I was worried about going. I mean, I had been suicidal for years and it would be easy to have an accident in the mountains. Would my mind play tricks on me and find a way to end this nonsense? Then there was the coast. The weather where I could survive if I just ran away. It was stomping grounds of my early years. I had been told I was not wanted here and that I should kill myself by someone I cared for very much. Hmm.
My capacity for working for a living in the world of illusion was fading away. I just did not see the purpose. I did not want to continue to feed the frenzy of discontent, neglect, and abuse that I saw all around me. Did I have enough fight and faith left in me? I had tried so many times.
One more time maybe; maybe I would find someone who would give a damn. Maybe I would find someone who would want to know what we are really doing here and our assignment from the Creator of creators to bring His Son into the Light.
So I went. I drove to San Diego, California and crossed the mountains at night so that I would not be overwhelmed and unable to get to my destination. You see, I have a terrific fear of height. Oh, my!
I did tap (EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique) on it a few rounds before I actually went into the mountains so that it would not get the best of me and I have to admit it lessened the fear quite a bit. Thanks to the tapping I was able to enjoy much of the majesty of my surroundings on the trip home.
I like that word; majesty… A study of words and their meanings has been a hobby of mine; really, it is an obsession. I take nothing for granted in trying to understand others. The dictionary has become an important resource for me as I understand that the meaning I put to a word may not be the meaning another has for it.
Now, majesty, at first I spelt it with a “g”. It sort of reminded me of magic. I looked it up to be sure and changed it. I still like “magesty” because magic is a lot of what this world we live in is about. Mirrors and illusions…
The majesty of the mountains bears witness of the destructive capabilities of the ego, for they were created, according to some legends anyway, when the earth shook in defiance and shock at the crucifixion of the symbol (my interpretation) of the Son of God. Mountains were raised and valleys created to destroy those who thought they could destroy God’s Son and thus, God’s Love.
The mountains drew from me several powerful emotions as I drove through the Colorado highways and was met with vista after vista of incredible power. I felt awe. I felt tiny. As I reflected on that fact that I was of God I realized that I was capable of these things and more. And that was humbling and brought about a sense of bewilderment as well, because I often feel so disempowered, rather than empowered.
I claim to be nothing but a human with weaknesses like yourself. For example, I had not planned for sleeping quarters except what I had to have for the High-Performance Academy event in San Diego, California. I reserved a room for the night before the event and planned to check out of the hotel the last day of the event and make do there-after. It wasn’t a very well thought out plan. But thanks to a friend, I was able to rent a room for eleven of the fourteen days that it took me to get there and back. (Sleeping in my vehicle was my choice on the other days.) The last afternoon of driving I found a shop of delights and made purchases for self and family that ate up the money for the last stay. The adrenaline to return kept me alert and frequent stops to stretch and check my energies, not to mention the abundant caffeine I had on hand, allowed me to travel over a thousand miles in a twenty-four hour period. So, yeah, I do silly things.
What will I do or be now that I am back? I am not really sure I know or care. Here, though, I know my assignment and that is sufficient for the moment. To be a vessel of forgiveness. To myself and those around me. Does that mean that I do not see or acknowledge the incongruencies or that my burning desire to yell “FIRE” to the world has ended? No, I just understand that it is not my responsibility to tell anyone. Well, that is not so. It is my responsibility and privilege to tell; it just is not my responsibility to see that others listen.
This surprised me a bit and perhaps came about because I never made the connection with anyone that I felt really cared about what I might have to say at the seminar. Since then I have read in ACIM that it is important to share with others what we have understood so that we might gain further understanding and so that we may literally partake of the blessings of what we have come to know. “Listening to one Voice implies the decision to share It in order to hear It yourself.” (ACIM Text Ch 5) In the traditional Christian scriptures, we are told to bear witness after we have searched, pondered, prayed and received a witness by the Holy Spirit. I have personally experienced this many times and been very blessed by it in the form of inner peace and endurance.
While acknowledging that there are tragedies and individual and mass confusion, I still believe that everything is in order and in place. Sadly, not 12 hours after the seminar ended, there was a shooting at a Los Vegas concert. Still, I believe, it is already set to be undone; meaning the confusion, fear, and cartilage. The fear of The Son will be laid to rest. That was a given the instant that the confusion at His (Christ’s) creation began. His Father made the way and it was done. We are each a part of the healing process that occurs in the nightmarish sleep of The Son.
The ability of thought is intense. Mankind has been talking about this in many ways for some time. Continual communion with God is a goal to be sought for since it puts us in connection with the creator of life and not the creator of the chaos.
