And let us not forget that this is but a fabrication and let us remember from where it comes.
I was able to visit the junior high and high school that I had attended. At least I walked around them. Again, the subtle, quiet memories of relationships and struggles where present. Not everything was familiar. In my day the chain link fence, which on the back of the high school had to be at least twenty feet high was not in my memory banks that I could access at the moment. As a foster child first, with an aunt and then with a locally licensed couple I felt odd and disengaged from others. Starting over, again and again, was nothing new to me. Autumn had become my favorite season early in life because it meant the opportunity of better experiences. I was the eternal optimist even then.
The little corner hamburger shop I worked at my last year of high school was now a convenient store and gas station. The main window we served the public from still stood and I could envision me taking orders for hamburgers according to your liking, even though the owner had created fifty varieties for your palates’ enjoyment. Forty-five years did not erase the memory or my thrill at having had the experience.
When I speak of the fabrication I do not mean that we must give up the moments that brought us pleasure, elation, or even challenge. I mean only that we do have the opportunity to embrace that which we want and carry it with us and let the other fall away for the choice of influence has always been ours. That is inherent in our position as children of God/Source.
I do believe that it is important to claim our own sovereignty in that we each must govern ourselves and make decisions for ourselves. We also want to remember that this is not a solo journey and we came willingly to serve others. I firmly believe that goes for those who have done the most dastardly deeds as well. We each play a significant role in this fabrication towards restoration to recollect who we truly are. Do not fault yourself for not having all the truth at this moment. And know that truth will be given you by the Spirit as requested and as is in line with the timing of the fullness of the plan of salvation and restoration.
In summary: The first card in the reading is the situation or question restated.
The Cat encourages independent, healthy boundaries. And a multitude of lives; which we can see in the many people upon the earth and also in the many ways that we might choose to live our own lives.
This is who I will share my message with and is truly the essence of the message I bare. It reminds me as well that it is truly One that I wish to speak to although they appear to be in many forms. The idea that one life is sufficient to learn all that a soul craves to understand is not a realistic concept in my mind. The impact I am looking for will influence all who have experienced time forward and back. And it will affect all fabrication; all that we are able to perceive, not just the human form.
The card reminds us not to obsess about anything as obsession may drive it away. Obsession is challenging to me because it can be confused with what you are passionate about. I to choose to understand this as I would do well not to get disturbed by what I perceive currently as imperfections in the world. I do not believe this means to not acknowledge them, rather to not perceive of them as real or lasting.
Perhaps this card is Spirits way of reminding me to remember that the ones that I speak to will be able to hear what I am sharing regardless of when they do or what their present occupation or circumstances may be.