Otherwise, we are left to the devices of the ego that are self-sabotaging and erratic. Insanity is like air to me. Confusing messages with double, triple, or no meaning are the quotient of my earthly experience. There are others that know what I am talking about. Not that they would admit it in polite society, of course.
“You are wanted, no you’re not.” “This is the norm, no this is.” “If you go this way, you will be okay, well really, that is only in some imagined scenario that has already passed in the memory of the illusion of mankind.” Hmm, the double paradoxical bind. If you did not come into the world on that plateau, you would soon be forced to see the logical-insanity in it or create your own fantasy of quips and quotes that explained, and of course blamed, the nonsense on everything but, Almighty God or Source, or The Universe, “All That Is” or whatever you wanted to call it, where it really belongs.
If you did not come into a family of origin that was just plain insane and you knew it, perhaps you recall your own confusing messages. Or perhaps you are one of the haves that believes the rest are unworthy or not good enough or smart enough to get into a reasonable life. Then there are those who do blame the creator and in this way feel justified and find many excuses for taking advantage of creation in any form they fancy.
To be a god (rather than accepting you are The God) yourself is the more common, I believe. Then you can give meaning and acceptance to what you want and cast the rest away as dross (something regarded as worthless or useless) as you play god. And people will quarrel with you only so long about it, before they give you up as dross or throw meds at you or throw your person into a mental ward or prison, though, these places are filled to the brim.
Today we have a world full of gods. All created in the form of the true God, meaning in the mind and in our thoughts. Yet mankind has a great aversion to accepting the truth that they each are, in fact, God. Sadly, we seem to think that this God of Love needs to punish others. What a sad oxymoron.
We truly are responsible for what is in our realm of experience and we have the ability to alter it as we choose, yet we would rather blame it on another because the seeming power of the ego is so strong. Today’s answer is to just shun whatever does not fit in your view of the world, only let in that which agrees. Break off toxic relationships and negativity. How does this heal the state of separation that we feel? That has always been around in some form. That is what Abraham of the Bible was told to do when his father would have him sacrificed to the gods, ….go to the promised land.
Now, we need to be easy on ourselves here. After all, we are trained from infancy that we live in a linear world. This happens, then that, then that, and so on. From that perspective, it is easy to understand why mankind feels it acceptable to blame the past or others, or circumstances for where they find themselves today. In truth, time and space are part of the illusion created by ego as a place of eternal punishment of the Son of God for leaving His Father and thus committing a sin worthy of death.
The ego comes to earth formed and adjusts to linear time as we grow into society. The ego goes on with us in death and was formed in the spirit world where we first thought of ourselves as separate and fallen. This answers the great mystery statement I have pondered since my youth. “You will understand when you get older.” What I would understand is that no one has real answers and we basically live in a lose/lose world where all must ultimately die. Being a naturally altruistic person who wants everyone included this does sit well at all.
Now, do not give up on me here. I lay this introduction out so real and raw because I have found answers. And they bring me great joy and hope and I suspect in time, knowledge. I will not give up seeking to share them, live them, and expound them as long as I have “Being”. We truly are One having come from the mind of the Son who is one with The Father. All that I have studied or experienced to this date leaves me with my current hypothesis.
The ego was created by The Son in the moment of acknowledgement of self. As he manifested himself through each of us, that concept of wrongdoing and the need of sacrifice, self-denial, and punishment came into being and expanded (for the creation activity started by God, The Father of Christ, at His Son’s conception will not be stopped). The ego has fabricated a need to punish those who do not do his will. That will have been decided by our forefathers and expanded since the beginning of time. It is decided by parents, society, churches, schools, government, wars, famine, media, the popular news broadcasters or the latest hit TV or cartoon series.
It has a core based in the three temptations of mankind, discussed at length in “Reflections at Fifty” which is published on Amazon in ebook form under my pseudonym, Christa-Ann Faith Godsdaughter. The three temptations are; 1 Addiction, 2 Depression, and 3 Unrighteous Dominion which means hunger for power as manifested in bullying, shunning, and other forms of manipulation.
The birth of Christ that we await at Christmas is our individual awareness that The Christ is Me (and all that we see or witness). It is a joyful thing to be cherished with child-like enthusiasm and faith. In the meantime, we curse others for their stupidity and bind them (really ourselves) to chains of supposed wrongs for which they suffer in an eternal hell of our discomfort, forcing them to do without our company. How ironic for the one we fear and wish to harm is oneself, even if it appears we are seeing the wrongdoing in someone near or far, appearing to not be ourselves.
As I started to type up my book I put the title as Its All In The Cards. I realize that I need to change this. All is not found in any particular place. That is if you consider All to be absolute and complete knowingness of being, for as I stated Creation has been set in motion and will continue to evolve, at the same time it is inclusive with its Creator, our Grandfather. Not even He is aware of all for it is motion, according to my understanding, without the likes of time.
At any rate, I hold no claim to complete understanding other than to know that it all is encompassed in God and that I will yet learn along my path. Interestingly, at the same time, I believe, all knowledge is within each and every tiny molecule of manifested creation and even within every concept and corner of every thought ever conceived. Because God is the creator and He manifests in each of His creations, as well as their creations, infinitesimally.
When we speak of all with any concept, theory, or organization created by man we are speaking of the ego’s perception which causes corruption and dies because it is a fabrication. A fabrication of Christ that allowed himself to be punished for the sin worthy of death which was separating from God.
The only All that I am aware of is that God Is. Anything outside of that context is fiction or at least is subject to the scrutiny of the time, space, and philosophy it occupies; including Christ’s erroneous concept of the error of himself and mankind.
As stated, all is everywhere and in everything, for it is the God in us. In this human form, everything that we experience gives us bits of truth if we will only be mindful of it and allow the Holy Spirit to show it to us.
Let me state this clearly, I do not feel that I hold all the answers. However, I do believe that there is something caught in the “gears” of human consciousness that is preventing us from moving into our next state of being. And that is Christ’s original false thought of separation.
I just read again about the concept that they say that Einstein pondered for the last couple of decades of his life. The formula for the concept of love as the force and the only truth that pushes through all matter and thoughts that have any form of fear, doubt, or destruction and continually duplicates itself. I suggest that he would have given us this greatest of equations if he had only chosen to take it into himself completely. I am speaking of that concept of self-love.
That being said, I am not sure that the real door of love, has truly been unlocked by mankind before now. Or that it will be before each of us comes to the acceptance of the fact that we are saviors, by virtue of being of the body (meaning a part of the whole) of Christ, The Only Begotten Son of God. A huge revelation occurs when we realize that the God (whatever name you wish to acknowledge him by), that most of us have been thinking of, is Christ, not the Father of Christ.
A Course In Miracles states that it would require only one person, who fully understands, to break the cycle and send waves of understanding to the world. I believe each of us has that calling. This One Person would have had to recognize their own faults, forgiven themselves completely, and any others, who they feel have offended them or done something that they feel would be shameful. They would also have needed to be exposed to many, if not all, of life’s challenges in some form or another. I personally suspect that this One will be a female, for the male equivalent appeared in the flesh 2000 years ago.
It was on the fourth day of my journey that I did the reading. I was at the hotel. I had made it to the seminar. Now to get to the task of why I came, which was to find the avenue or means by which I would share what I had been given.
I used the deck, “Wisdom of Avalon” created by Colette Baron’Reid, a favorite of mine. Everything about it just calls to me, the illustrations, the concepts, and the idea of the impact of that which today is considered a myth.
A prayer and a question open the door to guidance from guides and angels. It not unlike the preparation of reading of scripture. I do believe that we have legions of helpers waiting for our intention and request for assistance. Just as Jesus had angels that would come to his assistance when, and if, called upon.
The question was “How do I share what I understand with the world?”
I had in mind a layout I had prepared which will give greater clarity to the reading.
Card one is the situation or question restated.
Card two is how it is reflected in the personal ego of the one getting the reading.
Card three is the effects on the Whole Christ Ego, meaning our united consciousness.
Card four is the message from the guides or ascended masters which to me would be Christ, Jesus, angels, guides, Mary, Buddha, and so many more, perhaps without number. This would be in accord with the beliefs of the person being read for.
Card five is the message from the outcome or message from the original creator of Christ, The Grandfather of you and I. The one that I would call God, though He has names without number and may even be known as the Higher Self. It also personifies the logical outcome of the situation.
Bear in mind that I do not believe Grandfather is concerned about where we are for in His sphere this is all resolved. He would not allow His Son to be in harm’s way. All was set right in the moment of confusion. Our restoration will come as we acknowledge that we are of Him though none is fully delivered from the illusion till all are delivered and set free. That includes Jesus.
This is my perception of the world today. It is my strategy or map for understanding the world around me. We are all united and what one of us does, anywhere in the world, or in any time frame affects all others. I recognize this in situations that seem to be outside of myself, as well as having a dawning awareness, that in my own existence, as well, is the ripple effect that manifests itself throughout all time and space. This, I believe, is why it is possible for the one to change the course of mankind, even to the folding up of space and time through forgiveness and the witness of our own divinity and godhood.
Jesus began the procedure in an accelerated form. It is in studying his words and developing a relationship with him that has led me to what I understand today. It is up to us to continue the work and bring about the Kingdom of God on the Earth. He still works with us and is as close as a prayer or a whisper.